Get Creative With Your Intake/Alcoholism

Warning: Not trying 2 promote the "binge drinking culture" with this upcuming post. But, like, whatevr.

Now that thats out of the way, it seems like a good time in the yr 2 discuss the cleverly created pastime of 'consumption entertainment activities', aka 'drinking games'.
It is, after all, officially the bizarre lil month of March, a month full of holidays/experiences like St.PatricksDay where ur lil Irish frnds get 2 b all "proud" of their hungerstriken heritage so u can drink a lot.
The month of March is also usually home 2 SpringBreak, a common ritual that finds many collegeStudents using excessive amounts of booze/drugs/sex 2 have a good time in some warm sunny locale.

Nd while there r plenty of ways 2 drink nd places 2 do so, sometimes they bcum cliché nd frustrating when utilized 2 much.
- Like at a club.
U gotta love the club scene, but always having 2 throw down lots of cashmoney 4 cheapo lil drinks can get rly annoying.

- Like at a FratParty/BasementParty.
While these two party scenes r cumpletely diffrent, they r similar in some regards, like their overall sketchiness, the increased potential for unwanted sexual activities, the high possibility 4 hard drugs, nd in regards 2 drinking, where its all very excessive nd usually containing alcohol that ur not rly sure of.
Cuz even if its in a bottle u recognize, chances r that its been refilled with some kind of crap OsoNegro-style shit that will probably make u vom later, anothr key similarity between FratParties nd BasementParties [via the frequent vomiting of partyguests after they leave].

- Like with ur parents. Cuz nothing says "Our family is doing just fine" like taking shots of Jack Daniels. Especially when this is in conjunction with a death or an elderly some1's birthday.
But some would find it surprising 2 hear that this can bcum problematic after a while.
[Miss u N.D.]

So sometimes when all of these places/events/experiences get kind of tiring 2 always b partaking in drinking at, the best thing 2 do is gather up a few good frnds nd partake in 1 of those good ol drinking games.

Nd the best part is: There r so many diffrent Drinking Games 2 choose from.

- There's the Card-related Drinking Games.
Like the ones my college self loves 2 play.
Love u Kings.
Want 2 start playing Go Fish! as a drinking game more with my frnds/family.

- There's the Media-Interactions Drinking Games.
Which in itself there r many kinds of DrinkingGames too.

1 Exmpl: Playing a movie drinking game.
Nearly any movie will work. 1 my frnds recently did was a Drinking Game 4 "American Beauty".
Went a lil something like this:
Drink evry time...
1. Any1 does drugs.
2. Lester obsesses over Angela.
3. Ricky is seen videotaping anythng.
4. Lester argues with any1.
5. Lester is shown exercising.
6. Angela calls Ricky weird/freak/anything along those lines.



Anothr Media-Interaction Drinking Game exmpl: Watching a speech/the news.
If u decide 2 wake up 1 morning, flip on CNN nd take a shot of ur fave hard booze evry time they mention the Economy. Its a surefire way 2 4get the rest of ur day nd evrything that will unfold.

Thnx TinaFey 4 making this NewsInteraction DrinkingGame so popular via ur SarahPalin impressions. aka Taking a swag 4 evry use of the word "maverick".

Suggesting that u start making a Drinking Game out of ur reading of L.A. Nouveau.
Here r the rules:
Take a shot evry time u see the word "hipster", "Uffie", "mp3", "LosAngeles", or "Nouveau".
From here, get ready 2 enjoy a great hardly-remembered nite.

- Lastly, cant 4get the NothingButHornyPpl Drinking Games.
The exact games range in nature, nd r often the most creative nd metaphorical of the Drinking Games.
But the basic idea behind them is always the same: when ppl want 2 do sexual things, putting them on an entertaining path 2 do so via alcohol always creates 4 a memorable experience.

Want 2 hear about the NothingButHornyPpl Drinking Games that u like 2 play when ur in a group setting with ur peers.
Or any othr creative Drinking Games that u have found 2 b meaningful in ur life.
Want 2 create a Drinking Game Forum via This blog post.
So plz comment away.

