Warning/Advisry/FYeye: The following BlogPost is surprisingly "very deep." aka Its not ur average ranting/hipster/angst-ridden BlogPost. Sry u's all. This happens sometimes. José can b "deep" 2. So grab ur lyfe jackets/floaties nd lets begin.
I have cum 2 realize 1 overwhelming reoccurring theme btween many of L.A. Nouveau's blogposts that I nevr realized b4:
Independence.
Me/u's/we all in the hipster community, in the AltBro network, in the L.A. frndship circle, strive so much 4 independence.
Its what separates José from just anothr AltBro.
Nd I have some big nuze. It's not rly NewsCntr-worthy, but its still nuze.
I dont h8 u 4 being a lil mainstream.
While I might not "get" what the fk ur doing nd why u's all r doing it, I dont h8 u 4 it.
Bcuz I know that sometimes its easier.
Bcuz sometimes its less scary.
Bcuz sometimes its more familiar/comfortable/etc.
But I as José truly blieve that deep down inside of even the biggest DoucheBag antiHipster antiIndie top40-obsessed T-PainWorshipper, there is a yearn 4 independence.
Its what brought ur gr8-gr8-grandparents 2 this country.
Its what will someday bring ur gr8-gr8-grandkiddies 2 find a new planet bcuz this 1 will be super Bogen-y.
Big.bold.statement.goes.here.:
We all want 2 find our Independence.
Yet while L.A. Nouveau/HRO/Tao Lin's AZN blog/othr blogs express themselves a lot nd often strive 4 the highest level of Independence,
Its not 2 say that being Dependent 2 some things in life is Not Ok.
Cuz It is.
Its what keeps us human after yall.
Its what keeps us functioning in our lil AltSociety of the 2k's.
Its what keeps us living evryday like there is gonna b something bettr 2morrow.
Just gotta stay a lil Dependent in order 2 survive in evryday life.
But whats beautiful about the L.A./NYC/int'l society of the wrld is that we can live among evryday life nd still b a lil Independent in our ideas/means of expression.
Even if u feel like ur trapped by Mainstream Society, u have an escape.
Let José b a piece of ur Independence.
Cuz José=Me. José=U's. José=the Independent us.
Want 2 hear from u's about 1 thing u did 2day that embodied some José-like Independence.
Plz share. Leave a comment. Draft an email to jose@lanouveau.com.
Send an IM to José's new sn: LAnouveau.
/////
B4 we depart from this overly-deep overly-complex discussion that hopefully will not happen again 4 a long time...
I'd like 2 leave us all with some Advice based on what we talked about.
- Encourage othrs in ur evryday life 2 express their José-ness nd express their Independence.
- Compliment that grrl in ur English class 4 her unique style nd her platinum yellow jeans.
- Tell that boy who made u a CutCopy mixtape back in 8th grade how much u appreciate his taste in music.
- Remind that bff of urs how sexycool she would look wearing her new CircleScarf as a dress when u's all go out 2 the clubs later.
- Choose.ur.own.kind.remark.2.tell.an.AltFrnd.of.urs
In conclusion:
While a lil bit of dependence is necessary 2 succeed in our society, Independence is what will make u u, nd what distinguishes u as the EPIC/legit/beautiful human that u r.
As the wrld-famous filmatographer/YouTuber who captured the globally-dominating video "My Dumplings" once sang,
B An Original.
2 End this Intense BlogPost on a much lighter note, enjoy the following MyDumplings-Morgan Arons mash-up that will encourage u 2 B An Original:
My Dumplings Be An Original MegaMix
This Bitch Gets "In 2 Deep"-Sum41 Sometimes,
José
1.28.2009
Stop Feeling Untouched! nd Get Connected
There's a problm out there, so lets talk about.
Its an issue thats currently sweeping across the tweens of this nation.
But its something that I/u's/we all occasionally face.
Whats this grave issue I speak of?
No, its not the lack of medical insurance that millions of citizens dont have.
Its feeling Untouched.
Nd I'm sure u's nd I alike know the feeling well.
Its the feeling u get when u feel like u have no1 2 turn 2.
Its the feeling u get when u just want some1 to cuddle with/fornicate with/hug with.
There's this rly popular song out on the AirWaves right now thats called "Untouched" that talks all about this feeling.
This feeling u get when all rly u need is a lovr.
When all u need is a frnd 2 massage IcyHot all ovr u.
When all u want is 2 escape ur lyfe that is so lonely inside, so busy out there
When all u wanted is somebody who cares...
I seem 2 b slipping in2 anothr angsty untouched-themed song.
H8/miss u Michelle Branch.
So clearly bcuz of the rising popularity of this thriller-esque terrifying song, this must b a key issue in our lil society that we should all work 2 address.
I ask u now 2 cum 2gether, nd once again, as I've discussed previously at the beginning of this yr, u/I/we all need 2 "Give It Away" a lil more.
We need to give some of our Touch 2 the ppl who rly need it most.
...2 all the AltSluts aka desperate ladies,
...2 all the suicidal preskulers,
...2 all the sexually-closeted classmates who live in the building next 2 u 1 floor up from the lobby,
...2 all the truly good looking yet food-deprived frnds of urs/mine,
...2 all the blacked-out blipsters (no racial pun intended, i was referring 2 excessive alcohol intake, LOLzers)...
We need 2 try 2 give a lil bit of not only our Touch, but also our Time nd Availability 2 these stereotyped groups nd othrs who need it 2.
Which is why, as of Right Na (thnx Akon 4 making all my mainstream frnds think that its ok 2 say Na instead of Now... this is sarcasm btw... h8 u 4 this Akon... thought we were frnds.),
I am officially making myself more available 2 u.
