There's Only 3 Kinds of Thank U's Out There

This usually isnt the "designated time of yr" 2 say Thank U for stuff.

Generally mainstream society tells us that we should start being cognizant of the things we should start 2 b thankful 4 right as Halloween ends nd as we are propelled in2 the consumer "HolidaySeason" til we reach an eventful climax @ ThanksgivingDinner where evry1 is obliged 2 share their most meaningful "I M Thankful 4" 's until evry1 just feels bad 4 how much they have.

These feelings of Thnx r expected 2 continue throughout the rest of the December month until u r completely surrounded by gifts/gift-giving nd thus the only thing 2 b thankful 4 is that ur getting that new Wii2.0 4 Xmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Choose.ur.own.LooselyAffiliated with Religion.December-based.holiday

It thus seems like midApril is just not even remotely a designated time 2 "b thankful". But at a time where excellent Summer Jams r beginning 2 leak via mp3 Blogs, the weather is getting warmer 4 those of us not lucky enough 2 live in LosAngeles, California, school nd other related academic endeavors r coming 2 an end, nd the MusicFestival Season has just kicked off with the best music festy in the country (Coachella), theres a surprising amount 2 b thankful 4.

Nd so I want 2 personally share a story of Thanx on this random April day that may or may not be the 23rd day of the Month.

While there r lots of things Im happy 2 b thankful 4,

There's only 3 things I want 2 specifically call upon. (similarly 2 the # of kinds of fish)

Nd here they are:

1. Crystalmeth. Thank u Meth 4 being the gateway drug of choice 4 so many hipsters/gays/Latvians around the world.

Thank u 4 supplying some hilarious moments in the lives of many of my frnds.

Thank u 4 being the 1 drug thats still funny 2 joke about, bcuz lord knows that coke jokes are so last yr.

2. AustinPryfogle. Thank u NorCarolina-based grrrl named AustinPryfogle 4 being courageous, strong, and above all, absolutely amazing at life.

Thank u 4 giving us so many wonderful stories 2 share at the dinner table.

Thank u 4 not letting fear dictate ur life, nd instead, letting ur own spirit guide u.

Nd thank u 4 getting me involved in the legal system.

Nd finally,

3. Black Moth Super Rainbow. Thank u 4 FINALLY leaking a few tracks from ur upcoming album 'Eating Us'. Since that late-January day when the Sampler track was first released, I knew this album would b amazing, but was horrified nd dismayed 2 realize that I wouldnt get to hear any of it until months in advanced. But now, the time has cum 4 a few tracks 2 be leaked over the internet.

Thank u 4 not getting all leak-prevention-crazy like some artists do.

Thank u 4 making albums that Im actually going 2 buy, nd not just on iTunes, but on Vinyl, bcuz thats how epic this album will be.

Thank u 4 being MorganArons-esque "Originals" by making completely original-sounding music that fills my head with wonders nd excitement nd intrigue. (Read more L.A. Nouveau posting about Being an Original via MorganArons here: http://lanouveau.blogspot.com/2009/01/hipsters-intense-discussion-on.html)

So if ur willing 2 hear a leaked track from the new album, enjoy 1 here.

This is the lead single, called "Born On A Day the Sun Didn't Rise".

Its a bit more intense than ur average trip-balls Black Moth song, but its undeniably 1 of their best songs yet.

Enjoy it here:

Black Moth Super Rainbow - Born On A Day the Sun Didn't Rise

Bitching with Thnx,

José ≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠

P.S that above was a brandnew end-of-the-post distinguisher.

Sry CyberBullies, Im Just Not Offended

Dont know about u, but not much offend me these days.
Used 2 b a lot more Offend-able.
Back in the days of LowSelfEsteem/Hypochondria/Menopause, used 2 b kinda sensitive 2 the harshness of the wrld.
Used 2 feel a lil hated on.
Used 2 feel kinda targeted.
Used 2 feel uncomfortable when ppl would do/talk about morally offensive things.

Remembering now back when I got rly upset when ppl thought it was funny when MichaelJackson dangled his babyrobot ovr the hotel balcony. Used 2 say things like,
"Thats a child right there!" or "U should care 4 its life" or "Look at the pain in Jacko's eyes" etc.
Now I look at the paparazzipics nd cant help but laugh, thinking of how much fun it mustve been 4 that lil Baby 2 get all that Media attention nd for Jacko 2 get all that publicity.
In the end it rly was a good call... plus the Baby didnt die or anything, so, guess thats a plus.