Hoping bitches will implement the new L.A. Nouveau DrinkingGame,
José

Stop Feeling Untouched! nd Get Connected

There's a problm out there, so lets talk about.
Its an issue thats currently sweeping across the tweens of this nation.
But its something that I/u's/we all occasionally face.

Whats this grave issue I speak of?
No, its not the lack of medical insurance that millions of citizens dont have.

Its feeling Untouched.

Nd I'm sure u's nd I alike know the feeling well.
Its the feeling u get when u feel like u have no1 2 turn 2.
Its the feeling u get when u just want some1 to cuddle with/fornicate with/hug with.

There's this rly popular song out on the AirWaves right now thats called "Untouched" that talks all about this feeling.
This feeling u get when all rly u need is a lovr.
When all u need is a frnd 2 massage IcyHot all ovr u.
When all u want is 2 escape ur lyfe that is so lonely inside, so busy out there
When all u wanted is somebody who cares...
I seem 2 b slipping in2 anothr angsty untouched-themed song.
H8/miss u Michelle Branch.

So clearly bcuz of the rising popularity of this thriller-esque terrifying song, this must b a key issue in our lil society that we should all work 2 address.

I ask u now 2 cum 2gether, nd once again, as I've discussed previously at the beginning of this yr, u/I/we all need 2 "Give It Away" a lil more.
We need to give some of our Touch 2 the ppl who rly need it most.
...2 all the AltSluts aka desperate ladies,
...2 all the suicidal preskulers,
...2 all the sexually-closeted classmates who live in the building next 2 u 1 floor up from the lobby,
...2 all the truly good looking yet food-deprived frnds of urs/mine,
...2 all the blacked-out blipsters (no racial pun intended, i was referring 2 excessive alcohol intake, LOLzers)...
We need 2 try 2 give a lil bit of not only our Touch, but also our Time nd Availability 2 these stereotyped groups nd othrs who need it 2.

Which is why, as of Right Na (thnx Akon 4 making all my mainstream frnds think that its ok 2 say Na instead of Now... this is sarcasm btw... h8 u 4 this Akon... thought we were frnds.),
I am officially making myself more available 2 u.
Nd I want 2 b able 2 hear from u more.

Want 2 b more connected 2 ur lives.
Want 2 "get" u more.

Ive always been available 4 email... at jose@lanouveau.com
But As Of Right Now... drumroll plz... U can IM josé.
Thats right. Send me an IM, nd I will instantly respond 2 u. Its that easy. This whole InstantMessage thing is so easy/cool. José's screen name = LAnouveau.

I would also love 4 u 2 share in my love of music nd "get" what im listening 2.
Thus, I present u with the info 2 my Last.fm account. My username = lifewow.
Random, I know, but 2 quote Ja'mie King... "You'll get used 2 it."

So there u have it.
Just want evry1 2 feel less Untouched nd more connected 2 José.

>> BONUS BONUSS mp3 THATS RELATED 2 THIS BLOGPOST LOLZIES >>>>

Michelle Branch - All You Wanted

Want u bitches 2 feel Touched all ovr,
José

How 2 B More "Out There Grindin'" nd Other Pieces of Advice

Theres a lot of places u can turn 2 in the InterWeb 2 get advice.
Its 1 of the few good qualities about this mysterious, tumultuous place that ur currently a part of.

But there r srsly so many resources 2 get advice nd learn shit.

There's L.A. Nouveau, a particularly creepy but more-or-less wondrful lil blog where u can learn about hipster couture, what Los Angeles has 2 offer u's, nd other AltBro qualities of living.

There's other blogs like Hipster Runoff aka HRO where u can learn about all diffrnt kinds of Alts by reading a series of hypothetical rhetorical questions asked by the wrld's biggest SketchBro, Carles.

There's UStreetMeet, or University Street Meet, where u can get gr8 fashion advice based on wondrful photographs of random fashionable humans captured nd discussed by 2 coolie lil college students.

