Back in the Game, Sortofs.

Intro: This is a BlogPost that begins by discussing my personal absence from the Blogosphere nd my decision 2 get back in the game a lil.

"2 Blog or not 2 blog" has been both Will Shakespeare nd my personal question of the last few weeks. With hardly any free moments in my lil ol life, L.A. Nouveau has hardly received much posting love of late. So much traveling has occurred (aka Get excited 4 some amazing destinations via the "José Meets World" meme), so many ppl met, so many landmarks defaced, etc.

But in the last few weeks, so much Music News has been pouring from out of evry lil hole and crack that I simply have no choice but 2 re-start up the L.A. Nouveau engines nd get this baby lubed cocked nd ready 2 fire once more. (U choose whether this was a SexualRefrnce or not)

This time, however, in order 2 bring u more up2date music findings, I have gone 2 the dark side via TUMBLR in order 2 supply u with the latest.

So, as of this very moment in time, I present 2 u all...

MusicNouveau. A place 4 José-approved Music. A place 2 quickly browse nd instantly download/listen 2 quality tunes. A place 4 losing urself in the music the moment you own it you better never let it go (sry bout that, started channeling Eminem there).

The link is this: MusicNouveau.tumblr.com

Nd here's a lil peek at whats cuming up in the next few days on MusicNouveau:

- Sufjan Stevens new album??? Zero 7's new genius creations. New song by Air. Imogen Heap has new shit 2. New band 2 watch 4: The Dodos. Nd more. Its all gonna b there.

This could b the greatest experiment of all time or the biggest flop of my career. Either way, u's all will b doing it with me.

Hope u bitchfully enjoy,

José

The Best of the Last NinetyNine BlogPosts

Very special BlogPost ahead.
Like, this is a big one.
This is not a drill.

Its L.A. NOUVEAU's
OneHundredth BlogPost.
This officially marks the 100th Posting that will b published via Google's the Blogger + the writer/artist/entertainer José.

Cant believe its already been 100 BlogPosts.
Wasnt always sure Id make it 2 see this day.
Sometimes felt like just 'giving up' the dream.
Oftn asked myself if it was worth the effort 2 keep going when viewership would plummet.
But thru Thick&Thin, we made it. I made it. U's all made it.
2 see the day when L.A. Nouveau would b a 100+BlogPosts Blog.



So in an effort 2 honor the fact that there have been NinetyNine diffrnt/diverse/multicultural/AfricanAmerican BlogPosts written b4 this 1,
Want 2 chronologically reminisce with u about ur fave BlogPosts in L.A. Nouveau history.

Ive consulted some of the Wrld's best blog readers 2 cum up with a list of their favrite posts, including many of the AllStars that u know nd love who have been previously mentioned in L.A. Nouveau, such as SKeimig, Ally, HelenKellr, Brody nd more.

Here's some of the results 4 the ppls Fave Blog Posts of the last NinetyNine...

- The Circle Scarf: God Says Ur Welcome - A deep exploration of the Wrld's best fashion invention in histry: The Circle Scarf. 2 know José is 2 know my love 4 the AmericanApparel CircleScarf. Nd 2 express my love for the CircleScarf, I had 2 incorporate a lil bit of BlogArt.

- How 2 B More "Out There Grindin" nd Other Pieces of Advice - After discussing diffrnt places on the InterWeb 2 find good Advice, 1 critical WebbySite was examined: WikiHow. Nd conveninently, the WikiHow 2 of the Day was "How To Grind", making 4 a great discussion about just how 2 get down on the dancefloor. Plus, gave some notable commentary on the shitshowy yr that was 1942. h8 u 1942.

- Report: Teens Channel Their Teen Angst Into Txt Msgs - Warning, this link will send u 2 all BlogPosts that are Labeled as 'Sufjan' just bcuz the actual link 2 the post isnt working. Way 2 Suck Blogger/GoogleInc. But after a lot of review, most of the lil scholars seem 2 agree that this is 1 of their fave posts. Rly opens up about what it means 2 feel Teen Angst. Nd the best part about it is its authenticity... its a REAL TXT MSG I intercepted along the way.

- Ur Nouveau Travel Agency has Arrived - Aftr realizing that we might just b in a lil Economic Downfall, I figured it would b helpful around the holiday season 2 share with u's all some of José's travel recommendations of diffrnt places 2 go in the UnitedStates 2 help out the Economy nd not invest ur dollars in othr wannabe nations. A few ppl even shared their Holiday Travel Stories aftrwards. Wish more ppl would commnt.

- Ally+Bro: A New Internet Meme - While it was pretty recent, this post might just b the defining BlogPost of our blogosphere-based generation, where InternetMemes like LOLcats nd RickRolling dominate poplar culture. A collection of photos of 1 of L.A. Nouveau's most trusted interns. Under the pseudonym Ally in order 2 protect her real identity, she eloquently poses with an incredible collection of diffrnt types of Bros. This collection is a once-in-a-lifetime viewing experience.

