Where in the World [of non-L.A.] is José?

A long long time ago, the alt/hpstr/transsexual/hermo blog L.A. Nouveau presented 2 u's all a lil meme called "Where in the World [of L.A.] is José?"

The purpose of this meme was 2 help u connect 2 some interesting/cool/whatevr places around the Los Angeles, California-area.

Unfortunately, while there were many travels via José 2 many diffrnt areas of L.A., there was only 1 post on the topic ever.

(It was on Malibu. It can be read by clicking the following link: http://lanouveau.blogspot.com/2009/01/where-in-wrld-of-la-is-jose-bu.html *there r real live pics here of the L.A. Nouveau interns!!!*)

The logo looked something like this:

Just wanted 2 remind u of what this meme was like.

Nd I bring it up 4 good reason.

Bcuz since its SummerTime, L.A. Nouveau is "doing something crazy".

Something its never ever done b4 in its entire sporadic 8-months of existence.

José is leaving L.A.

(Gasps, shrills, moans, MariahCarey-highpitched-vocalShrieks, etc.)

Dont wrry, Ill b returning 2 L.A. eventually. This is only temporary 4 the Summer.

So instead of isolating myself in L.A., Im exploring the WRLD.

Nd along the way want 2 update u's all on the many Hipster Happenings beyond Los Angeles County, CA.

So get ready frnds/girlfrnds/boyfrnds/moms/dads(happyalmostfathersday, btdubbz)/NewlyGrads nd beyond, 4 a whole new L.A. Nouveau experience about Finding Hipster-ness/Blipster-ness all over the world.

I bring u:

JOSÉ meets WORLD.

- This is the first L.A. Nouveau meme that will actually b followed thru on / the first that there will actually b multiple postings on / the first that will b continually updated thruout the SummerMonths (As my frnds Friendly Fires/Au Revoir Simone once sang, "I promise, Im on it"). -

So get ready 4 some high quality commentaries + photos of the alt/blipster/hipster happenings found internationally from José's summer voyages around the wrld.

Wanna know what wonderful place on earth is first up?

Well I have news...

Im not telling.

Until 2morrow.

So check back 2 find out nd get ready 2 start living vicariously thru L.A. Nouveau.

Bitching is so INT'L,

José

The French: Supplying Us With Much

Aside from AZN's, hipsters, nd the Blogosphere, 1 of the more popular talking points of this blog has always been The.French.

In all past discussions of these mysterious/silly/cunty-but-loveable ppl, theyve been addressed bcuz of their amazing nd often superior music.

Nd with artists/singers/DJs/electrosluts like Uffie, Justice, Yelle, nd M83 just 2 name a very select few, its understandable y Im so often discussing the going-ons of the French music scene.

But there r so many othr things about the.French that we hardly ever address.

Such as their food.
Croissants = YumCity.
Nd a Baguette.with.Ham+Cheese is so "in" these days around lunchtimes.

(Thnx 2 FoodPornDaily 4 this wondrful pic of a potentially Paris-inspired sandwich)

Nd how about French fashion?
Paris has always been way ahead of the USofA in terms of its apparel/wears.




(both pixx courtesy of the many Lookbook postings of French ppl)

Just want some1 2 travel to Paris on my behalf 2 bring me back lots of vintage/chic apparel that I can wear in an effort 2 prove to my frnds/co-workers that Im more fashion-forward than them.
Assuming that this will lead them 2 in turn further question my sexuality.
Hoping that this wont effect the 3.on.3 BasketballTournament Im currently taking place in with a bunch of Bros who work a few cubicles down from mine.

But at the end of the day, no matter what else Paris/France/the.European.Union has 2 offer, its stellar music is what makes me continue writing about it.

So I continue 2day with a Parisian newcomer called Make the Girl Dance.
Theyve been tearing up blogs evrywhere 4 the last 2 weeks or so with a highly provacative/"SexyCanI" music viddy nd a SuperCatchy KindaCunty AbsolutelyBombtastic song called "Baby Baby Baby".