Nd I want 2 b able 2 hear from u more.
Want 2 b more connected 2 ur lives.
Want 2 "get" u more.
Ive always been available 4 email... at jose@lanouveau.com
But As Of Right Now... drumroll plz... U can IM josé.
Thats right. Send me an IM, nd I will instantly respond 2 u. Its that easy. This whole InstantMessage thing is so easy/cool. José's screen name = LAnouveau.
I would also love 4 u 2 share in my love of music nd "get" what im listening 2.
Thus, I present u with the info 2 my Last.fm account. My username = lifewow.
Random, I know, but 2 quote Ja'mie King... "You'll get used 2 it."
So there u have it.
Just want evry1 2 feel less Untouched nd more connected 2 José.
>> BONUS BONUSS mp3 THATS RELATED 2 THIS BLOGPOST LOLZIES >>>>
Michelle Branch - All You Wanted
Want u bitches 2 feel Touched all ovr,
José
Its an issue thats currently sweeping across the tweens of this nation.
But its something that I/u's/we all occasionally face.
Whats this grave issue I speak of?
No, its not the lack of medical insurance that millions of citizens dont have.
Its feeling Untouched.
Nd I'm sure u's nd I alike know the feeling well.
Its the feeling u get when u feel like u have no1 2 turn 2.
Its the feeling u get when u just want some1 to cuddle with/fornicate with/hug with.
There's this rly popular song out on the AirWaves right now thats called "Untouched" that talks all about this feeling.
This feeling u get when all rly u need is a lovr.
When all u need is a frnd 2 massage IcyHot all ovr u.
When all u want is 2 escape ur lyfe that is so lonely inside, so busy out there
When all u wanted is somebody who cares...
I seem 2 b slipping in2 anothr angsty untouched-themed song.
H8/miss u Michelle Branch.
So clearly bcuz of the rising popularity of this thriller-esque terrifying song, this must b a key issue in our lil society that we should all work 2 address.
I ask u now 2 cum 2gether, nd once again, as I've discussed previously at the beginning of this yr, u/I/we all need 2 "Give It Away" a lil more.
We need to give some of our Touch 2 the ppl who rly need it most.
...2 all the AltSluts aka desperate ladies,
...2 all the suicidal preskulers,
...2 all the sexually-closeted classmates who live in the building next 2 u 1 floor up from the lobby,
...2 all the truly good looking yet food-deprived frnds of urs/mine,
...2 all the blacked-out blipsters (no racial pun intended, i was referring 2 excessive alcohol intake, LOLzers)...
We need 2 try 2 give a lil bit of not only our Touch, but also our Time nd Availability 2 these stereotyped groups nd othrs who need it 2.
Which is why, as of Right Na (thnx Akon 4 making all my mainstream frnds think that its ok 2 say Na instead of Now... this is sarcasm btw... h8 u 4 this Akon... thought we were frnds.),
I am officially making myself more available 2 u.
Nd I want 2 b able 2 hear from u more.
Want 2 b more connected 2 ur lives.
Want 2 "get" u more.
Ive always been available 4 email... at jose@lanouveau.com
But As Of Right Now... drumroll plz... U can IM josé.
Thats right. Send me an IM, nd I will instantly respond 2 u. Its that easy. This whole InstantMessage thing is so easy/cool. José's screen name = LAnouveau.
I would also love 4 u 2 share in my love of music nd "get" what im listening 2.
Thus, I present u with the info 2 my Last.fm account. My username = lifewow.
Random, I know, but 2 quote Ja'mie King... "You'll get used 2 it."
So there u have it.
Just want evry1 2 feel less Untouched nd more connected 2 José.
>> BONUS BONUSS mp3 THATS RELATED 2 THIS BLOGPOST LOLZIES >>>>
Michelle Branch - All You Wanted
Want u bitches 2 feel Touched all ovr,
José
How 2 B More "Out There Grindin'" nd Other Pieces of Advice
Theres a lot of places u can turn 2 in the InterWeb 2 get advice.
Its 1 of the few good qualities about this mysterious, tumultuous place that ur currently a part of.
But there r srsly so many resources 2 get advice nd learn shit.
There's L.A. Nouveau, a particularly creepy but more-or-less wondrful lil blog where u can learn about hipster couture, what Los Angeles has 2 offer u's, nd other AltBro qualities of living.
There's other blogs like Hipster Runoff aka HRO where u can learn about all diffrnt kinds of Alts by reading a series of hypothetical rhetorical questions asked by the wrld's biggest SketchBro, Carles.
There's UStreetMeet, or University Street Meet, where u can get gr8 fashion advice based on wondrful photographs of random fashionable humans captured nd discussed by 2 coolie lil college students.
There's tons of homeworkhelper sites where u can chit nd chat with othr mentally ill highschool/college/middleskul kiddies who just cant figure out how the fk 2 do their math hwk. All i gotta say 2 this is that these kidlings r a bunch of dumb bogens. Thats why u should just get ur moms+dads 2 fork ovr the money from their trust fund nd pay 4 u 2 go 2 private school. Sry, no offense, but its true.
There's all the diffrnt health-rel8ed advice webbiesites that explain 2 u y ur not feeling so well aftr being diagnosed with HIV ovr 6 yrs ago. Luv u Webmd, now i dont have 2 go 2 a doctor anymore nd pay those stupid meddycal billz, cuz i can get all my questions answered from u. Cant wait til Webmd starts offring a service where u can use Photobooth on ur Macbook Pro 2 take pictures of ur body/sores/problem areas nd it will explain 4 u what the fk is going on.