So nowadays I dont rly get offended by much.
Maybe its cuz ive been exposed 2 so much that im no longer freaked out enough by anything.
Maybe if I didnt watch my fave SoapOpera star get mauled to death by a crowd of protestors when I was 12yrsold in Long Beach, CA, I'd b more easily offend-able.
Maybe if I didnt write an angsty hipster blog, I would care more when I offend othr ppl. [Still think that there r oppresive things about GreekLife at colleges that remind me of Nazism, sry Kansel]

Feel like our lil society is splitting in2 a dichotomy btween 2 diffrent types of ppl:
Ppl who nevr get offended, nd usually find Offensive things funny. &
Ppl who get offended over evrything, nd have a higher moral standard.

I am the 1st exmpl.
As are most of my closest frnds.
Like the 1 who jokes around with me about the funny man's accent at the end of HotelRwanda.
Like the 1 who gave a speech at my MiddleSchool graduation about how her personal hero in life is Terri Schiavo.
Like the 1 who threw out all her underwear cuz she was sick of wearing them a few summrs ago.
Like the 1 who did modeling nd took cute pixx of herself being crucified 4 a new "Just Say No 2 Meth" campaign.

Like the 1s who at age 13 introduced me 2 the musical wonder that is Peaches.
A crazy bitch grrrl whose real name is Merrill Beth Nisker, who's bff's with Feist, whose music is as edgy nd offensive as anything my frnds would do.
U may have heard her most notorious song "Fuck The Pain Away" b4.
This may have been the song my frnds nd I danced 2 in the hallways in eighthGrade.
So let me share with u now some more shittastic tunes from her.
This is a lil jam called "Boys Wanna Be Her". The title should tell u enough. U know Id want 2.


[photo cred via Rollo&Grady]

Peaches - Boys Wanna Be Her

Getting down 2 the Bitch sounds of Offensiveness,
José

Stand Up 4 Ur Emotions, 4 Uffie, 4 CoExistance

The following post is about our feelings. Not just mine/not just urs/not just u's all's.
Our feelings. All 2gether now. As my frnd N.D. would quote from 30Rock: "Emotions..."
So... lets talk about our "emotions".

Sometimes we're happy.
Like when we find out that the boss we h8 is being deported back 2 the Philippines, or when we find out there's an amazing buy 1 get 1 free sale on Vermouth at ur local Food4Less.

Sometimes we're sad.
Like when we realize that we're going nowhere fast in this silly lil un-Alt life we're living, or when we figure out that our best frnd put up an ad on Craigslist 4 a new bestie.

Sometimes, we're frustrated.
Like when we save that 20-page report on the predicted economic woes of the 2040's until the night b4 its due, or when we learn that the person we're hoping 2 hook up with 2morrow night refuses 2 kiss until marriage.

Sometimes, we're exctied.
Like when we find out that CSS is cuming back 2 town 4 anothr show with Natalie Portman's Shaved Head, or when we realize that our secret lovr from home is coming out 2 california 4 SpringBreak 2kNine.

Sometimes, we're scared.
Like when we discover that we're being followed on the streets by a creepy guy singing Strawberry Fields 4Ever, or when we watch 2 many End.Of.The.Wrld/2012 specials on TheLearningChannel/DiscovryChannel/LackOfHistryChannel.

Sometimes, we're drunk.
Like when we forget 2 moderate ourselves nd not take booze from buckets at that Black&White-RobertRodriguez-Directed Film-themed party at a designated GLBT apartmnt complex, or when we buy five bottles of Vermouth 2 share with our frnds but wind up enjoying it all 4 ourselves.

Nd sometimes, we're angry.
Like when we find out that Sparks, evry1's favey alcoholic+energy drink, was being pulled off the market bcuz of stupid lawsuits about health risks, or when we borrowd our frnd's camera one time nd then it got stolen at a football game but then we paid 4 her 2 get a new 1 anywayz.
OR... when Hipsterrunoff bashes our fave trashy AltCelebs.
Like what happened 2day.
When aftr a week of somewhat ignoring Carles (sry dudeski), I decided 2 go back on HRO just 2 see what he was up 2, u know.