- Its Not Easy Being Alive nd Born From 1979-85 - An apologetic look at a large demographic in our society who at first would seem 2 'have it all', but in reality has it pretty rough. This group of humans Im discussing is 20somethings. Plus, this BlogPost contains the now famous quote
"Just trying 2 save myself from the most Jager Yoga period of my life". Cant beat that.

Have any othr L.A. Nouveau BlogPosts of the last NinetyNine that u particularly loved? Share them via Commenting. But srsly. Theres a shitton more blog posts nd Im sure at least 1 of them struck u in some way.
So inform me nd ur fellow readers so we can all b "in this 2gether".
Or share ur thoughts via theFacebook on the Discussion section of the newly-redesigned L.A. Nouveau page. xx Direct link here: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=110138205400&topic=8500 OMfG xx

Wonder what the next 100 BlogPosts will look like.
Wonder if the InterWeb will still b a free place 4 me 2 communicate with u's all by the time L.A. Nouveau is at its 1,000thBlogPost.
Wonder if u's all will still b alive nd well 2 read the 2,350thBlogPost.
Wonder which 1 of u's all will try 2 assassinate me in order 2 take over this blog someday.
Wonder if any1 is even out there...


Hoping 2 get a 'Sign' that life still exists.

Hoping 2 Celebrate this Great Moment in L.A. Nouveau history by partying with u's all 2morrow night at the L.A. Nouveau HeadQuarters.
Hoping u's all will stick around for the next 100/200/500/InfiniteAmount of BlogPosts.

Thnx 4 being part of this greatness.
Thnx 4 helping us make history.
Final tribute 2 the 100thBlogPost:
100. 100. 100. 100. 100.



Love u bitches, but srsly,
José

Stand Up 4 Ur Emotions, 4 Uffie, 4 CoExistance

The following post is about our feelings. Not just mine/not just urs/not just u's all's.
Our feelings. All 2gether now. As my frnd N.D. would quote from 30Rock: "Emotions..."
So... lets talk about our "emotions".

Sometimes we're happy.
Like when we find out that the boss we h8 is being deported back 2 the Philippines, or when we find out there's an amazing buy 1 get 1 free sale on Vermouth at ur local Food4Less.

Sometimes we're sad.
Like when we realize that we're going nowhere fast in this silly lil un-Alt life we're living, or when we figure out that our best frnd put up an ad on Craigslist 4 a new bestie.

Sometimes, we're frustrated.
Like when we save that 20-page report on the predicted economic woes of the 2040's until the night b4 its due, or when we learn that the person we're hoping 2 hook up with 2morrow night refuses 2 kiss until marriage.

Sometimes, we're exctied.
Like when we find out that CSS is cuming back 2 town 4 anothr show with Natalie Portman's Shaved Head, or when we realize that our secret lovr from home is coming out 2 california 4 SpringBreak 2kNine.

Sometimes, we're scared.
Like when we discover that we're being followed on the streets by a creepy guy singing Strawberry Fields 4Ever, or when we watch 2 many End.Of.The.Wrld/2012 specials on TheLearningChannel/DiscovryChannel/LackOfHistryChannel.

Sometimes, we're drunk.
Like when we forget 2 moderate ourselves nd not take booze from buckets at that Black&White-RobertRodriguez-Directed Film-themed party at a designated GLBT apartmnt complex, or when we buy five bottles of Vermouth 2 share with our frnds but wind up enjoying it all 4 ourselves.

Nd sometimes, we're angry.
Like when we find out that Sparks, evry1's favey alcoholic+energy drink, was being pulled off the market bcuz of stupid lawsuits about health risks, or when we borrowd our frnd's camera one time nd then it got stolen at a football game but then we paid 4 her 2 get a new 1 anywayz.
OR... when Hipsterrunoff bashes our fave trashy AltCelebs.
Like what happened 2day.
When aftr a week of somewhat ignoring Carles (sry dudeski), I decided 2 go back on HRO just 2 see what he was up 2, u know.

So it should come as no surprise that I was initially rly happy 2 see a Post written about the 1 nd only UFFIE.
But aftr admiring the naked photo of her being graffiti'd on by her gayBoyfrnd, Carles, the self-acclaimed writer of the Hipster Runoff blog, contined with a bullshit rant about how he doesnt want 2 associate himself with Uffie/Justice/EdBangerRecords artists anymore because he is ready 2 "Grow Up" nd move on 2 more quality artists.
Read the BlogPost 4 urself by clicking here.

So u can imagine how this made me feel.
Nd thus, there was only 1 thing I could do: Comment nd provide a rebuttal.
Gonna share it with u's all here now:

"Dear Carles,
h8 u bcuz of this post.
Srsly.
U write:
'In 2k9, now that we are closer to bringing authentic art/artists to the mainstream, I will no longer honor memes like this.'
Mainstream doesnt = authntic.
Nd nor should it.
What separates me from the next mothrfker is that I have my authentic altLoves.