But srsly, of all the Advice webbysites out there, I have 1 favey.
It's WikiHow. U's have probably heard of it. Any 1, srsly any 1, even if ur one of those dumb publicschool educated kiddies, can write an article 4 WikiHow giving advice 2 ppls evrywhere by explaining how 2 do random shit.
I mention WikiHow 2day bcuz 1 thing i luv about it is the daily "How 2 of the Day" that shows up on my AppleInc.-inspired iGoogle page.
Somedays, the How 2 of the Day is pretty weak/unimportant/total shit.
But 2day is not just any othr day.
Bcuz 2days "Wiki How 2 of the Day" is....
How 2 Grind.
Like, on the dancefloor. Yes, Moms+Dads, scholars, bogens, lilAlts in training evrywhere, if u evr wondered wtf ur teens/20somethings/grandparents were trying 2 do when u assumed they were intending 2 have sex on the dancefloor, it is the art of Grinding.
Want 2 go thru the steps of How 2 Grind with u's now.
Nevr realized that u shouldnt ask ppl if they want 2 grind. Ive always been wondring y I dont do that well on the dancefloors of my favey hiphop/top40 clubs.
Just want to live in a country where I have the freedom 2 ask random ppls if they want 2 grind instead of just asking if they want 2 dance. Cant we just cut 2 the chase? Cum on now.
Thoughts about this photograph:
Luv the photograph. Just want a girl with sexy hips nd equally sexy braces 2 match them.
H8 this photograph. I was srsly just beginning 2 get ovr how shitty of a yr 1942 was. '42 just sucked 4 me in a lot of ways...
- Anne Frank went in2 hiding in that dude's attic that yr.
- The Holocaust went in2 serious full swing that yr.
- Almost 500 ppl were killed in my favey nightclub in Boston, the Cocoanut Grove. Miss partying there aftr RedSox games.
- The ManhattanProject, u know, the secret project where they invented the Atomic Bomb, initiated the wrld's 1st evr Nuclear Chain Reaction. Ive felt much less safer evryday since...
Just want 2 get ovr what a shitshow of a yr 1942 was.
Lets move on.
Just lettin u's all now, I think u can get arrested in certain parts of the wrld 4 initating "Grinding Chains"... so b careful when attempting this final step.
Thnx WikiHow 4 entertaining me/u's/us all yet again.
Now im just waiting 4 a WikiHow article on how 2 more effectively use IcyHot/TigerBalm...
** HINT: Future BlogPost about this topic CUMING SOON LOLZ **
Get ur bitch grinding on the floor thanks 2 advicewebsites,
José
Its 1 of the few good qualities about this mysterious, tumultuous place that ur currently a part of.
But there r srsly so many resources 2 get advice nd learn shit.
There's L.A. Nouveau, a particularly creepy but more-or-less wondrful lil blog where u can learn about hipster couture, what Los Angeles has 2 offer u's, nd other AltBro qualities of living.
There's other blogs like Hipster Runoff aka HRO where u can learn about all diffrnt kinds of Alts by reading a series of hypothetical rhetorical questions asked by the wrld's biggest SketchBro, Carles.
There's UStreetMeet, or University Street Meet, where u can get gr8 fashion advice based on wondrful photographs of random fashionable humans captured nd discussed by 2 coolie lil college students.
There's tons of homeworkhelper sites where u can chit nd chat with othr mentally ill highschool/college/middleskul kiddies who just cant figure out how the fk 2 do their math hwk. All i gotta say 2 this is that these kidlings r a bunch of dumb bogens. Thats why u should just get ur moms+dads 2 fork ovr the money from their trust fund nd pay 4 u 2 go 2 private school. Sry, no offense, but its true.
There's all the diffrnt health-rel8ed advice webbiesites that explain 2 u y ur not feeling so well aftr being diagnosed with HIV ovr 6 yrs ago. Luv u Webmd, now i dont have 2 go 2 a doctor anymore nd pay those stupid meddycal billz, cuz i can get all my questions answered from u. Cant wait til Webmd starts offring a service where u can use Photobooth on ur Macbook Pro 2 take pictures of ur body/sores/problem areas nd it will explain 4 u what the fk is going on.
But srsly, of all the Advice webbysites out there, I have 1 favey.
It's WikiHow. U's have probably heard of it. Any 1, srsly any 1, even if ur one of those dumb publicschool educated kiddies, can write an article 4 WikiHow giving advice 2 ppls evrywhere by explaining how 2 do random shit.
I mention WikiHow 2day bcuz 1 thing i luv about it is the daily "How 2 of the Day" that shows up on my AppleInc.-inspired iGoogle page.
Somedays, the How 2 of the Day is pretty weak/unimportant/total shit.
But 2day is not just any othr day.
Bcuz 2days "Wiki How 2 of the Day" is....
How 2 Grind.
Like, on the dancefloor. Yes, Moms+Dads, scholars, bogens, lilAlts in training evrywhere, if u evr wondered wtf ur teens/20somethings/grandparents were trying 2 do when u assumed they were intending 2 have sex on the dancefloor, it is the art of Grinding.
Want 2 go thru the steps of How 2 Grind with u's now.
Nevr realized that u shouldnt ask ppl if they want 2 grind. Ive always been wondring y I dont do that well on the dancefloors of my favey hiphop/top40 clubs.
Just want to live in a country where I have the freedom 2 ask random ppls if they want 2 grind instead of just asking if they want 2 dance. Cant we just cut 2 the chase? Cum on now.
