I've Got A Head Cold, I'm Calling In Gay

Nuze flash: Yesterday was a Day without Gays.Gheys.
Did u know? Were u aware?

Apparently yesterday, Decmbr 10th, was a national advocacy day called A Day Without Gays. Nd I guess I missed the memo.
Nd I guess a lot of othr ppl did too.
Cuz I am certain that on my way back from lunch I saw several ppl who, last time I checked, were definitely Gheys. Then later on arriving back at my apartment I saw 2 dudes that evry1 has told me r gay.
Did they not realize that it was a day without gheys? Or maybe they aren't gay and I have just been misinformed/misled by their very homosexual tendencies.

Now b4 I start gettng death threats from GLAAD nd many of the ppl that live on my floor, I should explain the true meaning of this day:
Basically, the idea is that Gays everywhere were encouraged 2 not go 2 work/school/life and should "Call In Gay" to show what society wud actually b like if there were no gay ppl aka how damaging it wud b.
So kudos 2 this interesting and thought-provoking idea.


But here's the thing:
Bcuz I live in a very liberal setting, am liberal, have liberal frnds, etc., there r a lot of gheys around my life right now.
Nd 2 b honest, I could use a break.
I don't mean 2 offend the gheys who read L.A. Nouveau like its Gone With The Wind,
Nd I do love diversity,
But just 4 one day it would b nice for some of the overdramatics nd awkwardness that a lot of the gheys I know posess to go away.

So yesterday could have potentially been the best little vacation evr.
I could've sat outside, sipping a margarita, enjoying the fact that evry1 around me was down for some opposite-sex fun.
It's the same reason why Jews move 2 Israel, why Blacks dont send their kids 2 WASPy private schools, why Txns voted in George W. Bush...: Sometimes its nice 2 b with ur own ppl.

The diffrnce with me, u, nd my othr liberal homies is that unlike those who wish 2 always b with their own ppl, at the end of the day, I love diversity.
I think its beautiful. I know its beautiful. Nd I know that diversity is possible.
But sometimes, aka once a yr or so, it wud b nice to have some time 2 just b with ppl like urself.
2 have some bonding time with ppl of the same religion/sexuality/creed/penissize/ethnicity as my own damn self yall.
Im pretty sure I do not spend enough quality time with ppl who r like me, so this day could have given me an opportunity to see past their boring ways nd bond with them once nd 4 all.

So I therefore thank all the gheys who stayed indoors nd didn't do anything in the public eye to give us non-gays a day to relax, but also 2 think about whethr we actually appreciate u or not.
Nd 4 the gheys that I witnessed still parading around town today, I ask u to please participate next yr.

Nd speaking of gheys, the artist I'm about to post is a fave of the gayCommunity so I've heard, nd she's making a big dent in the mainstream music scene too. Which is kind of annoying. Nd now that I think about it, I have no idea why I'm posting about her. But this song is such a guiltypleasure (guess I shouldve posted it two days ago).
It's Lady Gaga.
The song is "Starstruck."
It even has, gasp, a rap cameo. I know. I know.
Just fking listen. Sry that this song is very high on the homosexual tendencies scale. Maybe I'll stay home next yr.

Lady Gaga - "Starstruck" (click 2 dwnload)

That Diet's Got Her Acting All 'South Bitch',
José

Kennedy Sex Whores Unite.

Hello and here's what I'm jealous of 2day:
Legacy Last Names.

Yep, that's right. U know those last names that just scream WEALTH, PWR, FAME, and LEGACY.
Exmpl: Rockefeller.
U know if u met some1 with the last name Rockefeller, they'd be rollin' in the dough.
Just like if u meet some1 in 10+ yrs with the last name Obama, u know u'll be jealous that they were somehow related to Barack, Michy, and the whole hipster PrezFam. (Love u Sash nd Malia)
But the biggest LEGACY LST NAME that im super jealous of right now has to be:
KENNEDY.
aka
John Kennedy.
Prez No. 35, SuperStud, Womanizer, R.I.P.

aka
Cory Kennedy.
Former CobraSnake Intern, The LA Hipster/LA Socialite of 0h-6, Coke Addict, LOVE.

aka
Joe Kennedy.
The King of Queens, Vegas Billionaire, Ghey of the Day.


Nd speaking of the latter example, I'd like to discuss Sex in the 2ks. (2000's)
Now im totally cool with / down with ppl cuming up with hot sexy kinky ways to attract some1 or initiate something with someone.
Foreplay? I'm game.
Treasure hunt? Sounds grand.
Horny txt msg? Superb.

But here's where technology/the internet/VanessaHudgens goes wrong:
SENDING NAKED PICS OVR THE INTERWEB.


Oh nd then it gets wurse. (Credit: JKndy's fkbud) Nd just to clarify, these weren't found on GoogleImages or some bullsht like that. These were actually sent to a frnd from some1 asking 4 sex:


Rlly?
REALLY?
RLY?!
Ok, so it can be sorta hot if ur so ultra attractive to the point that naked pics of urself would be deemed HOT. But srsly, no offense to evry human i know, but i would not want to see most of the humans i associate with everyday, and even some of the humans that i would want to fk, in self-taken naked pixxx of themselves in their dirty bathroom mirrors.
Nd SRSLY, kudos to u for being that enamored with urself, but who the fk is that ubsessed with themselves to actually do that?

