The Minimal Value of Xmas, Thnx Elmo

It’s cuming.
It’s about 2 b here.
It’s so close.
Xmas. Its been here 4 months, but the culmination of all the PostModernConsumerism of the last months finally cums down 2 this 1 day.
Xmas Day.
This day’s been going on for a little while now, but never has it been bigger/bolder/grander/spicier than it has been 4 the last half centry or so.
Xmas is, apparently, so in.
At least thats what the entire USofA anit-hipster culture tells me.
At least thats what my frnd’s SundaySchoolTeachrMom always told me.
At least thats what I thought I was supposed 2 think.

But now I’m an IndieThinkr.
My BrainChild is a whole new toddlr.


Nd I’ve begun 2 rethink the bullsht/crap/nonsense/disturbia that I put up with.

Nd bcuz of the EconomicCrisis thats sweeping the nation/wrld/galaxy, im not asking 4 any presents this yr. Nd im not sending any either.
I’m 2 scared that my apartment/dorm will foreclose.

But Back 2 Xmas.
As WalMart SuperCenter MegaSales nd traffic madness overflows all mall-areas in the nation,
As the only profitable music genre in the mnth of Decmbr remains 2 b crap/overproduced/hilar xmas music,
As my cousins who live in Gardena/WestCompton waste thousands of dollars nd resources in electricity by putting out their singing animatronic dancing light-up Santa along with onemillion othr lights,

I grow 2 feel less nd less connected 2 this HolyDay.

Nd honestly, the music generally just pisses me off.
But there’s a few great tracks that make my Xmas/Kwanza/’Nukkah pretty cumplete.
I will share 1 of them with u now.

Amazing xmas track numbr 1 is from The Weepies.
While they've had 2 great albums since their 2k4 debut Happiness, their beluvd xmas song cums from this first album. It's called "All That I Want".
Some of my/ur/his/her fave lyrics:

And when the night is falling/Down the sky at midnight/Another year is stalling/Far away a good bye, good night


The Weepies - "All That I Want"

Enjoy nd b greatful that u got this wondrful song nd not a lump of coal/anothr angsty electro song 4 once.
Nevr 4get babyTickleMeElmo.

Merry happy yall bitches,
José

Jeezy Knew What He Wuz Doing

Hi, My name is José and I'm not an alcoholic.

Surprising, right? I know, it's crazy! How can that be possible? I mean, I'm still technically in my younger years, I've been living in a college environmnt, I went to highschool. So shouldn't that automatically mean that I impulsively drink very often and can't manage to have a good time without it?

Well, I have nuze.

The answer is No. It doesn't mean that. At all. Not even a little.

Srsly.

Here's the truth:

Alcohol is the liquid of sinners.

So next time ur about to get totally tanked, think about this: WWJD? (what would Jesús drink?)
Here's the options I would guess:
- If he was just chillin at a social gathering, he'd be down for a Coke Zero, being happy 2 keep his figure lean, but not wantng to compromise that oversweet cola taste
- If he was looking for a good time, he'd roll with a Vodka Pom, my personal DOC (drank of choice), cuz he'd A. get that little buzz of alk and second of all, would b downing some supr-fine antioxidants to keep him healthy nd strong (which ironically wouldn't be that necessary in the end... thanks a lot, Romans)
BUT HERE'S THE DIFFRNCE: - If he was having a really bad day and needed to fking escape, he wudn't resort to gettng totally trashed. Cuz that's just irresponsible nd scary.
Here's what he would do instead:
Blaze.
Crunk.
Get roasted.
Hit the reefer.

Yes, America nd other Christian-majority nations of the wrld,
Jesus would have packed a bowl of some epic medical sht (he'd obviously have medical, cuz he wouldn't do any dealing and illegal buying), would have found the perfect outdoor spot to sit nd relax, and would have blazed the day/night away.

Nd in his time and day, he would've been totally respected 4 it.

Even Matty, Mark, Luke, and JohnnyBoy wud've surely hit up some Mary Jane with their pal JeezyC. Maybe they wud've even smoked their good ol' pal out once in a while.
They wud all be chillin and their BFF Peter wud say, "Yo JC, u've been a superb dude to us, let us smoke u out man."

So 4 all the HerbHaters, WeedWincers, nd MaryJaneMouthOffs out there, u can suck it nd take out the trash while the rest of SoCal nd NorCal hit up a bowl.

Baby, I've Touched Countless Hearts,
José