So it should come as no surprise that I was initially rly happy 2 see a Post written about the 1 nd only UFFIE.
But aftr admiring the naked photo of her being graffiti'd on by her gayBoyfrnd, Carles, the self-acclaimed writer of the Hipster Runoff blog, contined with a bullshit rant about how he doesnt want 2 associate himself with Uffie/Justice/EdBangerRecords artists anymore because he is ready 2 "Grow Up" nd move on 2 more quality artists.
Read the BlogPost 4 urself by clicking here.

So u can imagine how this made me feel.
Nd thus, there was only 1 thing I could do: Comment nd provide a rebuttal.
Gonna share it with u's all here now:

"Dear Carles,
h8 u bcuz of this post.
Srsly.
U write:
'In 2k9, now that we are closer to bringing authentic art/artists to the mainstream, I will no longer honor memes like this.'
Mainstream doesnt = authntic.
Nd nor should it.
What separates me from the next mothrfker is that I have my authentic altLoves.

Nd srsly, the alt community is its own community just like the mainstream community.
We both have our legit artists [FleetFoxes + Coldplay]
We both have our dance electro shit [Cut Copy + Lady Gaga]
We both have our “deep” singr/songwritrs [Sigur Ros + Feist]
We both have our potential-CrossOver DJs [Steve Aoki + DJ AM]

Nd We both have our trashy loves [UFFIE + Britney Spears]

Its not about “growing up”
Its about accepting diffrnt types of ppl.
Its about having diffrnt groups within the alt music community.
Its about CoExistance yall.
Need u 2 stop being 2 good / 2 elitist, Carles."

Hope u agreed with that lil response.
Nd now, I'm asking u a favor.
It wont take much time/effort/energy, I promise.

But its time 2 take a stand. Its time 2 defend the trashy celebs that u love.


Its time 2 not let injustice go down on this bitch right here.

So... Im asking u 2 leave a reply comment after my comment on HRO.
All u have 2 write is "Agreed", or u can write something more.
But leave a reply 2 my Comment.
Here's a link 2 where I commented. Just hit reply aftr my comment.
Just want Carles 2 see how ppl r really feeling.

Thnx 4 taking the time 2 defend ur bitch lovers,
José

Report: Teens Channel Their Teen Angst Into Txt Msgs

Being a teen is the worst/best/worstworstworst thing evr.
U know u loved/h8ed/HATE(currently)/still hate/continue to love/hated-every-minute-of ur teenage life.

But never in my life have I heard someone articulate what it means to feel TeenAngst better than what im about 2 share with u.
Lemme give u some contxt.
I was creeping thru my frnds cellphone last night nd browsing some of her txt msg's when I came across a convo between her nd 1 of her younger frnds who needed 2 talk.
When she asked him, "what's wrong?", this was his incredible all-written-in-one-single-txt-msg response: (this is a 100% authntic txt msg, didnt make this 1 up, swear2Jesus *the only thing edited is the bold/italics/color usage)

"idk evrything othr ppls problems my probs wat i can do to be stronger 4 other people who my real friends are wat i wanna do with my life whether or not its worth staying in (this town) how i need an adventure when should i start writing my book social status girls friends who r girls whether or not it'd be fun to run away and liv another life somewhere how badly i rlllllllllllyyy want it to snow so that i can go snowboarding which is like one of the 4 things tht i can just like naturally do which always makes u feel better trust issues need 4 a new hobby grades skul drugs alcohol sex more girls expectations letting ppl down betrayal wat i wanna do this weekend who my friends are y is my family so weird possibly moving 4 my dads new job going to boarding skul moving from my high skul sports more trust issues how im already excited beyond all belief 4 this summer how im a slacker but i could probably b rlly smart true beauty keeping connections with old friends while keeping new 1s feeling different from every1 else"

This is the most epic/rel8able/true/hilarious/sotrue/MySoCalledLyfe thing I've ever read.
I'm still amazed at how rel8able this txt rly is.
Nd how hipster esque it was written. Love txt lnguage. Nd when I say love, I mean h8. Save that shit 4 blogging yo.



But srsly. What angsty teen can't relate 2 the majority of these feelings?
What humans at any age can't relate 2 the majority of these feelings?