Thoughts about this photograph:
Luv the photograph. Just want a girl with sexy hips nd equally sexy braces 2 match them.
H8 this photograph. I was srsly just beginning 2 get ovr how shitty of a yr 1942 was. '42 just sucked 4 me in a lot of ways...
- Anne Frank went in2 hiding in that dude's attic that yr.
- The Holocaust went in2 serious full swing that yr.
- Almost 500 ppl were killed in my favey nightclub in Boston, the Cocoanut Grove. Miss partying there aftr RedSox games.
- The ManhattanProject, u know, the secret project where they invented the Atomic Bomb, initiated the wrld's 1st evr Nuclear Chain Reaction. Ive felt much less safer evryday since...
Just want 2 get ovr what a shitshow of a yr 1942 was.
Lets move on.
Just lettin u's all now, I think u can get arrested in certain parts of the wrld 4 initating "Grinding Chains"... so b careful when attempting this final step.
Thnx WikiHow 4 entertaining me/u's/us all yet again.
Now im just waiting 4 a WikiHow article on how 2 more effectively use IcyHot/TigerBalm...
** HINT: Future BlogPost about this topic CUMING SOON LOLZ **
Get ur bitch grinding on the floor thanks 2 advicewebsites,
José
1.27.2009
Where in the Wrld of L.A. is José?: Mali'bu
L.A. Nouveau, ur favey lil L.A.-related hipster AltLife blog proudly presents...
A Way 4 u 2 understand a lil more about where this blog cums from.
A Way 4 u 2 gather more facts about places u might want 2 go.
A Way 4 u 2 relate better 2 ur favey L.A.-based TVshows/movies/etc.
A Way 4 u 2 connect 2 the city that is Los Angeles, California.
This. Is.
Where in the Wrld of L.A. is José?
Where I will introduce u 2 a place that ive traveled 2, discovered alongside my trusty L.A. Nouveau interns, nd am bringing info back 2 u.
So on the first official post of Where in the Wrld of L.A. is José, I bring u 2 a place where the pollution of downtown is less apparent, where the hipsters usually dont venture up 2, where the ppl r often as beautiful as the oceanfront views.
I bring u 2...
The 'Bu.
Welcome 2 Malibu.
Love the SurfLife/AltLife/broLife.
The town of Malibu itself is pretty small... rly just runs along the PCH (pacific coast highway 4 all u non-LAers). Bcuz it sits right along the mountains on the coast.
There r a lot of hellz expensive homes up in these moutains.
There r a lot of hellz expensive ppl there 2.
But a trip 2 Malibu doesnt have 2 kill ur budget.
Nd while there's a lot of beautiful StatePark beaches that will cost u money 2 park nd stay, there r a few free beaches.
1 in particular, Point Dume State Beach, is totally free nd right across the street from Pepperdine University. aka Where ur slutty "pure-bred" Christian frnds all go 2 school.
Altho its a lil bit of a walk 2 the beach from the entrance 2 Point DUME, which u might b a lil sketched out by at first like we were, there r nice views, nice tidepools, nd it was pretty quiet when me + the interns were there.
Check thems out.
So aftr ur done tanning/blazing/enjoying the beach, if ur looking 2 get some grub, get ready 2 drop some dollas. Bcuz evry restaurant/eating establishmnt/etc. around the area is quite pricy, especially if its on the beach.
But sometimes scenery beats quality of food.
So if ur looking 4 some gr8 scenes, go 2 Moonshadows... a place where scholars assemble.
aka The place where that MelGibson dude got a DUI leaving from.
If ur looking 4 cheap eats, just travel down the PCH til u hit SantaMonica nd eat down there.
But prepare urself 4 some breathtaking views, beautiful ppl, nd a great day 2 enjoy the natural beauty of SouthrnCalifornia.
>>>XXX BONUS FOOTAGE FROM THE 'BU HOT CANDY XXX>>>>>
Stay fresh in LA cuz of this Bitchy Gimmick,
José
A Way 4 u 2 understand a lil more about where this blog cums from.
A Way 4 u 2 gather more facts about places u might want 2 go.
A Way 4 u 2 relate better 2 ur favey L.A.-based TVshows/movies/etc.
A Way 4 u 2 connect 2 the city that is Los Angeles, California.
This. Is.
Where in the Wrld of L.A. is José?
Where I will introduce u 2 a place that ive traveled 2, discovered alongside my trusty L.A. Nouveau interns, nd am bringing info back 2 u.
So on the first official post of Where in the Wrld of L.A. is José, I bring u 2 a place where the pollution of downtown is less apparent, where the hipsters usually dont venture up 2, where the ppl r often as beautiful as the oceanfront views.
I bring u 2...
The 'Bu.
Welcome 2 Malibu.
Love the SurfLife/AltLife/broLife.
The town of Malibu itself is pretty small... rly just runs along the PCH (pacific coast highway 4 all u non-LAers). Bcuz it sits right along the mountains on the coast.
There r a lot of hellz expensive homes up in these moutains.
There r a lot of hellz expensive ppl there 2.
But a trip 2 Malibu doesnt have 2 kill ur budget.
Nd while there's a lot of beautiful StatePark beaches that will cost u money 2 park nd stay, there r a few free beaches.
1 in particular, Point Dume State Beach, is totally free nd right across the street from Pepperdine University. aka Where ur slutty "pure-bred" Christian frnds all go 2 school.
Altho its a lil bit of a walk 2 the beach from the entrance 2 Point DUME, which u might b a lil sketched out by at first like we were, there r nice views, nice tidepools, nd it was pretty quiet when me + the interns were there.
Check thems out.