Here r some of the more memorable lyrics of the lil song translated in2 our more native tongue...

I want your Mom’s Black Amex. I want your Dad's car.

I want to go out with your mates. I will wear my cutest panties.

I want a hot sex session. You can look but you can’t touch.

I want to be Justice's top friend, I want Gaspard's hand on my thigh.

I want to be the only person in photos. And I want to model for Yves Saint Laurent.

I don't want any cake. I just want Coke.

I don't want Kate, I want Ethan Hawke.

I want ice cubes in my glass. I want to smoke dope with your grandma.

Nothings available 4 purchase yet in the US, but Im sure thats coming soon.

So 4 now, try 2 get some1 u know 2 go over 2 France nd purchase some of their music 4 u. Nd maybe theyll bring u back some EuroChic/Would.b.Gay.in.the.USA clothes that ull secretly fall in love with.

But until then, enjoy the music 4 free.
Watch the pretty.much.full.frontal music viddy here:

Make The Girl Dance "Baby Baby Baby" ( official video )

Nd here's the mp3 PLUS a bonus mp3 of a pretty great remix of the song by another French electronic duo called No Kiss With Gloss (this is a link 2 their myspace, u's all)


Make the Girl Dance - Baby Baby Baby (mp3)


Make the Girl Dance - Baby Baby Baby (No Kids With Gloss Remix) (mp3)


Je veux 2 bitch all nite,
José

I Love U L.A., But U've Chosen Darkness

A few months ago, something big happened in my lil Alt life.
Something bsides liquidating my future retirement fund.
This big event was Moving 2 L.A.

Hence, the name of this blog. [L.A. Nouveau translates 2 the New Los Angeles, in case u were still unaware, slowpoke bogens]
Hence, the ideas that r expressed in this posting site.
Hence, the way I currently live my lil life...

- Like raging at epic concerts in the L.A.area.
- Like taking pixx of nature/the skyline/the mts.
- Like trying 2 get a tan at thebeach.
- Like soaking up the sun.

Which is why I get quite angsty/upset/grumpy/grungy when its Cloudy.


The picture above is an exmpl of what LosAngeles isnt nd shouldnt b like.

Maybe its ok 4 Chicago 2 b completely Cloudy.
Maybe its ok 4 NorCal/SanFran 2 b completely Cloudy. Mostly bcuz its just not as nice as SoCal. Couldnt resist stirring up some drama with this lil antiNorCal commnt.
Maybe its ok 4 Manchester, UK 2 b completely Cloudy.
Maybe its ok 4 Syracuse, NY 2 b completely Cloudy.

But its rly not ok 4 L.A. 2 b completely Cloud-covered.
As Mr. G once said in his self-titled musical production, "It's just not right."

Cuz it brings us Angelenos down.
It makes w'all unable 2 do the L.A.-like things that we usually like 2 do.
Just makes us feel angsty nd pissy.
Want 2 call upon the 1979 song/album by the.Electric.Light.Orchestra. 2 relay my message 2 the Clouds that currently hang over the city of LosAngeles: "Dont Bring Me Down".


h8 2 sound like a spoiled brat.
h8 2 nag since most of u's all have 2 deal with cloudyness a lot.
But srsly.
U dont go 2 Rome nd expect 2 eat shitty food.
U dont travel 2 MexicoCity nd expect 2 not have ur lungs severely affected.
U dont move 2 Chechnya nd expect 2 not b kidnapped.
Nd u dont relocate 2 LosAngeles nd expect 2 deal with Overcast Cloud-filled days like 2day.

This whole lack-of-abundant-sunshine thing makes me think of an AltBand with a truly epic name that i only recently found.
Altho theyve been around 4 the last few yrs, theyre starting 2 get a lil more exposure in the mp3Blogosphere.
The name of the IndieQuartet MusicalGrouping is I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness.
So enjoy this lil song of theirs, wonderfully titled "Your Worst is the Best".