Nd srsly, the alt community is its own community just like the mainstream community.
We both have our legit artists [FleetFoxes + Coldplay]
We both have our dance electro shit [Cut Copy + Lady Gaga]
We both have our “deep” singr/songwritrs [Sigur Ros + Feist]
We both have our potential-CrossOver DJs [Steve Aoki + DJ AM]

Nd We both have our trashy loves [UFFIE + Britney Spears]

Its not about “growing up”
Its about accepting diffrnt types of ppl.
Its about having diffrnt groups within the alt music community.
Its about CoExistance yall.
Need u 2 stop being 2 good / 2 elitist, Carles."

Hope u agreed with that lil response.
Nd now, I'm asking u a favor.
It wont take much time/effort/energy, I promise.

But its time 2 take a stand. Its time 2 defend the trashy celebs that u love.


Its time 2 not let injustice go down on this bitch right here.

So... Im asking u 2 leave a reply comment after my comment on HRO.
All u have 2 write is "Agreed", or u can write something more.
But leave a reply 2 my Comment.
Here's a link 2 where I commented. Just hit reply aftr my comment.
Just want Carles 2 see how ppl r really feeling.

Thnx 4 taking the time 2 defend ur bitch lovers,
José

A Hipster's Intense Discussion on Independence

Warning/Advisry/FYeye: The following BlogPost is surprisingly "very deep." aka Its not ur average ranting/hipster/angst-ridden BlogPost. Sry u's all. This happens sometimes. José can b "deep" 2. So grab ur lyfe jackets/floaties nd lets begin.

I have cum 2 realize 1 overwhelming reoccurring theme btween many of L.A. Nouveau's blogposts that I nevr realized b4:
Independence.

Me/u's/we all in the hipster community, in the AltBro network, in the L.A. frndship circle, strive so much 4 independence.
Its what separates José from just anothr AltBro.

Nd I have some big nuze. It's not rly NewsCntr-worthy, but its still nuze.
I dont h8 u 4 being a lil mainstream.
While I might not "get" what the fk ur doing nd why u's all r doing it, I dont h8 u 4 it.
Bcuz I know that sometimes its easier.
Bcuz sometimes its less scary.
Bcuz sometimes its more familiar/comfortable/etc.

But I as José truly blieve that deep down inside of even the biggest DoucheBag antiHipster antiIndie top40-obsessed T-PainWorshipper, there is a yearn 4 independence.
Its what brought ur gr8-gr8-grandparents 2 this country.
Its what will someday bring ur gr8-gr8-grandkiddies 2 find a new planet bcuz this 1 will be super Bogen-y.

Big.bold.statement.goes.here.:
We all want 2 find our Independence.

Yet while L.A. Nouveau/HRO/Tao Lin's AZN blog/othr blogs express themselves a lot nd often strive 4 the highest level of Independence,
Its not 2 say that being Dependent 2 some things in life is Not Ok.
Cuz It is.
Its what keeps us human after yall.
Its what keeps us functioning in our lil AltSociety of the 2k's.
Its what keeps us living evryday like there is gonna b something bettr 2morrow.

Just gotta stay a lil Dependent in order 2 survive in evryday life.
But whats beautiful about the L.A./NYC/int'l society of the wrld is that we can live among evryday life nd still b a lil Independent in our ideas/means of expression.

Even if u feel like ur trapped by Mainstream Society, u have an escape.
Let José b a piece of ur Independence.
Cuz José=Me. José=U's. José=the Independent us.

Want 2 hear from u's about 1 thing u did 2day that embodied some José-like Independence.
Plz share. Leave a comment. Draft an email to jose@lanouveau.com.
Send an IM to José's new sn: LAnouveau.
/////

B4 we depart from this overly-deep overly-complex discussion that hopefully will not happen again 4 a long time...
I'd like 2 leave us all with some Advice based on what we talked about.
- Encourage othrs in ur evryday life 2 express their José-ness nd express their Independence.
- Compliment that grrl in ur English class 4 her unique style nd her platinum yellow jeans.
- Tell that boy who made u a CutCopy mixtape back in 8th grade how much u appreciate his taste in music.
- Remind that bff of urs how sexycool she would look wearing her new CircleScarf as a dress when u's all go out 2 the clubs later.
- Choose.ur.own.kind.remark.2.tell.an.AltFrnd.of.urs

In conclusion:
While a lil bit of dependence is necessary 2 succeed in our society, Independence is what will make u u, nd what distinguishes u as the EPIC/legit/beautiful human that u r.

As the wrld-famous filmatographer/YouTuber who captured the globally-dominating video "My Dumplings" once sang,
B An Original.