So aftr ur done tanning/blazing/enjoying the beach, if ur looking 2 get some grub, get ready 2 drop some dollas. Bcuz evry restaurant/eating establishmnt/etc. around the area is quite pricy, especially if its on the beach.
But sometimes scenery beats quality of food.
So if ur looking 4 some gr8 scenes, go 2 Moonshadows... a place where scholars assemble.
aka The place where that MelGibson dude got a DUI leaving from.
If ur looking 4 cheap eats, just travel down the PCH til u hit SantaMonica nd eat down there.
But prepare urself 4 some breathtaking views, beautiful ppl, nd a great day 2 enjoy the natural beauty of SouthrnCalifornia.
>>>XXX BONUS FOOTAGE FROM THE 'BU HOT CANDY XXX>>>>>
Stay fresh in LA cuz of this Bitchy Gimmick,
José
1.26.2009
Life = Lots of Pairing Off, Sexually nd NonSexually.
As I look 2 b more Independent in my daily life, I have cum 2 realize something:
My AltLyfe is often expressed by pairs.
\\\
While I usually strive 4 wholeness, 1ness, nd Hipster IndieBeing, I guess Jesus nd othr suppliers of wrld order wanted 2 make certain things totally pair-able.
I s'pose that its time 4 me 2 more fairly acknowledge these great Pairs in my life.
I'd also like 2 point out that the wrd Pairs would b Paris if u switched the R nd I.
Miss u Paris.
But lets not emotionally digress 2 much.
Main point: I guess some things cum best in 2s.
Like these scholarly exmpls:
There's my Mom+Dad... creating humans like its nobodys business.
There's TheCobraSnake+SteveAoki... DJing+phototaking all ovr the CircularEarth.
There's Shampoo+Conditioner... cuz my hair = a defining feature of my Altness.
There's Me+N.D.... An AltBro just isnt cumplete without his OhSoHipster BFFL.
There's TomsShoes+MyFeet... my Toms always keep me cozy chic nd socialitely philanthropic.
There's SocialiteInNowhereland+AllyMarcus... the 2 officially designated "Frnd of L.A. Nouveau" blogs created by the same slutty soul.
There's Girls+CrystalMeth... cuz life is always more fun with a lil meth. Don't wry about losing urself, srsly.
[photo cred = SiNomatic]
Nd finally,
One last 1 that's SUPER relevant 2 right now:
There's The Bird + The Bee.
If u dont know them/their music, then get with the program nd thank god that u have L.A. Nouveau by ur side.
Cuz their folkElectro funkiness is blissful/fun/energetic/beautiful.
The othr pair, bsides the 1 in their name, is Inara George nd Greg Kurstin, who make up The Bird and the Bee.
Their debut album had popular faveys like "Fucking Boyfriend" and "La La La", which im sure u's have heard. It's on their My-spAce if u havent...
But their latest album, titled Ray Guns Are Not Just the Future, cums out 2MORROW/TMRW/2mrw.
This second album is no sophomore slump... its more dancy nd even more exciting than the first album nd has some great tracks that I already cant stop listening 2.
Enjoy 2 tracks off their new album, nd remembr 2 buy it 2morrow.
The Bird and the Bee - Love Letter to Japan
The Bird and the Bee - Witch
The best bitches often cum in 2's,
José
My AltLyfe is often expressed by pairs.
\\\
While I usually strive 4 wholeness, 1ness, nd Hipster IndieBeing, I guess Jesus nd othr suppliers of wrld order wanted 2 make certain things totally pair-able.
I s'pose that its time 4 me 2 more fairly acknowledge these great Pairs in my life.
I'd also like 2 point out that the wrd Pairs would b Paris if u switched the R nd I.
Miss u Paris.
But lets not emotionally digress 2 much.
Main point: I guess some things cum best in 2s.
Like these scholarly exmpls:
There's my Mom+Dad... creating humans like its nobodys business.
There's TheCobraSnake+SteveAoki... DJing+phototaking all ovr the CircularEarth.
There's Shampoo+Conditioner... cuz my hair = a defining feature of my Altness.
There's Me+N.D.... An AltBro just isnt cumplete without his OhSoHipster BFFL.
There's TomsShoes+MyFeet... my Toms always keep me cozy chic nd socialitely philanthropic.
There's SocialiteInNowhereland+AllyMarcus... the 2 officially designated "Frnd of L.A. Nouveau" blogs created by the same slutty soul.
There's Girls+CrystalMeth... cuz life is always more fun with a lil meth. Don't wry about losing urself, srsly.
[photo cred = SiNomatic]
Nd finally,
One last 1 that's SUPER relevant 2 right now:
There's The Bird + The Bee.
If u dont know them/their music, then get with the program nd thank god that u have L.A. Nouveau by ur side.
Cuz their folkElectro funkiness is blissful/fun/energetic/beautiful.
The othr pair, bsides the 1 in their name, is Inara George nd Greg Kurstin, who make up The Bird and the Bee.
Their debut album had popular faveys like "Fucking Boyfriend" and "La La La", which im sure u's have heard. It's on their My-spAce if u havent...
But their latest album, titled Ray Guns Are Not Just the Future, cums out 2MORROW/TMRW/2mrw.
This second album is no sophomore slump... its more dancy nd even more exciting than the first album nd has some great tracks that I already cant stop listening 2.
Enjoy 2 tracks off their new album, nd remembr 2 buy it 2morrow.
The Bird and the Bee - Love Letter to Japan
The Bird and the Bee - Witch
The best bitches often cum in 2's,
José
1.24.2009
U Have the Power 2 "Win A Free Vacation"
I am in need of a vacation.
