The French: Supplying Us With Much

Aside from AZN's, hipsters, nd the Blogosphere, 1 of the more popular talking points of this blog has always been The.French.

In all past discussions of these mysterious/silly/cunty-but-loveable ppl, theyve been addressed bcuz of their amazing nd often superior music.

Nd with artists/singers/DJs/electrosluts like Uffie, Justice, Yelle, nd M83 just 2 name a very select few, its understandable y Im so often discussing the going-ons of the French music scene.

But there r so many othr things about the.French that we hardly ever address.

Such as their food.
Croissants = YumCity.
Nd a Baguette.with.Ham+Cheese is so "in" these days around lunchtimes.

(Thnx 2 FoodPornDaily 4 this wondrful pic of a potentially Paris-inspired sandwich)

Nd how about French fashion?
Paris has always been way ahead of the USofA in terms of its apparel/wears.




(both pixx courtesy of the many Lookbook postings of French ppl)

Just want some1 2 travel to Paris on my behalf 2 bring me back lots of vintage/chic apparel that I can wear in an effort 2 prove to my frnds/co-workers that Im more fashion-forward than them.
Assuming that this will lead them 2 in turn further question my sexuality.
Hoping that this wont effect the 3.on.3 BasketballTournament Im currently taking place in with a bunch of Bros who work a few cubicles down from mine.

But at the end of the day, no matter what else Paris/France/the.European.Union has 2 offer, its stellar music is what makes me continue writing about it.

So I continue 2day with a Parisian newcomer called Make the Girl Dance.
Theyve been tearing up blogs evrywhere 4 the last 2 weeks or so with a highly provacative/"SexyCanI" music viddy nd a SuperCatchy KindaCunty AbsolutelyBombtastic song called "Baby Baby Baby".

Here r some of the more memorable lyrics of the lil song translated in2 our more native tongue...

I want your Mom’s Black Amex. I want your Dad's car.

I want to go out with your mates. I will wear my cutest panties.

I want a hot sex session. You can look but you can’t touch.

I want to be Justice's top friend, I want Gaspard's hand on my thigh.

I want to be the only person in photos. And I want to model for Yves Saint Laurent.

I don't want any cake. I just want Coke.

I don't want Kate, I want Ethan Hawke.

I want ice cubes in my glass. I want to smoke dope with your grandma.

Nothings available 4 purchase yet in the US, but Im sure thats coming soon.

So 4 now, try 2 get some1 u know 2 go over 2 France nd purchase some of their music 4 u. Nd maybe theyll bring u back some EuroChic/Would.b.Gay.in.the.USA clothes that ull secretly fall in love with.

But until then, enjoy the music 4 free.
Watch the pretty.much.full.frontal music viddy here:

Make The Girl Dance "Baby Baby Baby" ( official video )

Nd here's the mp3 PLUS a bonus mp3 of a pretty great remix of the song by another French electronic duo called No Kiss With Gloss (this is a link 2 their myspace, u's all)


Make the Girl Dance - Baby Baby Baby (mp3)


Make the Girl Dance - Baby Baby Baby (No Kids With Gloss Remix) (mp3)


Je veux 2 bitch all nite,
José

Ur Nouveau TravelAgency has Arrived.

Getaways r the best.
Now don't get me wrong, love L.A.
I am ridiculously in love with the dirty bullsht that is LosAngeles,California.

But sometimes its nice 2 get away from it all.
2 get away from the drama.
2 get away from the erratic nd problematic evryday dealings of life.
2 get away from the CuntyMoms/SlutBags/DirtDevils/BroHoHoes.

As we all (w'all?) know, traveling around the holiday season is quite the adventure.
But regardless, aftr a yr full of more change, life changes nd transitions than evr b4, i think i, along with all u's, deserve a much needed break.

Now theres a lot of places where u/I/we/ could go.
W'all r so lucky that America is such a big country.
So many exciting places 2 go.

Now I know u could b thinking that ur ideal getaway is not necessarily in the USofA.
Maybe its Italy, maybe its Jakarta, maybe its some r&r in the Uzbek.
But right now, my fellow cuntrymen/cuntymen, if ur gonna take some LongWkndGetaway, u rly oughta do it in this bitch of a country.

Cuz America needs ur dollers.
Ur dough.
Ur pocketchange.
Ur earnings from the gold earrings u sold back to that GetRichQuik infomercial.

Cuz I have some big nuze 2 share with u.
We're in an economic crisis.

I know, ur freaking out, ur shocked, u just pissed urself nd now ur frnds r staring at the puddle undr ur feet.
But its srsly true, ur frnd UnkleSam is going thru some super rough times right now.
Nd he's looking 4 some monetary help.
Basically, in this little situation, u in college = UnkleSam nd ur parents = u. Get that?

R my metaphors too abstract for u's?

I'll try 2 tone that shit down. My b. (An ethnic frnd taught me this expression 2day, did i use it correctly?)

Back 2 the Big News. The economic crisis thing.
Instead of hopping off 2 the South Sandwich Islands, W'all gotta stay in the US this yr.
It's just the responsible feasable thing 2 do. As Friendly Fires nd Au Revior Simone say, "Someday we're gonna live in Paris, I promise, I'm on it, when I'm bringing in the money, I promise, I'm on it." But right now, it's just not a good time.
I promise. Someday. Maybe in 2Zro10. Lets hope we can.