2 End this Intense BlogPost on a much lighter note, enjoy the following MyDumplings-Morgan Arons mash-up that will encourage u 2 B An Original:

My Dumplings Be An Original MegaMix

This Bitch Gets "In 2 Deep"-Sum41 Sometimes,
José

How 2 B More "Out There Grindin'" nd Other Pieces of Advice

Theres a lot of places u can turn 2 in the InterWeb 2 get advice.
Its 1 of the few good qualities about this mysterious, tumultuous place that ur currently a part of.

But there r srsly so many resources 2 get advice nd learn shit.

There's L.A. Nouveau, a particularly creepy but more-or-less wondrful lil blog where u can learn about hipster couture, what Los Angeles has 2 offer u's, nd other AltBro qualities of living.

There's other blogs like Hipster Runoff aka HRO where u can learn about all diffrnt kinds of Alts by reading a series of hypothetical rhetorical questions asked by the wrld's biggest SketchBro, Carles.

There's UStreetMeet, or University Street Meet, where u can get gr8 fashion advice based on wondrful photographs of random fashionable humans captured nd discussed by 2 coolie lil college students.

There's tons of homeworkhelper sites where u can chit nd chat with othr mentally ill highschool/college/middleskul kiddies who just cant figure out how the fk 2 do their math hwk. All i gotta say 2 this is that these kidlings r a bunch of dumb bogens. Thats why u should just get ur moms+dads 2 fork ovr the money from their trust fund nd pay 4 u 2 go 2 private school. Sry, no offense, but its true.

There's all the diffrnt health-rel8ed advice webbiesites that explain 2 u y ur not feeling so well aftr being diagnosed with HIV ovr 6 yrs ago. Luv u Webmd, now i dont have 2 go 2 a doctor anymore nd pay those stupid meddycal billz, cuz i can get all my questions answered from u. Cant wait til Webmd starts offring a service where u can use Photobooth on ur Macbook Pro 2 take pictures of ur body/sores/problem areas nd it will explain 4 u what the fk is going on.

But srsly, of all the Advice webbysites out there, I have 1 favey.
It's WikiHow. U's have probably heard of it. Any 1, srsly any 1, even if ur one of those dumb publicschool educated kiddies, can write an article 4 WikiHow giving advice 2 ppls evrywhere by explaining how 2 do random shit.

I mention WikiHow 2day bcuz 1 thing i luv about it is the daily "How 2 of the Day" that shows up on my AppleInc.-inspired iGoogle page.
Somedays, the How 2 of the Day is pretty weak/unimportant/total shit.
But 2day is not just any othr day.

Bcuz 2days "Wiki How 2 of the Day" is....
How 2 Grind.

Like, on the dancefloor. Yes, Moms+Dads, scholars, bogens, lilAlts in training evrywhere, if u evr wondered wtf ur teens/20somethings/grandparents were trying 2 do when u assumed they were intending 2 have sex on the dancefloor, it is the art of Grinding.
Want 2 go thru the steps of How 2 Grind with u's now.


Nevr realized that u shouldnt ask ppl if they want 2 grind. Ive always been wondring y I dont do that well on the dancefloors of my favey hiphop/top40 clubs.
Just want to live in a country where I have the freedom 2 ask random ppls if they want 2 grind instead of just asking if they want 2 dance. Cant we just cut 2 the chase? Cum on now.


Thoughts about this photograph:

Luv the photograph. Just want a girl with sexy hips nd equally sexy braces 2 match them.

H8 this photograph. I was srsly just beginning 2 get ovr how shitty of a yr 1942 was. '42 just sucked 4 me in a lot of ways...
- Anne Frank went in2 hiding in that dude's attic that yr.
- The Holocaust went in2 serious full swing that yr.
- Almost 500 ppl were killed in my favey nightclub in Boston, the Cocoanut Grove. Miss partying there aftr RedSox games.
- The ManhattanProject, u know, the secret project where they invented the Atomic Bomb, initiated the wrld's 1st evr Nuclear Chain Reaction. Ive felt much less safer evryday since...

Just want 2 get ovr what a shitshow of a yr 1942 was.
Lets move on.


Just lettin u's all now, I think u can get arrested in certain parts of the wrld 4 initating "Grinding Chains"... so b careful when attempting this final step.

Thnx WikiHow 4 entertaining me/u's/us all yet again.
Now im just waiting 4 a WikiHow article on how 2 more effectively use IcyHot/TigerBalm...
** HINT: Future BlogPost about this topic CUMING SOON LOLZ **

Get ur bitch grinding on the floor thanks 2 advicewebsites,
José

This Might b the Last Titled Post Evr

Right now is a transition pd.
Its a time btween 1 thing and another.

We're still sort of btween 2ZroZro8 nd 2kNine.
We're btween Prez Bush 43 nd Incuming President Obama.
We're btween an economic crisis nd more of an economic crisis.

Basically, stuff is changing.
Which is good, bcuz its a time 4 change.

Nd after three long, gr8, eyeopening months, L.A. Nouveau might b ready 4 a little change. Already changed the sidebar titlez.
Hope u like em.
Im a lil ubsessed with that font.