But not just any vacation.
I need a vacation from the InterWeb.
I/u’s/we all need a lil Vacation from the InterWeb.
I know it sounds scary.
Cuz srsly. What the fk r we doing if we’re not using the InterWeb?
Nd i know the fears that r running thru ur mind as I suggest this vacation.
- How am i gonna poke my bffls? I CANT LOSE THIS POKE WAR LOLZ
- How will i read about whats going on in the wrld? but by “whats going on in the wrld” i mean like where LinsdayLohan and SammyRonson were this wknd. NEED 2 KEEP TRACK OF MY FAVEY CELEBEYS LOLZ
- How will i maintain a stable relationship with my boyfrnd while he’s on patrol in Chechnya? I CANT LAST A DAY W/OUT SKYPE-BERSEX HEHE
- How will i check my stocks so i know when 2 pull out? I REFUSE 2 ADMIT THAT ITS A LIL 2 LATE 2 TAKE MY MONEYS OUT OF LEHMAN BROS LOLZ
- How am i gonna know what HipsterRunoff is bitching about? What if he cums out of the closet while I’m offline? NEED HRO’s BULLSHIT IN MY LYFE OR ELSE I WILL DECUMPOSE LOLZERS
I get ur fears. Srsly.
But i feel like im 2 controlled by the InterWeb.
I feel like ive fallen subject 2 the evils of the InterWeb.
I'm pretty sure my frnd Jesus Christ warned me about succumbing 2 the InterWeb once.
Just feel like if I cant rely/do.my.life/function without the InterWeb, then what does that say about me?
I want 2 b independent.
I want 2 b free.
I want 2 b my own Species.
I want 2 have the power 2 b free from the InterWeb.
Nd so should u.
I want 2 not b constantly worried what new ViralVideo is getting millionz of plays on the YouTube.
I want 2 not live in fear that my frnds nd familymembers r all dead bcuz they havent updated their fb status in a lil while.
I want 2 not feel like i shouldnt go 2 the gym bcuz i might get a rly important life-changing wall post in the next 30 min.
I want 2 not have 2 pray evry night that my creditcard info isnt stolen by that SwearItsFree pornsite that I "accidentally" signed up 4 a few mnths ago.
I want 2 b free from the InterWeb if i choose 2 b.
Thus, I will clrly b checking my blogstats all day, uploading new fb pixxx of my frnds at the beach/at a bar/at a new club opening/jumping off a roof, nd blogging once again l8r today.
Cant escape the bitchiness of the IntrWebbb,
José
But not just any vacation.
I need a vacation from the InterWeb.
I/u’s/we all need a lil Vacation from the InterWeb.
I know it sounds scary.
Cuz srsly. What the fk r we doing if we’re not using the InterWeb?
Nd i know the fears that r running thru ur mind as I suggest this vacation.
- How am i gonna poke my bffls? I CANT LOSE THIS POKE WAR LOLZ
- How will i read about whats going on in the wrld? but by “whats going on in the wrld” i mean like where LinsdayLohan and SammyRonson were this wknd. NEED 2 KEEP TRACK OF MY FAVEY CELEBEYS LOLZ
- How will i maintain a stable relationship with my boyfrnd while he’s on patrol in Chechnya? I CANT LAST A DAY W/OUT SKYPE-BERSEX HEHE
- How will i check my stocks so i know when 2 pull out? I REFUSE 2 ADMIT THAT ITS A LIL 2 LATE 2 TAKE MY MONEYS OUT OF LEHMAN BROS LOLZ
- How am i gonna know what HipsterRunoff is bitching about? What if he cums out of the closet while I’m offline? NEED HRO’s BULLSHIT IN MY LYFE OR ELSE I WILL DECUMPOSE LOLZERS
I get ur fears. Srsly.
But i feel like im 2 controlled by the InterWeb.
I feel like ive fallen subject 2 the evils of the InterWeb.
I'm pretty sure my frnd Jesus Christ warned me about succumbing 2 the InterWeb once.
Just feel like if I cant rely/do.my.life/function without the InterWeb, then what does that say about me?
I want 2 b independent.
I want 2 b free.
I want 2 b my own Species.
I want 2 have the power 2 b free from the InterWeb.
Nd so should u.
I want 2 not b constantly worried what new ViralVideo is getting millionz of plays on the YouTube.
I want 2 not live in fear that my frnds nd familymembers r all dead bcuz they havent updated their fb status in a lil while.
I want 2 not feel like i shouldnt go 2 the gym bcuz i might get a rly important life-changing wall post in the next 30 min.
I want 2 not have 2 pray evry night that my creditcard info isnt stolen by that SwearItsFree pornsite that I "accidentally" signed up 4 a few mnths ago.
I want 2 b free from the InterWeb if i choose 2 b.
Thus, I will clrly b checking my blogstats all day, uploading new fb pixxx of my frnds at the beach/at a bar/at a new club opening/jumping off a roof, nd blogging once again l8r today.
Cant escape the bitchiness of the IntrWebbb,
José
1.21.2009
Cliché Scholars in My Self-Created Classroom of Doom
This is a BlogPost about humans. Nd how they never cease 2 often frustrate me.
This is a BlogPost about headaches. Nd how humans r often the reason I get them.
This is a BlogPost about CuntyMoms. Nd how I’m currently surrounded by tons of them.
This is a BlogPost about clichés. Nd how theyre always visible at any age/at any time/in any environment. But r especially painful/obvious/problematic among tweens/teens/20somethings/choose.ur.own.cunty.AgeGroup
Let me describe 2 u the setting I am mentally placing myself in.