I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness - "Your Worst is the Best"

I h8 u bitchtastic Darkness,
José

Places 2 Flee 2, 2 Make Life A Lil Easier

Lately I've been trying 2 cum up with solutions on How 2 Better Improve My Current Life.
Bcuz there are so many diffrnt stressors currently thawing away at ur/my life.

Thanx 2 exams/papers/reports/deadlines/taxes/foreclosure warnings/losing my malpractice insurance/etc., life is just not an easy thing 2 do right now.

Nd because there r so many things currently affecting us all, a lot of the ppl I know have resorted 2 doing pretty reckless things in order 2 escape from their current states of stress.
- 1 frnd of mine recently spent an entire 24 hrs in the top floor of the library without evr taking a break 4 food, water, the bathroom, etc.
- Anothr human I know decided 2 OverDose on Adderall the night b4 their big exam in order 2 "focus better". Still not sure how this turned out, the human hasnt been able 2 speak since then.
- A bunch of bros that live in my apartment recently decided 2 "fk the economy" nd their morals nd unloaded all of their cash in Vegas. Rumor has it that they'll b moving out next week bcuz they cant afford the rent anymore.
- Accordingly, my bff's mom just started doing Shrooms 4 the first time.

But srsly. I dont want 2 OverDose on Drugs nd die. Ok maybe a lil bit.
But overall, I've been looking 2 find a real solution 2 Improve my Life.

So far I've tried a few things here nd there:
- I tried writing a novel based on my real life. But then I realized that the plot was too graphic 4 mainstream audiences nd the character development was horrendous.
- I tried bcuming addicted 2 painkillers. But Vicaden got rly expensive/my next-door neighbor stopped making my favorite homemade Advil-Morphene-Penecillin mash-up drug cocktails.
- I had my girlfrnd's mom plan my funeral. We got in a fight over the flower arrangement nd the fact that I promised an illicit lover of mine that she could b the go-go dancer at my funeral.

But sadly, none of these things rly helped 2 improve my life. In fact, in most cases, it just made my life a lil worse.

Howevr, I have good news.
I've finally figured out the 1 thing I need 2 do 2 Improve my Everyday Life:
Run Away.

That's right.
Running Away would improve my life so very much.
I wouldnt have 2 deal with the ppl who i h8 around me.
I wouldnt have 2 pay the rent evry month.
I wouldnt have 2 have ppl b aware of where I am at all times.
I would b more-or-less free.

Yes, I'd b poor. But i'd find some easy most-likely-illegal job somewhere.
Yes, I'd have no place 2 live. But there's a lot of nice basements all over the wrld.
Nd CouchSurfing is so "in" right now.

So now I'm trying 2 figure out where I want 2 Run Away to...
I've narrowed it down 2 a few places.
- Any of the beaches near L.A... Yeah, im sure it would b easier 2 track me down if I stayed nearby, but i rly do love SouthrnCalifornia nd would love 2 be near the beach. Nd it would make it a lot easier 2 bring all my lil personal belongings.


- Miami, Florida, USofA.
Ive been there b4. Nd I usually rly like it, altho I get quickly fed up with the extreme stereotypes that live there aka SketchCubans, FlamingGays, ElderlyJews.
But on the same lines as the L.A. beaches, I love the ocean, nd im sure I would meet some rly frndly ppl aka Models who would take me under their wing, feed me well, nd I could get in2 some pretty bangin parties with them.
xx More posts written about Miami located here: http://lanouveau.blogspot.com/search/label/Miami lolz xx


- Grozny, Chechnya: The capitol city of the best lil unrecognized-country in the wrld.
Home 2 TwoHundredThousand of the wrld's best lil impoverished hipsters, its a city that has a lot of potential. So what if there's a lot of terrorism, corruption, tensions with Russia, nd kidnappings? It's still a great place 2 raise a family, get a job, nd above all, run away 2.

I'm pretty sure around this time of yr, plus with the wrld economy in shambles, that there r some great vacation deals 2 Chechnya. But act soon while the country still remains!