But 4 now, its time to settle 4 somewhere in the good ol' United St8s.
Here r some suggestions based on my generalizations of diffrnt kinds of Americans.

- 4 the NeoLibrals: Portland, Oregon.
Totally urban but totally green, totally libral, totally funky fun, totally upbeat, totally chilly, totally Totttallly.

- 4 the Cumplete Hippy: SanFrancisco nd Berkeley, California.
Weed. Head shops. Chinatown. More weed. Alkatraz. Hemp evrything. Hemp wallets, hemp coats, hemp cars, hemp guns. Gotta love that shit.

- 4 the Pop Culture Circa 2008 Lover: Wasila, Alaska.
See the town that started it all. H8 her/miss hr/h8 her. Waiting 4 her talk show career. I will so watch the 1st episode of that.

- 4 the SouthernCharm-needy: Charleston, South Carolina.
In all seriousness, this city is great. Went 2 yrs ago nd would love 2 go back. Total southrn hospitality meets hip normal urban city meets confederate history. It really doesn't get much better.

- 4 the ColdHeartedBitch: Camden, New Jersey.
This will immediately straighten u up. Plus the Aquarium is a gr8 place 2 bring the kids. Nd it has a nice view of the Philly pollution, drug dealings nd gang wars.

Hope that was helpful.
Trying 2 help out this country of ours.
Trying 2 supply u with the most current news that affects ur life.

Which brings me LastButNotLeast 2 reveal a new L.A. Nouveau PostTheme:


Looking 2 put the NewsCntr in full swing in this upcoming NewYr. So Get Excited. !.

Thinking of adding a new travel advice/recreational advice/life advice in 2ZroZro9.

Bitch City,
José

Dreams of Jet Setting 4 1 Nite Only

Fk Black Friday.
While sex-crazed moms and economic-depression-unaffected husbands will be waking up at 4am to storm their nearest Target SuperCenter or WalMart UltraBig GrandeLatteLard-Infused-Madness MegaStore,
While insecure twenty-sumthng sluts will be flocking to their fave fitness clubs to work off all the turkey stuffng gravy cranberry shauce,
While 8yrold boys will sit in front of the televij in their hipster onesies becuming more braindead by the second from cartoons and othr nonsense,
While former high school students will lounge around in their big houses fresh from their beloved universities wonderng what hot popular skank is gonna have a thrashin party tonite,

I will sit and be pissed as fk. Bcuz all I want to do is be in Paris.
That's right, Paris.

For those of u who read this blog well enuf to know me, u might be thinkng "Wait, I thought u desperately wanted to go back to LA..."

Nd while this is true, and I strongly commend u for ur perceptiveness and keenness of my hipster desires, I have to inform u that it is PARIS that I want to go to right now.
More than anythng.
Just for one night.
One Night in Paris. (Not like the Paris Hilton sex tape, altho I could easily accomodate that as well...)
Why do I so desperately crave One Night in Paris?
Here's ur answer.:

UFFIE.
Live.
Tmrw night (Friday nite, Nov 28)

Uffie - Pop the Glock

It gets better.
SANTOGOLD.
Live.
Tmrw nite.

Santogold - Lights Out

It keeps getting better.
DIPLO.

Diplo - Diplo Rhythm

Doesn't stop there.
CHAIRLIFT.

Chairlift - Bruises

The four. All togethr. In Paris. At Le Showcase. With Uffie. Without José.

Again, that's one event, at Le Showcase, with Santogold/Diplo/Chairlift/UFFIE.

Bcuz this is the most epic hipster thng to happen since Welcum Home DJ AM (which as u hopefully know I more than attended), and since it is in the city that I have always dreamed of being a part of, and since the hipster inside me screams for random EuroAdventures, and since my mom (yes, I have a Mom.. but we'll discuss her more latr) just got back from Paris, and since I LIVE FOR UFFIE, and since Santogold, Diplo, and Chairlift are 3 of my othr faves right now,
the idea of this concert occurring without me makes me feel the following sentiment:
I. Want. To. Melt. Into. The. Earth. nd. Decompose.


To conclude, I'd like to switch the saying up:
Bitch, you are my death lover,
José

Music is my... Among other actions

I've promised a lot of people lately that I would burn them mp3 CDs.   Why mp3 CD's?  Because you can therefore fit a crapload more songs onto one CD and they're all in mp3 file form.

But after thinking over this, I wonder: 

Does this seem super selfish of me?  

is this just me wanting to save blank CD's and not wanting to spend all my time burning mix after mix when hardly anyone is going to actually play the mix on a CD player anyway?

The answer, my friends, is NO.  It's not even remotely selfish.

Cuz A. I'm still burning ur sorry ass a CD, and instead of just twenty songs, you get over one hundred. 

And second of all, I'm going in and reformatting all my precious songs to mp3 format from AAC format like i used to have them just so I can make a damn mp3 CD on iTunes.

So thank me, children.

Speak praises around me in regards to my passion for bringing good music to the masses.

Also... I'm totally stealing this from 1. Hipster Runoff and 2. all the hypemachine posts that have had this song lately, but it brilliantly describes your and my potential lives that we could someday achieve together, or separately if you really want... I mean that's cool, I won't be offended or anything.  But back to this song...

I was gonna post it weeks ago when I first found it, but i didn't have a blog.

And now i do.

So this is Au Revoir Simone doing a remix/cover of a song by The Friendly Fires called "Paris"... and it's wondrful.

Listen and love away.

Bitch, I'd Tap Corrina Harney!

José