So whats next, u ask.
Well, im asking too. What do u think/wanna c/hope 4 L.A. Nouveau?
Thinking about ditching the PostTitles.
They seem unnecessary. Whats ur thoughts?

Trying 2 bring the best of hipster culture//AltLifestyles//best music 2gether while exploring my newfound LosAngeles-based life.
Debating whethr 2 start a new segment called "Where in the Wrld in LA is José?" where I explore a diffrnt part of LA nd give my take on it.

"Where in the Wrld in LA is José?"=A Way 4 the mainstream audience 2 Connect 2 the City of LA better. (still in concept-mode)


U r invited nd encouraged 2 share ur thoughts on this nd any othr ideas.
Nd I would do it b4 this shit gets too poplar nd I am bombarded daily with 30 diffrent opinions on what this blog should b.

Also, looking 4 a new cool way 4 ppl 2 spread the word about L.A. Nouveau.
Thinking about starting a new campaign that encourages u, the reader, 2 tell ur frnds nd loved 1's about L.A. Nouveau nd all that it might have 2 offer them.
Just wanna b read more.
Just wanna b understood more.
Just wanna b blogged about by othr bloggers more.
Just wanna b Digg'd more.
Just wanna b mentioned by HRO more.
Just wanna b fb'd (facebook'd) more.
Just wanna b Mixx'd more.
Just wanna b StumbleUpond more.
Just wanna b faved more.
Just wanna b more populr by ppl using the helpful "Share" buttons at the bottom of each post.
Just wanna b accepted in2 the blogosphere more.
Just wanna b part of ur life more.

But srsly, José is here 4 u.
José = a new way 4 u 2 express ur inner feelings//weird thoughts//awk problems that mainstream society doesnt "get". But dont wry about it...
Cuz I "get" u.
Nd while sometimes u might not "get" me, I want 2 b of service to u's nd to others.

As u carefully compose ur advice/thoughts/ideas 4 the future of L.A. Nouveau, enjoy a track thats totally indicative of my PersonalBrand right now.
it's been out 4 a while, ive loved it 4 a while, have wanted 2 post it 4 a while, but just never got around 2 it/never thought it was the 'right' post.
But this feels right.
This here is Rye Rye, M.I.A.'s first signed artist onto her new rcrd label.


Rye Rye ft. M.I.A. - Tic Toc

Excited 4 the future of bitching,
José

Down With the Mash Up!

Mashups were so 2ZroZro8.

All over the interweb//blogosphere//hypemachine, mashups dominated the scene.
Thnx 2 the brainchild of Gregg Gillis aka GirlTalk, mashups bcame almost mainstreamed in 0h-8.
Evry college campus was buzzing about how cool/problematic/crazy their free GirlTalk show was. (Exmpl: Gregg's little showdown at Harvard. Thats y elitist nerds shudnt get cool shows 2 cum 2 their campus)

Once the Greggster bcame the hottest shit ever, so many othrs jumped on the bandwagon.
There was E-603. (another pretty poplurr MashUpster in case u havent heard of him)
There was the JusticeMixedWithEvrything bullshit that still continues to fill the "scene". There were the millions of blogs nd blog posts dedicated 2 yet another "brilliant" "award-winning" mashups. Nd basically by the end of last yr, it was full frontal mainstream.

Even my 9 yr old cousin was jamming 2 a mash up of the JonasBros vs. Dr.Dre over Xmas Break.

Nd because it was so the epitome of 0h-8, I wonder/secretly hope that its over. Can't we cum up with something else 2 do with music in 0h-9? How about the return of MegaMixes??? Nd this wud b a great way 2 promote buying Full Albums instead of jusrt Singles.
Miss u MegaMixes. The industry needs u, MegaMixes.
So 2nite b4 w'all go 2 sleep, let's all pray to Jesus//Allah//SeanPenn that MegaMixes make their needed cumback in 2k9.
While we're praying 4 things 2 cum back, can we also ask 4 the return of Lasgo??


Miss u Lasgo.


So I ask all u bloggers//hipsters//blipsters//hipreplacement moms out there 2 cut down on the MashUp craze in 2k9.
MashUps need 2 join Uggs, Hibatchi Grills, and Akon on the List of "SoYesterday Bullshit" that no one likes/cares about/understands anymore.

There is nothing that I can do but belong to u bitch,
José

Express Ur Guilt b4 its 2 late

I am my biggest guilty pleasure.
That's right Switzerland, nd othr non-USofA-ers who often browse L.A. Nouveau.

Nd I, like u, have a shit ton of guilty pleasures.
Nd just like u, while I should b embarrassed by some of my potentially depressing/potentially emasculating guilty pleasures, I still talk about them / occasionally flaunt them / discuss them with plenty of the humans in my life.
Yet I, like u, still feel as if they are guilty pleasures, things that I really should keep quiet about nd would b problematic nd sad to discuss.