There's tons of homeworkhelper sites where u can chit nd chat with othr mentally ill highschool/college/middleskul kiddies who just cant figure out how the fk 2 do their math hwk. All i gotta say 2 this is that these kidlings r a bunch of dumb bogens. Thats why u should just get ur moms+dads 2 fork ovr the money from their trust fund nd pay 4 u 2 go 2 private school. Sry, no offense, but its true.

There's all the diffrnt health-rel8ed advice webbiesites that explain 2 u y ur not feeling so well aftr being diagnosed with HIV ovr 6 yrs ago. Luv u Webmd, now i dont have 2 go 2 a doctor anymore nd pay those stupid meddycal billz, cuz i can get all my questions answered from u. Cant wait til Webmd starts offring a service where u can use Photobooth on ur Macbook Pro 2 take pictures of ur body/sores/problem areas nd it will explain 4 u what the fk is going on.

But srsly, of all the Advice webbysites out there, I have 1 favey.
It's WikiHow. U's have probably heard of it. Any 1, srsly any 1, even if ur one of those dumb publicschool educated kiddies, can write an article 4 WikiHow giving advice 2 ppls evrywhere by explaining how 2 do random shit.

I mention WikiHow 2day bcuz 1 thing i luv about it is the daily "How 2 of the Day" that shows up on my AppleInc.-inspired iGoogle page.
Somedays, the How 2 of the Day is pretty weak/unimportant/total shit.
But 2day is not just any othr day.

Bcuz 2days "Wiki How 2 of the Day" is....
How 2 Grind.

Like, on the dancefloor. Yes, Moms+Dads, scholars, bogens, lilAlts in training evrywhere, if u evr wondered wtf ur teens/20somethings/grandparents were trying 2 do when u assumed they were intending 2 have sex on the dancefloor, it is the art of Grinding.
Want 2 go thru the steps of How 2 Grind with u's now.


Nevr realized that u shouldnt ask ppl if they want 2 grind. Ive always been wondring y I dont do that well on the dancefloors of my favey hiphop/top40 clubs.
Just want to live in a country where I have the freedom 2 ask random ppls if they want 2 grind instead of just asking if they want 2 dance. Cant we just cut 2 the chase? Cum on now.


Thoughts about this photograph:

Luv the photograph. Just want a girl with sexy hips nd equally sexy braces 2 match them.

H8 this photograph. I was srsly just beginning 2 get ovr how shitty of a yr 1942 was. '42 just sucked 4 me in a lot of ways...
- Anne Frank went in2 hiding in that dude's attic that yr.
- The Holocaust went in2 serious full swing that yr.
- Almost 500 ppl were killed in my favey nightclub in Boston, the Cocoanut Grove. Miss partying there aftr RedSox games.
- The ManhattanProject, u know, the secret project where they invented the Atomic Bomb, initiated the wrld's 1st evr Nuclear Chain Reaction. Ive felt much less safer evryday since...

Just want 2 get ovr what a shitshow of a yr 1942 was.
Lets move on.


Just lettin u's all now, I think u can get arrested in certain parts of the wrld 4 initating "Grinding Chains"... so b careful when attempting this final step.

Thnx WikiHow 4 entertaining me/u's/us all yet again.
Now im just waiting 4 a WikiHow article on how 2 more effectively use IcyHot/TigerBalm...
** HINT: Future BlogPost about this topic CUMING SOON LOLZ **

Get ur bitch grinding on the floor thanks 2 advicewebsites,
José

U Have the Power 2 "Win A Free Vacation"

I am in need of a vacation.
But not just any vacation.
I need a vacation from the InterWeb.

I/u’s/we all need a lil Vacation from the InterWeb.

I know it sounds scary.
Cuz srsly. What the fk r we doing if we’re not using the InterWeb?
Nd i know the fears that r running thru ur mind as I suggest this vacation.