Now here cums the sad part: I am sure that many of the ppl I know nd love nd fk nd who read this blog have done / do this regularly / will do this in the future.
Y? IDK. When A. its creepy and SECOND OF ALL, some1 could easily post them online.
So unless ur lookng to bcum a pornstar (nd in that case GO 4 IT!!!! ND send me ur pixxx and i will gladly try to get u famous), nd unless ur bf/gf/elicit lover is off to war / displaced so far away that its the only thing that can get ur relationship to stay kindled, then wtf are u doing.

Nd back to my original argument, if this is how ur actually trying to get some1 to bone u / fk u / have vaginal/anal/oral intercourse with u, then all i have to say is:
WOW. RLY?! WOW.

Nd the fact that this WORKED is even more ridiculous/hilarious/naturally.

More mp3's mañana. B grateful for what i supply u, u dirty drug/mp3-ubsessed nymphos.

2k9 Sex-Crazed Betches Be Gone,
José

Just hear it. And hear it now.

After much careful analytical research, I have come to realize that homosexuality, or the idea of one person being attracted to another person of the same sex, is just not in right now. It's just not cool at this brief moment in time. It's all just SO on the way out.

To the point that even disses about gays aren't cool right now.

Example: only cumplete DoucheLuzrs (douchebags that are such losers that they don't even have friends to support their doucheyness) use the term "no homo". That shit has travelled the Oregon Trail and has definitely died of cholera. Even "that's so gay" is dwindling in its cool-factor.

So what to do now? This new information of how uncool the gay disses are becoming are sure to leave many feeling scared, insecure, and helpless, lacking any sense of how to make fun of that kid with greasy hair who you always used to yell "homo" to as he walked to his next class.

Fear not, Puritans.

To all the seventh grade bullies,

To all the name-calling coke addicts,

To all the insecure basketball players,

To all the children neglected by their million dollar moms and dads,

To all the bitter gun-clinging patriots,

To all of y'all,

I bring thee hope.

There is a new dis in town. And it is about to knock your nose off.

To think that we've wasted so much time nagging on the gays when there is a group out there far weirded, far less understood, yet far more ignored...

Hermaphrodites. or "Intersexed" as medical professionals are being asked to call it today.

It's not that uncommon, yet it is so ignored.

But think about it:

What makes that guy who acts kind of girly sometimes who you call "gay" actually gay?

Who knows what his true sexuality really is?

What you do know is that he's a male who acts rather female-y sometimes.

So instead of calling him the outdated uncool term "gay",

call him this:
HERMO.

Example: "Man, Carlos, those girly pants make you look super HERMO. LOLZ."

Or even, "Sheesh that movie was HERMO."

So, on an almost-ending note, Au revoir Homo, Bonjour HERMO.

Addtly, I have sum exciting newz to share in regards to the wrld of music.

A. My bst frnd SK aka SocialiteInNowhereland and I have cum togethr to create a new mp3 blog experience. nd its named aftr our fav up nd cuming socialite of thm all: Ally Marcus. so make sure u start cheking out AllyMarcus.blogspot.com cuz it'll b up and runnin and chock full of sexcellent music.

and SECOND OF ALL: Move the fk over Pandora. As much as I luv Pandora/last.fm radio, it sux that i cant actually listen to the specific song that i want to listen to. and what if i wanna play music at a party but dont necessarily have all the music that everyone wnts to hear?
NO FEAR NO MO'. I bring you: Just Hear It.
how it works: u type in the song u wanna hear, it finds it from places all over the internet, u click it and it plays. then u can make playlists, find more songs, etc.
its like iTunes over the internet, without having to actually have the music downloaded. can u say "FKING AWESOME"?
chek the mssk out of JustHearIt.com

Delightfully bitchin,

José

Gweirdos, CinNerds, Fukcohol

I'll start with a song that i'm gonna be kind enuff to share with u ungrateful smegma-teeming teenagers.  If u weren't yet aware, pretty much the only talent today comes from hogwartz aka the UK.  So this puta's name is Nadia Oh, and her hot pop electroslut song is called "Got Your Number".  Apparently it was featured on the tv show Gossip Cunt at some point (fk my life), but i'm gonna try to ignore that fact.  But this song is so SaraKeim / SiM (socialite in nowhereland) its almost unignorable.

Public service anouncmnt:

Please fk the reese's pnut butter cup that i just ate.

ALSO:

NEW POLL.

TAKE IT.

BE A PART OF THE DEMOCRATIC PROCESS>>>> ANSWER THE POLL>>>

Other thghts: why is it that all of the sudden there are all these cinema nerds / gay weirdos aka CinNerds/Gweirdos that have seemed to sprout up like dandelions?

As my best friend SaKei once wrote on her blog: "You're tacky and I hate you."

And since when r white girls good looking again?  i thought that ended with claudia schiffer.  

srsly im almost positive that no white girls have ever been hot since claudia schiffer. 

now its all about mixed race, exotically tanned mamas.

but i got hold of this calendar photo from a sorority girls gone wild photospread (im not specifying what school or what sorority house) and i must say that the white girls seem to be rockin it in their soon-2-be wet white tees.

and this leads me to b-leve the fllwing:

ELITISM: its back and potentially sexier than ever.

final thought: AJM CUM HOME NOW.   othr final thght: humans that u usd 2 know make humans that u now know awkd out.

Big Idiotic Techno-Crap Hoes,

José