Out of all of them, I'd like 2 discuss the ones that were the most relevant 2 my TeenAngst life. (In case u didnt notice, they r in bold in the above quote):
- "idk everything" - the best opening statement ive ever heard. this is the embodyment of TeenAngst.
- "wat i wanna do with my life" - i still ask myself this question, as do we all (w'all)
- "when should i start writing my book" - ive tried so many times, it nevr gets finished, nevr evr. i need 2 take a month nd just finish that shit. i need some1 to do the illustrations tho. its a childrn's book. it's about a boy who hates his parents for not getting him a new guitar, but then they get in a car crash so he doesnt care anymore nd learns a gr8 life lesson.
- "who r girls" - again, i'm still asking this brilliant question. the best question of them all in my opinion.
- "need 4 a new hobby" - i tried rollersk8ing, i fell a lot. tried badminton, apparently u have 2 be an azn. tried lsd, got really tired. now im trying blogging. is this worthwhile? do u love this? more confused than ever.
- "expectations" - ppl wanted the world of me when i was a little teen tyke.
- "y is my family so weird" - just wanna b back in LA. holidays with the whole family is almost never a good idea. just looking for a non-existent normal family 2 take me.
- "how im a slacker but i could probably b rlly smart" - i shouldve stayed in school.
- "feeling different from evry1 else" - story of my teenangst/highschool/preskul life.

Now its ur turn.
Which of the ranted-about feelings expressed in the txt msg apply/applied most 2 u? Share with the wrld. Explore urself thru this crafty medium of expression.

Nd while u share, listen to some 'dont wry about ur awful past' motivational music provided by Sufjan Stevens. From The Avalanche (the Illinois-extras album), here's "Carlyle Lake".


Sufjan Stevens - Carlyle Lake

Waiting 2 get better insight into ur own TeenAngst life.

Txt Msg Bitching Is The Best,
José

It's the THIS BLOG IS LEGIT post.

NUZE FLASH:
Subliminal messages in music = Ridiculously IN.

Here's an example.
Britney's new album "Circus."
Track Six is a hot club thumpin' track called If U Seek Amy.
The basic gist of the song is that Brit is lookng for this chick Amy to go clubbing with, aftr-party with, maybe hook up with? (Could this be a Lindsay/SammyRonson thing goin' on?) I assume not. Since Brit didn't write it.
But regardless...

The chorus reads:
Love me, hate me, say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy.

These lyrics might be a little vague at first, but if ur like me, and u listen to the song for the seventeenth time, u pick up on an incredible subliminal oh-so-discreet message.
I'll write the lyrics again:
Love me, hate me, say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to F. U. C. K. me.


Britney Spears - If U Seek Amy

If u don't think this is musical mastery, then don't evr read LA nouveau again.
Nd don't even dare read HRO (hipster runoff) again.

Which brings me to share with u a great little op-ed piece that I just read this morning courtesy of Pretty Much Amazing!, a pretty legit sumwhere-btween-mainstream-nd-alt mp3 blog that is usually pretty dead-on. I'll share the introduction to this piece with u, nd u can will read the rest:
There are typically two types of music blogs around in this here blogosphere – those that tell you what they like and those that tell you what you should like. And then there’s Hipster Runoff (aka hipsterrunoff/HRO/OMGZHRO/Carles). Authored by “Carles”, The Runoff alternates between hating on the things you like and hating on the things you don’t like, leaving an ambiguously nonexistent center – the inability to be authentically ‘alt’.

READ THE REST by clickng here

I'd be lying if i said that I wasn't at least a bit inspired by evry HRO blog post, just cuz they're all so raw/hawt/fking honest/bullsht/use-no-vowels.
But while some may see this as exposing a dark unoriginality in LA nouveau, I see it quite the opposite. Bcuz while I might idolize the idea of HRO nd incoporate some of its wondrs into my own blog, my influences cum from all over the blogosphere/hemisphere/univrse.

Whethr I am influenced by a hawt track I find on HypeMachine
Whethr I am puzzled by the half-naked man walking down Figueroa Ave
Whethr I am terrified by the eerie sun settng into the smog instead of the horizon
Whethr I am excited by some sexcellent hipster artist playing a gig at the Music Box / Fonda
No matter... cuz this is expression. So fking enjoy it.
Nd this blog isn't ur same old dried-up washed-up slutted-up prostitotted-up "personal" xanga-esque bullshit.

This is ENTERTAINMNT + INFORMNG + ANGST-RIDDEN + NeoLosAngeles.

So to all the South Bitches, othr bitches, dark rappers, kidnappers, LOLcats, nd any othr haters/confused citizens,
u can take yo face nd throw it out the window.