So back to my original statemnt, right now, my biggest guilty pleasure is myself. Yep, it's me.
José, u r guilty.
Of being my pleasure.

Thought: Is that the most egotistical thing that has evr stumbledupon my brain?
Nxt thought: No.
Cuz life should be lived out in the way we most want 2 express it.
////Life=SuprTemporary////
Nd I, like u, have all the right in the wrld to live it out in any way I want 2.
(As long as I don't murder ppl, shoplift evryday, bcum a meth-producing prosty, etc.)

Nd I encourage U 2 do the same.
As T.I. and Rijanna eloquently audiotune'd about in 2k8, "Just Live Yo Lyfe"

This is continuously turning into the biggest NewYrzResolution NewYrzRezzy rant evr, but srsly, in 2ZroZro9 let us all b free to express our guiltiest pleasures and live them out, cuz who knows when else we will get 2? (Spoiler alert!: In 2Zro10, it will b illegal 2 express guilty pleasures, so act quickly!)
To promote some encouragement, I will tear down all the walls and will, right here, right now, admit to u some of José's biggest guilty pleasures.
(Inhale, exhale).
I'm ready if u r.

Jose's Guilty Pleasures:

- Humans on meth.
I should be so against this.
When it's wrong, yet it feels so right. (Love u ParisHilton 4 this amazing quote)
Looking at their suprskinny decumposing bodies makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Nd the fact that they r actually legitimately doing crystalmeth is just... wow...
Like, that sucks, yet thats amazing.
I know its a twisted pleasure.
Cant help it.



- The Bad Girls Club. Fk Oxygen 4 being an "only 4 women" TV network. The Bad Girls Club is the best show to evr cum to televisions. It always makes me feel A. proud to not b a woman, nd second of all, in love with the American dream nd evrything that it has 2 offer.


- The Mets. I know baseball is 4 cumplete dorky sports fans, but I have loved / love / will always love those Amazin' Mets no matter how shitty of a season they play or how desperately close they will get to the playoffs 2 yrs in a fking row MTHR FKERS I FKING HATE THE PHILLIES FK THAT BULLSHT IM SO TIRED OF THE FKING CITY OF PHILAFKINGDELPHIA I WILL BLOG MORE ABOUT THIS LATR BUT I FKING HATE EVRYTHING ABOUT THAT SHITHOLE CITYY FKKKK THEM


- HRO (hipster runoff). I hate hipsters and bloggers nd all of them solely bcuz I might b one, but hate admitting that i am one, but yet want ppl to think i'm one (WARNING: THIS IS WAY 2 EXPRESSIVE 4 the SAKE OF THIS BLOG SO APPRECIATE HOW MUCH IM REVEALING ABOUT MYSELF 2 U DUMBFKS) anyways i h8/love/H8/miss HRO and evrything about that blog so much. Just want 2 b Carles. Just want 2 express myself yall.

- Sexy NY socialites. As much as I love L.A. nd HATE that WB ripoff show The Gossip Girls Club, there's something about that made-up, stuck-up, slightly prissy but oh so classy NewYork socialite bartender babe that I can't get enuf of. Nd their wealthyAsFk names like Alessandra Belmont or Rebecca Curtis Manville just fuel my "I h8 u but so guiltily love/want u" feelings.



So there u have it.
There r some of my guiltiest pleasures.
Now in an effort 2 better improve urself/ur life/my blog, I ask u 2 please share at least 1 of ur guilty pleasures by commenting this post.
So please share with me below. Cuz I love sharing. And aftr a wonderful evening with best frnds last night, I have seen how beautiful the power of sharing can be.
So fking share ur guilty pleasures. Nd feel good about it.

Betches Got Issues,
José

It's the THIS BLOG IS LEGIT post.

NUZE FLASH:
Subliminal messages in music = Ridiculously IN.

Here's an example.
Britney's new album "Circus."
Track Six is a hot club thumpin' track called If U Seek Amy.
The basic gist of the song is that Brit is lookng for this chick Amy to go clubbing with, aftr-party with, maybe hook up with? (Could this be a Lindsay/SammyRonson thing goin' on?) I assume not. Since Brit didn't write it.
But regardless...

The chorus reads:
Love me, hate me, say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy.

These lyrics might be a little vague at first, but if ur like me, and u listen to the song for the seventeenth time, u pick up on an incredible subliminal oh-so-discreet message.
I'll write the lyrics again:
Love me, hate me, say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to F. U. C. K. me.


Britney Spears - If U Seek Amy

If u don't think this is musical mastery, then don't evr read LA nouveau again.
Nd don't even dare read HRO (hipster runoff) again.