- How am i gonna poke my bffls? I CANT LOSE THIS POKE WAR LOLZ

- How will i read about whats going on in the wrld? but by “whats going on in the wrld” i mean like where LinsdayLohan and SammyRonson were this wknd. NEED 2 KEEP TRACK OF MY FAVEY CELEBEYS LOLZ

- How will i maintain a stable relationship with my boyfrnd while he’s on patrol in Chechnya? I CANT LAST A DAY W/OUT SKYPE-BERSEX HEHE

- How will i check my stocks so i know when 2 pull out? I REFUSE 2 ADMIT THAT ITS A LIL 2 LATE 2 TAKE MY MONEYS OUT OF LEHMAN BROS LOLZ

- How am i gonna know what HipsterRunoff is bitching about? What if he cums out of the closet while I’m offline? NEED HRO’s BULLSHIT IN MY LYFE OR ELSE I WILL DECUMPOSE LOLZERS

I get ur fears. Srsly.
But i feel like im 2 controlled by the InterWeb.
I feel like ive fallen subject 2 the evils of the InterWeb.
I'm pretty sure my frnd Jesus Christ warned me about succumbing 2 the InterWeb once.
Just feel like if I cant rely/do.my.life/function without the InterWeb, then what does that say about me?

I want 2 b independent.
I want 2 b free.
I want 2 b my own Species.

I want 2 have the power 2 b free from the InterWeb.
Nd so should u.



I want 2 not b constantly worried what new ViralVideo is getting millionz of plays on the YouTube.
I want 2 not live in fear that my frnds nd familymembers r all dead bcuz they havent updated their fb status in a lil while.
I want 2 not feel like i shouldnt go 2 the gym bcuz i might get a rly important life-changing wall post in the next 30 min.
I want 2 not have 2 pray evry night that my creditcard info isnt stolen by that SwearItsFree pornsite that I "accidentally" signed up 4 a few mnths ago.

I want 2 b free from the InterWeb if i choose 2 b.
Thus, I will clrly b checking my blogstats all day, uploading new fb pixxx of my frnds at the beach/at a bar/at a new club opening/jumping off a roof, nd blogging once again l8r today.

Cant escape the bitchiness of the IntrWebbb,
José

Tips 4 Relaxation nd How 2 B Less Like Bitch A.

Lets start this intellectual mindFk post by playing a game.
Its called “Do U Know A Bitch Like this?”
The object of the game is 2 determine if u know any bitches like the 1 im about 2 describe. Let’s see how u do.
Good luck.

Bitch A:...
Wakes up at 9:30 in the A-M.
Skips taking a shower bcuz showers r so 2ZroZro8.
Slips on the same pair of jeans that Bitch A has been wearing 4 sixdays.
Runs 2 grab coffee.
Has class at 10.
Gets out at 11:55.
Runs 2 work which Bitch A is supposed 2 start at 12.
Has an Elitist Important Meetng with Bitch A’s Boss at 12:30.
The boss shows up late, meetng goes til 2.
Runs out of the bldg 2 grab more coffee aftr the meeting.
Has a presentation 2 give at 2:30.
Does a WardrobeChange at 3:30 to go 2 Bitch A’s sports team captain job.
1 of the kids accidentally kicks Bitch A in the face during practice.
Bleeds 4 approx 20 min, leaves practice.
Gets home by 6:30, blasts “I Feel So Untouched Right Now” while heating up leftovers from 2 nights prior.
Crams 4 an exam until 8.
Goes out 4 drinks with 2 new frnds, 1 whose gendr is not necessarily clear.
Gets buzzed by 10 P-m, gets drunk by 10:15 P-m, gets home by 10:30 P-m 2 study more 4 Bitch A’s nextDay exam.
Makes a fresh pot of StarbucksSuperMochaMohave coffee.
Reads stimulating blogs b4 bed.
Goes 2 sleep around 1am.

So... Do U Know A Bitch Like this?
R there ppl in ur life who share some similarities to Bitch A?
R u the person who this sounds like?

If u know some1 or are some1 who is similar 2 Bitch A, then congratulations, cuz that person/u r overScheduled.
Which brings me 2 2day’s main point about what suxxx.
So here’s what suxxx.
Being overScheduled.