Have any othr places u think I should/could Run Away 2?
Want 2 hear ur Ideas. Lolfestivus.

This bitch just wants 2 Run Away 4 the Day,
José

NouveauMusic Takes U On A Trip 2 Scandinavia!

Sometimes, good music surprisingly cums from America.

Most times, good music understandably cums from France/Paris.

But right now, I've fallen back in love with some of the music of Scandinavia.
Sometimes bcuz of the EnglishSpeaking UnitedStates/UK/Aussie-centric wrld that we live in, it bcums easy 2 forget about the large contribution 2 our music&culture that cums from Scandinavia.


Historically, uve obviously got ABBA from Sweden.
Love/h8/miss u ABBA. Srsly, "Knowing Me Knowing U" is 1 of my lyfe's greatest anthems.

Still undecided on how I feel about Sweden.
Visited once; it was the middle of wintr, it was rly rly cold, nd I was there with the biggest collection of CuntyMoms evr. h8 u TeenTourGroups.


Wondring if i should revisit Sweden again.
Wonder if any1 remembrs me in Stockholm.
Hoping that some of the kids I met from Uppsala let me crash in their dorms if i visit.
Thinking about taking a semester abroad at Uppsala University. Heard that the Bro who invited KaZaA nd Skype went 2 Uppsala U.
Hoping that they have a lot of lil Swedish hipsters there.

But lets move 2 the present.
From that country i visited that 1 time aka Sweden, uve got the incredible José González whose Nick Drake cover alongside The Books was recently blogged here.

From a beautiful nd debatably Scandinavian nation call'd Iceland cums the incredible Sigur Rós, probably the most famous group 2 evr cum from Iceland.
If u dont know Sigur Rós, then ur legitimately missing out on 1 of Earth's greatest musical acts.
Basically, IncredibleInstrumentals+ElectronicSounds+InsanelyHallowingVocals = Sigur Rós.

Their most notable song, nd 1 of their most beautiful, "Hoppipolla", is currently being featured in a new trailer 4 the upcuming IMAXmovie 'Earth' based on the TVseries 'Planet Earth'.
Movie.Trailer.is.Here:


Bcuz L.A. Nouveau Loves U, here's the full song 4 ur listening pleasure:

Sigur Rós - Hoppipolla

1 More Scandinavian wonder 4 u's all, originating from Norway, is Röyksopp, a rly legit electronic duo that has been around since the late 90's.
The ElectroDuo Bros made their biggest dent in 2005 with their lil album 'Melody A.M.' nd will most likely expand their awesomeness this yr with their upcoming album 'Junior'.

Love this AlbumCover.
When I someday have an AltElectronic solo band, I want my first album's AlbumArt 2 look something like this.

Nd when I someday have this AltElectronic solo band, which I plan on naming The EmphyseMamas, I want 2 create a song that's as legit/electroFun/Happy! as the first single from 'Junior': "Happy Up Here".

I ask u now 2 please enjoy "Happy Up Here" by Röyksopp.

Röyksopp - Happy Up Here

Hoping u bitches enjoyed this lil Cultural excursion 2 Scandinavia,
José

Just Want U 2 Understand Me, K?

A great quality aka Epic Post is the best.
But what's sometimes even bettr than an Epic Post itself are Epic Commnts that awesome ppl leave on posts.

Nd I'd like 2 share a recent comment left on a post published right b4 the NewYr.
On Twelve/ThirtyOne/0h-8, use-r-name RRR commented with the following.
First he/she/it wrote:
"p0st m0re NewsCntr, love how it feels like "deep socio-political commentary". only reason why i read LANouveau."

This is good 2 know, nd the NewsCntr is something u will c a lot more of in the 2kNines.

But the real greatness of his/hur/itz comment was the following:
"biggest question yall: why is the BlogTitle frenchish and the AuthorName spanish? just want 2 warn u this is a question u will face when ur blog becomes read in more than four states. could be a chance for u 2 answer w/ something
a) witty
b) clever
c) sarcastic
d) indicative of ur PersonalBrand
e) choose.your.own.response."