Which brings me to share with u a great little op-ed piece that I just read this morning courtesy of Pretty Much Amazing!, a pretty legit sumwhere-btween-mainstream-nd-alt mp3 blog that is usually pretty dead-on. I'll share the introduction to this piece with u, nd u can will read the rest:
There are typically two types of music blogs around in this here blogosphere – those that tell you what they like and those that tell you what you should like. And then there’s Hipster Runoff (aka hipsterrunoff/HRO/OMGZHRO/Carles). Authored by “Carles”, The Runoff alternates between hating on the things you like and hating on the things you don’t like, leaving an ambiguously nonexistent center – the inability to be authentically ‘alt’.

READ THE REST by clickng here

I'd be lying if i said that I wasn't at least a bit inspired by evry HRO blog post, just cuz they're all so raw/hawt/fking honest/bullsht/use-no-vowels.
But while some may see this as exposing a dark unoriginality in LA nouveau, I see it quite the opposite. Bcuz while I might idolize the idea of HRO nd incoporate some of its wondrs into my own blog, my influences cum from all over the blogosphere/hemisphere/univrse.

Whethr I am influenced by a hawt track I find on HypeMachine
Whethr I am puzzled by the half-naked man walking down Figueroa Ave
Whethr I am terrified by the eerie sun settng into the smog instead of the horizon
Whethr I am excited by some sexcellent hipster artist playing a gig at the Music Box / Fonda
No matter... cuz this is expression. So fking enjoy it.
Nd this blog isn't ur same old dried-up washed-up slutted-up prostitotted-up "personal" xanga-esque bullshit.

This is ENTERTAINMNT + INFORMNG + ANGST-RIDDEN + NeoLosAngeles.

So to all the South Bitches, othr bitches, dark rappers, kidnappers, LOLcats, nd any othr haters/confused citizens,
u can take yo face nd throw it out the window.

Good night nd don't let the dream be bitchd away,
José

Don't Ask, Don't Ever Wanna Know.

I live in the most “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” life ever.
U ask me why?
I think the answer lies somewhere between the sexually active nerds that flock the hallways, the gays that engage in orgies with only women, the straights that have secret sleepovers with non-straights, the men that get pregnant often, and the newly-divorced mom that has started dating my 18 yr old friend.

Which is why i think i’ve cum to the point where i need to reanalyze what i’m into, what makes me vom, and evrythng in between.
In an effort to be an optimist for once, I spent class today brainstormng what in my life/in general life/in history turns me on.

Here r my turn ons that I came up with:

- Blnde ANGST. there’s sumthin about that grl, u know the one, who’s supr-colored supr-hilighted blnde hair + her personal animosity towards her current state of life that = fantastic.
- Ppl caring about the environment. Not only is eco-chic super in right now, but i cant deny how cool / EPIC / sexy it is when a bunch of ppl are togethr actively helping to bring about climate change.
- the Red Scare. it was dark, twisted, cruel, and super steamy. sumone needs to get on a Red Scare-themed porn immediately... “i know ill get ur commy secrets out of u” “ohh ull get more than that out of me” OR “ god all this mccarthyism is making me soo hot...” etc.
- Othr hipster blogs. But it’s a different kind of turn-on. It’s that “ohh u make me so angry / jealous / i cant believe u just took that idea / layout from me u cumfaced bitch,” but simultaneously “oh mannn it is terrifyingly brilliant / sexy how we clearly share the same thoughts / means of expression in our lives”
- Svetlanas. (see previous post).

And finally, my frnds, my signficnt othrs, my blog readers,
I give u sumthing I've promised for nearly a week.
I give u: M83.

Yee, it's finally here.
Nd just bcuz of the generally angsty nature of this blog, I give u a song that captures that perfectly. It's called "Teen Angst".
Nd now, for the frst time evr, u can dwnload the song from LAnvo. click the lnk.
M83 - Teen Angst
or listen to it:

Enjoy, señores.

Bytsh,
José

Just hear it. And hear it now.

After much careful analytical research, I have come to realize that homosexuality, or the idea of one person being attracted to another person of the same sex, is just not in right now. It's just not cool at this brief moment in time. It's all just SO on the way out.

To the point that even disses about gays aren't cool right now.

Example: only cumplete DoucheLuzrs (douchebags that are such losers that they don't even have friends to support their doucheyness) use the term "no homo". That shit has travelled the Oregon Trail and has definitely died of cholera. Even "that's so gay" is dwindling in its cool-factor.

So what to do now? This new information of how uncool the gay disses are becoming are sure to leave many feeling scared, insecure, and helpless, lacking any sense of how to make fun of that kid with greasy hair who you always used to yell "homo" to as he walked to his next class.

Fear not, Puritans.

To all the seventh grade bullies,

To all the name-calling coke addicts,

To all the insecure basketball players,

To all the children neglected by their million dollar moms and dads,

To all the bitter gun-clinging patriots,

To all of y'all,

I bring thee hope.

There is a new dis in town. And it is about to knock your nose off.

To think that we've wasted so much time nagging on the gays when there is a group out there far weirded, far less understood, yet far more ignored...

Hermaphrodites. or "Intersexed" as medical professionals are being asked to call it today.