Its daunting.
Its frustrating.
Its cunty.
Its stressful.
2 put it in the wrds of the most platonic human being evr, it's a "Damn Shame".

Nd 2 b honest, no 1 likes overScheduled ppl.
Cuz they usually r 2 stressed, 2 erratic, 2 pissedoff 2 deal with othr ppl's problems,
Nd r basically the biggest CuntyMoms ever.

Nd I know its been 4ever since ive officially declared this, but I am hereby declaring Bitch A-type ppl as the biggest CuntyMoms of the Week.

So whats there 2 do 2 change this cuntyness, u ask?
Feel like there's no way out of ur overScheduled overWorked underSexed life?
Here's some Advice from the L.A. Nouveau AdviceColumn >>
- Drink more coffee//redbulls//Sparks. Keeps u going longer.
- Watch 30 Rock. Cuz if u associate with this lifestyle, then u will associate well with Liz Lemon.
- Take a WkndGetAway. More info on this is available in a post circa-Nov 0h-8.
- Meet me at Foxwoods.
- Go 2 the Beach nd chill out/surf out/make out with some surferBroskis.
- Write a musical theater production about a stereotyped Group of ppl who tend 2 piss u off as a way 2 channel ur angst/"Emotions."
- Choose.ur.own.Coping.Method

Would love 2 hear some of u's coping methods / ways u relax / ways u reduce ur own Cuntyness. Sharing is caring yall. U could b helping ur fellow reader/blogger/hipster/bitch A.
Remember the "Give It Away" theme 4 2kNine.

Get out of ur betchteeming life,
José

Don't B Fooled By 2day's GasPrices

Welcum back 2 the L.A. Nouveau NewsCntr: Keeping U’s Informed Evryday, Lolz.

2day’s topic: Gas Prices.
They r so low.
Like, party-like-its-1999 low.
Like, wait-I-4get-did-Hurricane-Katrina-ever-happen?
Like, Y-the-Fk-r-airplane-flights-still-so-expensive?

Point is, prices r fking ridiculously low.
Especially when considering that prices were more than triple what they are now even 4 mnths ago. Way 2 b bizarre, 2ZroZro8.

But srsly, back in July, when I needed 2 fill my halfJapanese/quarterAmerican/onefifthsEuropeanUnion-made tank, I would stop by my ever-so-friendly neighborhood ExxonMobil SuperFillerUpperStation, ask them for $20 worth of regular sludge, nd wound up getting literally 5 gallonz worth.
Now in Decmbr, when I stop by the new Valero/WaWa/Quiker-Than-Evr-Mart that they built on that abandoned meth lab, nd I hand that crumbled coke-filled 20 dollar bill over, I now fill pretty much my entire tank.
Now that shit’s hilarious.

Nd I know ur happy about this dramatic gas price decrease, u little guzzlers u.
But there’s some srsly shitty aspects of these low prices.
Mostly bcuz it distracts us/theGovt/urMom from the real issue at hand:
AltEnergy.

In 0h-9, we need 2 focus less on AltBros nd more on AltEnergy.
We need 2 b way more energy indie nd less energy dependie.
Wanting 2 see the change. Feeling like JohnMayer over here.
Keeping on waiting.

But srsly, now that gas prices are low again, ppl r starting 2 feel all “ok” about buying shit tons of gas again.
Nd this must b stopped.
Like, pronto. Bcuz it’s distracting us from making a change.

Wishing 4 the Greenest 2ZroZro9 ever.
Nd speaking of green, we all (w’all)’s need 2 check out a rly amazing website/blog/interweb thing called inhabitat. It’s a website that is regularly updated with rly cool/neat-o environmentally friendly inventions/stuff nd ways 2 b more ecofriendly.
L.A. Nouveau highly recommends this shit.

Wishing that I went 2 Weed High.
Srsly. It exists. In wayyyyyyyyNorthernCalifornia.
Like, on the border with Oregon.


B the bitch u want 2 see in the wrld,
José

Ur Nouveau TravelAgency has Arrived.