Good night nd don't let the dream be bitchd away,
José

Almost Post-Thnkswknd Thoughts

The wknd is almost over.
Nd by weekend, I mean the nine days that I've been away from LA.
So I guess wknd isn't really the right word to describe this period of time.
But what else 2 call it?
Thnxgvng Break? Break from What? I liked life before, I didn't need a break... Okay so maybe I did, but this sure didn't feel like a Break.
Thnxgvng Vacation? Psh. That's a definite No. A vacation is usually defined as a time apart from ur stressful miserable life spent in a location that u want to visit and enjoy, not the opposite.
Thnxgvng Pause? Now that just doesn't even make sense.

Regardless of what u want to call these last nine days spent back in the Northeast in the town I grew up in, I have gained some new insight into my life nd the lives of others during this _____ (insert desired name for time spent "back home").
Nd out of all the things I've learned, the most pivotal one is the following:

I RUV LA.
I fking ruv it. Nd by ruv, I clearly mean LOVE.
I love LA so much, I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.
But srsly, there's a lot of messed up bullsht things about LA.
The traffic sucks.
The pollution + smog sucks.
The lack of public transportation sucks.
The potential for wildfires + mega earthquakes sucks.

But there's something about that warm sun, those palm trees, nd that HipsterChic totally pitted LA lifestyle that always put a smile on my face.


Hate New York City, it's cold and it's damp
And all the people dressed like monkeys uptight bitches
Let's leave Chicago to the Eskimos, that town's a little bit too rugged fking freezng
For you and me, babe

Rollin' down Imperial Highway with a big nasty (?) redhead at my side
Santa Ana winds blowin' hot from the north nd we was born to ride
Roll down the window, put down the top, crank up the Beach Boys MGMT,
Baby don't let the hipster music stop, we're gonna ride it 'til we just can't ride it no more
From the South Bay to the Valley, From the West Side to the East Side
Everybody's very happy, 'Cause the sun is shining all the time
Looks like anothr perfct day
I love L.A. (We ruv it!)
I love L.A. (We ruv it!)

But yet, I don't return for anothr two days... FK MY LIFE.

Don't get me wrong back there with that video though, I do love New York.
Like, extremely. It's been pretty much the only rewarding thing about being home so far.
And at some point in my life, I would love to live in the City that Never Sleeps
Take the subway to work evry morning
Becum a total Webster Hall rat
Live nd Breathe Hipster Chic in Williamsburg, Brklyn.

Nd that time will cum.
But 4 now, LA is where I gotta be.
Now if only I could actually be there...

Biznatch 4 evr,
José

FK BRKELEYndNorCal

I am offish SoCal official.  

How do i know?  I'll tell you:

Cuz I hate NorCalerz.  Like, legit do not like them.  As in losers from Northern California. I'm probably about to lose like half the viewers of this blog by saying this, but srsly, NorCalerz are FKing annying.  Now there are the exceptions, aka the cannabis connoisseurs and SanFran hippies who are super legit.  But all of the following actions / interests make NorCalerz really stabable:

- HYPHY.  is.  pathetic.  like no othr.  its shitty rap, shitty beats, shitty 'cohol.  and the WORST WORST VüRST is the WHITE KIDS who thnk they fking rock bcuz they fking love HYPHY.  No!  It's a NO!

- "Hella." = Hella UNcool.   No one, and when i say no one, i mean NO ONE outside of the BAY AREUHH say Hella.  So never say it again.

- U think ur peaceful, liberal, and cool SOLELY bcuz ur from NorCal.  LIES, LIES and more vomit-teeming LIES.  example: Marin County.

- The fact that NorCalerz go to the University of SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA and yet bitch about SoCal.  WHY THE FCK WOULD U CUM HERE IF U R GONNA BITCH ABOUT SOCAL!?!?!

- The fact that there are a shit ton of Nor Calerz here right now for the Berkeley game and the fact that they think they're all better than everyone here yet they all look just as blonde, fake, and chemically-processed as all of the dmbhoes from LA.

Beat the Bears.

Fight the Fk on.  Srsly.  Fight the motherfk on.  As in, find out where the nearest San Mateo-dwelling kid lives, knock on his/her door, ask if he/she wants to die, and then fight him/her in an epic battle that has to ultimately be broken up by the LAPD.

P.S. if u havent checked out the song i posted in the post before this, then ur dumb.  so check it the msssk out.

I'll link this shit later.  It's time for ftball.

SOCal BAAAAAAHHHTCH,

José