It's not that uncommon, yet it is so ignored.

But think about it:

What makes that guy who acts kind of girly sometimes who you call "gay" actually gay?

Who knows what his true sexuality really is?

What you do know is that he's a male who acts rather female-y sometimes.

So instead of calling him the outdated uncool term "gay",

call him this:
HERMO.

Example: "Man, Carlos, those girly pants make you look super HERMO. LOLZ."

Or even, "Sheesh that movie was HERMO."

So, on an almost-ending note, Au revoir Homo, Bonjour HERMO.

Addtly, I have sum exciting newz to share in regards to the wrld of music.

A. My bst frnd SK aka SocialiteInNowhereland and I have cum togethr to create a new mp3 blog experience. nd its named aftr our fav up nd cuming socialite of thm all: Ally Marcus. so make sure u start cheking out AllyMarcus.blogspot.com cuz it'll b up and runnin and chock full of sexcellent music.

and SECOND OF ALL: Move the fk over Pandora. As much as I luv Pandora/last.fm radio, it sux that i cant actually listen to the specific song that i want to listen to. and what if i wanna play music at a party but dont necessarily have all the music that everyone wnts to hear?
NO FEAR NO MO'. I bring you: Just Hear It.
how it works: u type in the song u wanna hear, it finds it from places all over the internet, u click it and it plays. then u can make playlists, find more songs, etc.
its like iTunes over the internet, without having to actually have the music downloaded. can u say "FKING AWESOME"?
chek the mssk out of JustHearIt.com

Delightfully bitchin,

José

Music is my... Among other actions

I've promised a lot of people lately that I would burn them mp3 CDs.   Why mp3 CD's?  Because you can therefore fit a crapload more songs onto one CD and they're all in mp3 file form.

But after thinking over this, I wonder: 

Does this seem super selfish of me?  

is this just me wanting to save blank CD's and not wanting to spend all my time burning mix after mix when hardly anyone is going to actually play the mix on a CD player anyway?

The answer, my friends, is NO.  It's not even remotely selfish.

Cuz A. I'm still burning ur sorry ass a CD, and instead of just twenty songs, you get over one hundred. 

And second of all, I'm going in and reformatting all my precious songs to mp3 format from AAC format like i used to have them just so I can make a damn mp3 CD on iTunes.

So thank me, children.

Speak praises around me in regards to my passion for bringing good music to the masses.

Also... I'm totally stealing this from 1. Hipster Runoff and 2. all the hypemachine posts that have had this song lately, but it brilliantly describes your and my potential lives that we could someday achieve together, or separately if you really want... I mean that's cool, I won't be offended or anything.  But back to this song...

I was gonna post it weeks ago when I first found it, but i didn't have a blog.

And now i do.

So this is Au Revoir Simone doing a remix/cover of a song by The Friendly Fires called "Paris"... and it's wondrful.

Listen and love away.

Bitch, I'd Tap Corrina Harney!

José

To all humans I know

Opning quote: "When I decide to not eat again, I'll be skinny again." - MgS.

New word for you hipsters: Jaklefish.  Origin: Nashville.  Meaning: Some1 who iz a TOTAL JOKE.  Originates from the word JAK, an economically lower way to describe something that is a sad/pathetic/ridic joke.   Like you.  (U know who u ar)  

So everyone i know together makes up the biggest borderline jakaquarium i've ever experienced.  (yes, the word for a conglomerate of jaklefish(es?) )

Now, on to more important aka ACTUALLY HIPSTER not complete PO' HICK WHITE TRSH things that aren't centered around a lonely Tennessee high school (Sry N.D.)  To help u understand where I'm at right now, I feel it's important to (personally) introduce u to the things that r currently motivating the way i carry out my life:

- HIPSTER BLOGS, they fking rock and validate why i feel the way i do about life

- specifically, HIPSTER RUNOFF aka HRO if ur AltBro enuf

- IndieArt Clothing... specifically RVCA (can some1 plz fking explain RVCA to me?  fk my east coast origins), Design by Humans (best t-shirtz evr)

- Herb-based drugs, or lack thereof; this is going to be one LONG november (but ur worth it, IBG & AP)

- Amphetamine salt-based drugs; which will get me and hundreds of othr desperate college students thru this LONG november (shout OUT to MgS & SBR, and AlK & N.D. cuz u needz it)

- Environmentally-concerned students at my college (all twelve of them)

- the Los Angeles dream / the neo-American dream

Before I peace the fk out, I want to make it clear that I blame DICK CHENEY for having to help my parents pay the monthly bills.  Fk th wr on trrr.

1 LST THNG: I am awesome bcuz i live in LA.  But not all of us are so fortunate.  

Some of us are stuck in nowhereland aka rural New York state aka a frozen wasteland of despair, like my bstfrnd, whose life u should discover, obsess over, and secretly love by reading her sxcellent blog SOCIALITE IN NOWHERELAND.

Baetchin' all night,

José