Getaways r the best.
Now don't get me wrong, love L.A.
I am ridiculously in love with the dirty bullsht that is LosAngeles,California.

But sometimes its nice 2 get away from it all.
2 get away from the drama.
2 get away from the erratic nd problematic evryday dealings of life.
2 get away from the CuntyMoms/SlutBags/DirtDevils/BroHoHoes.

As we all (w'all?) know, traveling around the holiday season is quite the adventure.
But regardless, aftr a yr full of more change, life changes nd transitions than evr b4, i think i, along with all u's, deserve a much needed break.

Now theres a lot of places where u/I/we/ could go.
W'all r so lucky that America is such a big country.
So many exciting places 2 go.

Now I know u could b thinking that ur ideal getaway is not necessarily in the USofA.
Maybe its Italy, maybe its Jakarta, maybe its some r&r in the Uzbek.
But right now, my fellow cuntrymen/cuntymen, if ur gonna take some LongWkndGetaway, u rly oughta do it in this bitch of a country.

Cuz America needs ur dollers.
Ur dough.
Ur pocketchange.
Ur earnings from the gold earrings u sold back to that GetRichQuik infomercial.

Cuz I have some big nuze 2 share with u.
We're in an economic crisis.

I know, ur freaking out, ur shocked, u just pissed urself nd now ur frnds r staring at the puddle undr ur feet.
But its srsly true, ur frnd UnkleSam is going thru some super rough times right now.
Nd he's looking 4 some monetary help.
Basically, in this little situation, u in college = UnkleSam nd ur parents = u. Get that?

R my metaphors too abstract for u's?

I'll try 2 tone that shit down. My b. (An ethnic frnd taught me this expression 2day, did i use it correctly?)

Back 2 the Big News. The economic crisis thing.
Instead of hopping off 2 the South Sandwich Islands, W'all gotta stay in the US this yr.
It's just the responsible feasable thing 2 do. As Friendly Fires nd Au Revior Simone say, "Someday we're gonna live in Paris, I promise, I'm on it, when I'm bringing in the money, I promise, I'm on it." But right now, it's just not a good time.
I promise. Someday. Maybe in 2Zro10. Lets hope we can.

But 4 now, its time to settle 4 somewhere in the good ol' United St8s.
Here r some suggestions based on my generalizations of diffrnt kinds of Americans.

- 4 the NeoLibrals: Portland, Oregon.
Totally urban but totally green, totally libral, totally funky fun, totally upbeat, totally chilly, totally Totttallly.

- 4 the Cumplete Hippy: SanFrancisco nd Berkeley, California.
Weed. Head shops. Chinatown. More weed. Alkatraz. Hemp evrything. Hemp wallets, hemp coats, hemp cars, hemp guns. Gotta love that shit.

- 4 the Pop Culture Circa 2008 Lover: Wasila, Alaska.
See the town that started it all. H8 her/miss hr/h8 her. Waiting 4 her talk show career. I will so watch the 1st episode of that.

- 4 the SouthernCharm-needy: Charleston, South Carolina.
In all seriousness, this city is great. Went 2 yrs ago nd would love 2 go back. Total southrn hospitality meets hip normal urban city meets confederate history. It really doesn't get much better.

- 4 the ColdHeartedBitch: Camden, New Jersey.
This will immediately straighten u up. Plus the Aquarium is a gr8 place 2 bring the kids. Nd it has a nice view of the Philly pollution, drug dealings nd gang wars.

Hope that was helpful.
Trying 2 help out this country of ours.
Trying 2 supply u with the most current news that affects ur life.

Which brings me LastButNotLeast 2 reveal a new L.A. Nouveau PostTheme:


Looking 2 put the NewsCntr in full swing in this upcoming NewYr. So Get Excited. !.

Thinking of adding a new travel advice/recreational advice/life advice in 2ZroZro9.

Bitch City,
José

Express Ur Guilt b4 its 2 late

I am my biggest guilty pleasure.
That's right Switzerland, nd othr non-USofA-ers who often browse L.A. Nouveau.