Thus I'd like 2 address this question that I have yet 2 answer.
Nd in answering the question, i'm gonna go with options b, d, e, nd a little bit of a&c.

So here's the deal.
The name of this blog is Frenchish.
The AuthorName is Spanishh.
The posts r written in English, or some sort of awk//futureistic//txty//bitchy AltEnglish.

Nd this is bcuz L.A. Nouveau, written by José in the AltEnglish language, is an embodyment of all cultures//species//locales//wrlds.
Evry1 is part of this blog in their own special way.

Whethr u read it religiously, have written posts 4 it, comment on it, or merely glance at it ever so often, dont click any of the links, dont dwnload any of the music, nd basically just take this shit 4 granted, ur still a part of this Nouveau-ness.
Cuz Nouveau=New.
Nd José=U.

As I so often love 2 say:
I is u nd u is me nd 2gether, we are yall.




Nd although none of the above was rly big news, I'm officially declaring this post part of the NewsCntr, just because A. ppl clearly want more, nd second of all, IDK what the fk is wrong with the website fileden, but basically all the music that you know nd love on this blog is temporarily not working.
If this isn't automatically fixed by the morning, I will launch a war on Fileden.com. Swear2Allah I will.

Thus, I feel that by informing u of the mp3 situation, I have delivered u some nuze/news.

P.S. btw in response 2 the comment by RRR that only 4 states read this blog:
4 ur Info 34 of the 50 U-S states read L.A. Nouveau.
Nd even bettr, 33 countries around the wrld read L.A. Nouveau.

Necessary shoutouts 2 theUK, Canada, Germ'ny nd PoPoland nd Australia, the countries that read L.A. Nouveau most bsides the USofA.
\\\\ Holler at yall. \\\\



Bitches H8 When The Interweb Fails,
José

Ur Nouveau TravelAgency has Arrived.

Getaways r the best.
Now don't get me wrong, love L.A.
I am ridiculously in love with the dirty bullsht that is LosAngeles,California.

But sometimes its nice 2 get away from it all.
2 get away from the drama.
2 get away from the erratic nd problematic evryday dealings of life.
2 get away from the CuntyMoms/SlutBags/DirtDevils/BroHoHoes.

As we all (w'all?) know, traveling around the holiday season is quite the adventure.
But regardless, aftr a yr full of more change, life changes nd transitions than evr b4, i think i, along with all u's, deserve a much needed break.

Now theres a lot of places where u/I/we/ could go.
W'all r so lucky that America is such a big country.
So many exciting places 2 go.

Now I know u could b thinking that ur ideal getaway is not necessarily in the USofA.
Maybe its Italy, maybe its Jakarta, maybe its some r&r in the Uzbek.
But right now, my fellow cuntrymen/cuntymen, if ur gonna take some LongWkndGetaway, u rly oughta do it in this bitch of a country.

Cuz America needs ur dollers.
Ur dough.
Ur pocketchange.
Ur earnings from the gold earrings u sold back to that GetRichQuik infomercial.

Cuz I have some big nuze 2 share with u.
We're in an economic crisis.

I know, ur freaking out, ur shocked, u just pissed urself nd now ur frnds r staring at the puddle undr ur feet.
But its srsly true, ur frnd UnkleSam is going thru some super rough times right now.
Nd he's looking 4 some monetary help.
Basically, in this little situation, u in college = UnkleSam nd ur parents = u. Get that?

R my metaphors too abstract for u's?

I'll try 2 tone that shit down. My b. (An ethnic frnd taught me this expression 2day, did i use it correctly?)

