There's a lot of bullsht going on right now.
Like that Mom who killed her kids recently.
Seems like theres always some altMom killing her kids at diffrnt times in history.
Remember that 1 lady who drowned her lil ones in the bathtubby? Sad times.
But back 2 our govy's/our nation's problems.
- We're trying 2 recover our blackout-queen shitshow drunk-mess-of-an-Economy.
Nd that's clearly taking a lil bit of work. Thnks Obama 4 investing ur time nd our big dollars 2 fix this shit. Hope ur plan works out.
- We're trying 2 get all the lil ppl good healthcare.
Bcuz a lot of our jobs/workplaces/coal mines refuse 2 give us the HealthCare that we need 2 go 2 the Doctor/OBGYN/Sperm-donating aka Cyrobank Facility.
- We're trying 2 save the Planet from an epic meltdown.doomsday.shitfest.ajfshjdgfs.
Which is gonna take the most work of all bcuz of all the damage that u/I/Exxon has done in the last hundreds of yrs.
Basically, there's already a lot on Obama nd frnds' plates.
A lot of which he talked about at his State.of.the.Union speech last night.
If u didnt watch it/CNN.com+facebook=Mrr it, im sure u can find some clips on the youtubes or something.
Nd he did a pretty good job, kept it pretty positive, made me feel a lil better than I did b4.
But 1 big thing that is clearly being a lil less talked about right now is that we're still trying 2 fight those pesky Terrorists in other nations beyond our borders.
There's still a lot of ppl that have screwed us over who are "at large".
Nd I'm not much of a revengeful person, but its an understandable goal of my lil nation in order 4 it 2 protect itself.
Which is why I, José, have decided 2 take bold action nd Help Support My Nation by
Joining the Army.
Just want 2 b "enlisted" nd hazed until I can't stand on my own 2 feet anymore.
Just want 2 "feel" 4 my country nd its efforts.
Just want 2 get crazy drunk with my army frnds evry night in Fallujah/Kabul/AndrewsAirForceBase.
Want 2 b one of those "Army Stud Hotties" who is featured on the UnitedStates' Government-Official XXX-Army-Boyz-Hot-Sluts Calendar evry year.
Want 2 conveniently place a threatening-looking gun near my reproductive organs as I pose with my bulging biceps 4 all the Ladies of the Wrld.
Want 2 someday b the "poster child" 4 the U.S. Army nd be featured in their super-scholarly commercials that always play while my lil cousins are watching Spongebob Squarepants.
Wondering what messages I can promote [aka I will be forced] 2 express 2 my great Nation via being featured in a made-for-MovieTheater-previews commercial 4 the U.S. Army.
- Would Moms+Dads b inspired by my heroism, nd thus would pressure their kiddies 2 enlist?
- Would tweens b intrigued by my heavy weaponry nd want 2 try it out for themselves?
- Would lil preschoolers b scared of the violence I'd be enduring on film nd would b scarred 4 life enough 2 never join the army?
- Would older folks b confused by the futuristic technology I'd b promoting nd thus feel more disconnected 2 their Nation's militaristic efforts?
Thinking now that I should sleep on this decision, as I guess it sort of requires me 2 potentially sacrifice my life/safety 4 my country.
Hoping 2 bring Peace instead of Bitch Wars,
José
Want 2 join the army with u José.
ReplyDeleteWe could have super fun timesss looking for terroristz, doing army drillz, having a blast.