I’m in a small classroom.
I’m not a student, just a mere obsrvr.
Just wanting some education in my learning-curved life.
Just looking 4 some entertainment in this classroom of scholars.
In this learning locale, there is a smudgy blackboard, a lot of filled chairs, nd some eyesore lights.
If this space was stripped of its current inhabitants, it would b a pretty standard-looking room 2 take a class in/have a study date in/get nasty with a teacher in.
But as I mentioned b4, this BlogPost is not about the room itself.
Its about the ppl in it.
Nd most importantly/frustratingly, its the suprbly cliche ppl that r so CuntyMom-esque/headache-enducing.
Exmpls r evrywhere:
- There’s the boy with a fuzzy fauxhawk whose 2k4 glasses r just as unfortunate as his stained red pover-shirt.
- There’s the somewhat female-looking person with a very baggy sweatshirt nd awkward denim who continues 2 doodle about a boy she’ll never get with.
- There’s the backwardsHat-wearing clunky Silver&Gold watch-bearing douchebag who cums in late, probably regularly.
- There’s the AZN with a highschool mascot tshirt nd a white knit sweatr whose jetblack hair is in the wrld’s tightest lil bun.
- There’s the “babe” with diedBlonde hair who has yet 2 stop whining about the difficult ditzy day she’s had.
- There’s the mocha-colored ladylove whose chunky gold heartshaped earring hoops help 2 bring out the gold lining in her babyphat jeans.
- There’s the awkwrdly chubby sonnyboy in the very front who’s sexual dryspell will continue 4 quite some time.
- There’s the tinge-of-ethnic-ness-looking grrrl whose broken english is matched with her obesely-big-eyelashes of doom, despair, nd deception.
- There’s the SuperScruffy SuperSketchy darkhaired SuperStoner who I’m pretty sure is currently eating an eraser.
- There’s the not-so-tough-AZN“dude” whose diamond bling earring reflects a shining light on2 his bad acne breakout.
Basically, Bogens r evrywhere.
If u dont know this spectacular word, then u clrly dont watch Summer Heights High nd/or have clrly nevr been 2 Australia/NewZealand where this word is a staple among slang.
Need a break from the Bogens/CuntyMoms/cliche humans that surround my mentally created classroom.
If u didnt “get” it earlier, the classroom is a metaphor 4 my lyfe nd the students r the humans in my lyfe. Now go back nd re-read this shit knowing its all metaphorical.
Ignant freak.
Metaphorical bitchin’ can get u somewhere,
José
This is a BlogPost about headaches. Nd how humans r often the reason I get them.
This is a BlogPost about CuntyMoms. Nd how I’m currently surrounded by tons of them.
This is a BlogPost about clichés. Nd how theyre always visible at any age/at any time/in any environment. But r especially painful/obvious/problematic among tweens/teens/20somethings/choose.ur.own.cunty.AgeGroup
Let me describe 2 u the setting I am mentally placing myself in.
I’m in a small classroom.
I’m not a student, just a mere obsrvr.
Just wanting some education in my learning-curved life.
Just looking 4 some entertainment in this classroom of scholars.
In this learning locale, there is a smudgy blackboard, a lot of filled chairs, nd some eyesore lights.
If this space was stripped of its current inhabitants, it would b a pretty standard-looking room 2 take a class in/have a study date in/get nasty with a teacher in.
But as I mentioned b4, this BlogPost is not about the room itself.
Its about the ppl in it.
Nd most importantly/frustratingly, its the suprbly cliche ppl that r so CuntyMom-esque/headache-enducing.
Exmpls r evrywhere:
- There’s the boy with a fuzzy fauxhawk whose 2k4 glasses r just as unfortunate as his stained red pover-shirt.
- There’s the somewhat female-looking person with a very baggy sweatshirt nd awkward denim who continues 2 doodle about a boy she’ll never get with.
- There’s the backwardsHat-wearing clunky Silver&Gold watch-bearing douchebag who cums in late, probably regularly.
- There’s the AZN with a highschool mascot tshirt nd a white knit sweatr whose jetblack hair is in the wrld’s tightest lil bun.
- There’s the “babe” with diedBlonde hair who has yet 2 stop whining about the difficult ditzy day she’s had.
- There’s the mocha-colored ladylove whose chunky gold heartshaped earring hoops help 2 bring out the gold lining in her babyphat jeans.
- There’s the awkwrdly chubby sonnyboy in the very front who’s sexual dryspell will continue 4 quite some time.
- There’s the tinge-of-ethnic-ness-looking grrrl whose broken english is matched with her obesely-big-eyelashes of doom, despair, nd deception.
- There’s the SuperScruffy SuperSketchy darkhaired SuperStoner who I’m pretty sure is currently eating an eraser.
- There’s the not-so-tough-AZN“dude” whose diamond bling earring reflects a shining light on2 his bad acne breakout.
Basically, Bogens r evrywhere.
If u dont know this spectacular word, then u clrly dont watch Summer Heights High nd/or have clrly nevr been 2 Australia/NewZealand where this word is a staple among slang.
Need a break from the Bogens/CuntyMoms/cliche humans that surround my mentally created classroom.
If u didnt “get” it earlier, the classroom is a metaphor 4 my lyfe nd the students r the humans in my lyfe. Now go back nd re-read this shit knowing its all metaphorical.
Ignant freak.
Metaphorical bitchin’ can get u somewhere,
José
NouveauMusic: Since U Been Gone, or something like it.