Back 2 the Big News. The economic crisis thing.
Instead of hopping off 2 the South Sandwich Islands, W'all gotta stay in the US this yr.
It's just the responsible feasable thing 2 do. As Friendly Fires nd Au Revior Simone say, "Someday we're gonna live in Paris, I promise, I'm on it, when I'm bringing in the money, I promise, I'm on it." But right now, it's just not a good time.
I promise. Someday. Maybe in 2Zro10. Lets hope we can.

But 4 now, its time to settle 4 somewhere in the good ol' United St8s.
Here r some suggestions based on my generalizations of diffrnt kinds of Americans.

- 4 the NeoLibrals: Portland, Oregon.
Totally urban but totally green, totally libral, totally funky fun, totally upbeat, totally chilly, totally Totttallly.

- 4 the Cumplete Hippy: SanFrancisco nd Berkeley, California.
Weed. Head shops. Chinatown. More weed. Alkatraz. Hemp evrything. Hemp wallets, hemp coats, hemp cars, hemp guns. Gotta love that shit.

- 4 the Pop Culture Circa 2008 Lover: Wasila, Alaska.
See the town that started it all. H8 her/miss hr/h8 her. Waiting 4 her talk show career. I will so watch the 1st episode of that.

- 4 the SouthernCharm-needy: Charleston, South Carolina.
In all seriousness, this city is great. Went 2 yrs ago nd would love 2 go back. Total southrn hospitality meets hip normal urban city meets confederate history. It really doesn't get much better.

- 4 the ColdHeartedBitch: Camden, New Jersey.
This will immediately straighten u up. Plus the Aquarium is a gr8 place 2 bring the kids. Nd it has a nice view of the Philly pollution, drug dealings nd gang wars.

Hope that was helpful.
Trying 2 help out this country of ours.
Trying 2 supply u with the most current news that affects ur life.

Which brings me LastButNotLeast 2 reveal a new L.A. Nouveau PostTheme:


Looking 2 put the NewsCntr in full swing in this upcoming NewYr. So Get Excited. !.

Thinking of adding a new travel advice/recreational advice/life advice in 2ZroZro9.

Bitch City,
José

Uhh Super Sexy Raunchy (USSR)

Svetlana.
U r my lov-r.

To all the Svetty grls out there, I love u.

To all the grls who are svetty and don’t know that ur a total Svetlana, no worries, u r a total Svetlana.
To evryone that doesn’t even know what a Svetlana is, stop being so ignorant.
Altho my bestfrnd SrhKmg said that i shouldnt explain what a Svetlana is to all y’all who don’t already know, I feel that it’s one of those things that u gotta understand in order to be an informed wrld citizen / reader of LAnvo.

So who is a Svetlana?
If u've never met anyone named Svetlana, then i'm truly sorry, cuz grls named Svet r usually wonderful people.

It's that BLONDE
It's that EASTRN EURO
It's that SLUTTY ACCNT
It's that SKNNY TALL MODEL BOD
It's that EUROTRSH AURA
It's SVETLANA.















Nd whether she's Miss Russia, hot bmbshll model, former gymnast, minimum wage worker at ur rich friends' country club, or ur apartment neighbor who u always see cuming home from a club at 3 am...
she's a SVETTY.
Nd she is the future of feminism.

So i'm looking for a Svet in my life right now.
Do u know any Svets/Svettys/Svetlana's?
(Again, their name doesn't have to actually be Svetlana, altho that wud be a huge plus)
By now i hope u understnd the lifestyle/the look/THAT GRRRRL that i'm talkin about/looking for.
If u know one, send me a pic of her.
Even if u Google Image a Svetlana-looking girl, even if u find one on ur facebook and r totally overcum by her Svetty-ness, SND THAT SHIT TO ME.
CLICK HERE 2 EMAIL ME.
or snd it as a Commnt below.

Get on it.

P.S. I am such a tease. I'm sry.
I know u want more M83. I know u do. I know ur craving to hear more of their fantastically killr songs like u crave a new car / boyfrnd / cellfone / tax rebate. Nd I promise, repeat, promise, I'll post it latr.

Time to grab lnch with N.D.

Be good, be bold, be bitch,
José