Nd I, like u, have a shit ton of guilty pleasures.
Nd just like u, while I should b embarrassed by some of my potentially depressing/potentially emasculating guilty pleasures, I still talk about them / occasionally flaunt them / discuss them with plenty of the humans in my life.
Yet I, like u, still feel as if they are guilty pleasures, things that I really should keep quiet about nd would b problematic nd sad to discuss.

So back to my original statemnt, right now, my biggest guilty pleasure is myself. Yep, it's me.
José, u r guilty.
Of being my pleasure.

Thought: Is that the most egotistical thing that has evr stumbledupon my brain?
Nxt thought: No.
Cuz life should be lived out in the way we most want 2 express it.
////Life=SuprTemporary////
Nd I, like u, have all the right in the wrld to live it out in any way I want 2.
(As long as I don't murder ppl, shoplift evryday, bcum a meth-producing prosty, etc.)

Nd I encourage U 2 do the same.
As T.I. and Rijanna eloquently audiotune'd about in 2k8, "Just Live Yo Lyfe"

This is continuously turning into the biggest NewYrzResolution NewYrzRezzy rant evr, but srsly, in 2ZroZro9 let us all b free to express our guiltiest pleasures and live them out, cuz who knows when else we will get 2? (Spoiler alert!: In 2Zro10, it will b illegal 2 express guilty pleasures, so act quickly!)
To promote some encouragement, I will tear down all the walls and will, right here, right now, admit to u some of José's biggest guilty pleasures.
(Inhale, exhale).
I'm ready if u r.

Jose's Guilty Pleasures:

- Humans on meth.
I should be so against this.
When it's wrong, yet it feels so right. (Love u ParisHilton 4 this amazing quote)
Looking at their suprskinny decumposing bodies makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Nd the fact that they r actually legitimately doing crystalmeth is just... wow...
Like, that sucks, yet thats amazing.
I know its a twisted pleasure.
Cant help it.



- The Bad Girls Club. Fk Oxygen 4 being an "only 4 women" TV network. The Bad Girls Club is the best show to evr cum to televisions. It always makes me feel A. proud to not b a woman, nd second of all, in love with the American dream nd evrything that it has 2 offer.


- The Mets. I know baseball is 4 cumplete dorky sports fans, but I have loved / love / will always love those Amazin' Mets no matter how shitty of a season they play or how desperately close they will get to the playoffs 2 yrs in a fking row MTHR FKERS I FKING HATE THE PHILLIES FK THAT BULLSHT IM SO TIRED OF THE FKING CITY OF PHILAFKINGDELPHIA I WILL BLOG MORE ABOUT THIS LATR BUT I FKING HATE EVRYTHING ABOUT THAT SHITHOLE CITYY FKKKK THEM


- HRO (hipster runoff). I hate hipsters and bloggers nd all of them solely bcuz I might b one, but hate admitting that i am one, but yet want ppl to think i'm one (WARNING: THIS IS WAY 2 EXPRESSIVE 4 the SAKE OF THIS BLOG SO APPRECIATE HOW MUCH IM REVEALING ABOUT MYSELF 2 U DUMBFKS) anyways i h8/love/H8/miss HRO and evrything about that blog so much. Just want 2 b Carles. Just want 2 express myself yall.

- Sexy NY socialites. As much as I love L.A. nd HATE that WB ripoff show The Gossip Girls Club, there's something about that made-up, stuck-up, slightly prissy but oh so classy NewYork socialite bartender babe that I can't get enuf of. Nd their wealthyAsFk names like Alessandra Belmont or Rebecca Curtis Manville just fuel my "I h8 u but so guiltily love/want u" feelings.



So there u have it.
There r some of my guiltiest pleasures.
Now in an effort 2 better improve urself/ur life/my blog, I ask u 2 please share at least 1 of ur guilty pleasures by commenting this post.
So please share with me below. Cuz I love sharing. And aftr a wonderful evening with best frnds last night, I have seen how beautiful the power of sharing can be.
So fking share ur guilty pleasures. Nd feel good about it.

Betches Got Issues,
José