I want 2 quickly give u some music. Nd in doing so, I'm gonna try 2 avoid talking about that KellyClarkson girl's newish song. But all I wanna do is talk about it nd hear ur opinion on it nd revel in it etc.
So lets chit and chat about it.
A. Lets discuss the TITLE. It's called "MY LYFE WOULD SUCK W/OUT U"
Nd I have 2 admit, while i rly dont want 2 "get" what she's trying 2 say, i think i might sorta kinda maybe do totally "get" it.
While we all strive 2 b the most indiependent/hipster/AltErnative human out there, sometimes there r those ppl that cum in2 ur life who u just wouldnt want 2 do life without.
4 the few of u out there who have Frnds, u understand what i mean by this.
While many a day goes by where all i want 2 do is live in Solitude,
There r some ppl that my life would srsly suck without.
4 exmpl:
LifeWouldSuckWithout...
Obama.
LifeWouldSuckWithout...
Kermit the Frog.
LifeWouldSuckWithout...
Uffie.
LifeWouldSuckWithout...
Coachella.
LifeWouldSuckWithout...
CuntyMoms/Hipster VIP's
LifeWouldSuckWithout...
U's. All of u's.
Secretly want 2 give some more specific shoutouts here, but simultaneously dont want 2 b the biggest CuntyMom ever by doing so.
But feel free, liberated nd obligated 2 share some ppl in ur life who "life would suck without".
Nd second of all, enjoy this slighty.too.dancy / not.deep.enuff / yet.anothr.poptastic Kelly Clarkson track.
Nd 4 the rcrd, u will almost nevr evr see this mainstream of a track posted on L.A. Nouveau again. So dont get 2 freaked out/excited.
Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You
Bitches 4ever united here somehow,
José
So lets chit and chat about it.
A. Lets discuss the TITLE. It's called "MY LYFE WOULD SUCK W/OUT U"
Nd I have 2 admit, while i rly dont want 2 "get" what she's trying 2 say, i think i might sorta kinda maybe do totally "get" it.
While we all strive 2 b the most indiependent/hipster/AltErnative human out there, sometimes there r those ppl that cum in2 ur life who u just wouldnt want 2 do life without.
4 the few of u out there who have Frnds, u understand what i mean by this.
While many a day goes by where all i want 2 do is live in Solitude,
There r some ppl that my life would srsly suck without.
4 exmpl:
LifeWouldSuckWithout...
Obama.
LifeWouldSuckWithout...
Kermit the Frog.
LifeWouldSuckWithout...
Uffie.
LifeWouldSuckWithout...
Coachella.
LifeWouldSuckWithout...
CuntyMoms/Hipster VIP's
LifeWouldSuckWithout...
U's. All of u's.
Secretly want 2 give some more specific shoutouts here, but simultaneously dont want 2 b the biggest CuntyMom ever by doing so.
But feel free, liberated nd obligated 2 share some ppl in ur life who "life would suck without".
Nd second of all, enjoy this slighty.too.dancy / not.deep.enuff / yet.anothr.poptastic Kelly Clarkson track.
Nd 4 the rcrd, u will almost nevr evr see this mainstream of a track posted on L.A. Nouveau again. So dont get 2 freaked out/excited.
Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck Without You
Bitches 4ever united here somehow,
José
1.20.2009
Sweet Land of Liberty, of Thee I Blog
Oh. My. God.
It's so hot... etc etc
But srsly.
Oh. My. God.
This day is finally here.
JanuaryTwentieth is Finally Here.
No, I'm not talking about the historically significant day when Sudanese govt imposed Islamic law nationwide, creating even worsening civil war btween the Muslim north and Christian south. Lolfest. ///
No, bitches.
I'm talking about InaugurationDay2kNine.
aka the L.A. Nouveau NewsCntr presents 2day as:
The Day Barack Obama is officially my Prez.
As of 2day, as of now, as of this moment in time,
Barack.Hussein.Obama is my country's President.
Nd I couldnt b more happy/excited/relieved/empowered/spiritual/choose.ur.own.incredible.emotional.feeling.
Nd now I just wanna b part of it all.
I'm excited 4 all my hard work at getting Barry elected to b finally paid off.
Want 2 celebrate by buying novelty items 2 commemorate this day.
Want 2 join in with evry1 else as we all stand b4 the NationalMall.
Want 2 beat the crowds nd get 2 the front of the Mall so I can see Barack up close.
Want 2 host an Inauguration AftrParty in my hotel room down the street from the Capitol Bldg.
Want 2 meet up with all the BeltwayBitches that I have met ovr the yrs 2 celebrate 2gether.
Want 2 take a train tour down the WestCoast like Obama did on the EastCoast so that evry1 can meet me/get 2 know me/get my autograph/understand my leadership qualities/b part of the spiritual moment that I will supply 2 them.
Srsly. I have the power 2 b the next spiritual awakening. Nd so u do.
BarackObama, U rly r inspiring.
Thnx 4 giving me hope that as a Human of nonBland ancestory, I can still succeed.
Hope u's will still read L.A. Nouveau aftr finding out that my ancestory isnt blander than a Chicken.Mayo.Cheese.Sandwich.onWhiteBread.
Also, a just as wondrful aspect of 2day: Dubya is ovr.
The bullshit last 8yrs is finally ovr.
The fear I have 4 that whole administration is now lifted.
The dumbest prezzy evr, except 4 maybe Millard Fillmore (what a lil skeeze), is finally DUNZO.
Trying 2 figure out how much time its gonna take 4 my life 2 get superbly bettr now that Bush is out of the WhiteHouse.
Will all my dreams quickly cum true?
Will I get that payraise that I've always wanted?
Will more ppl accept my political identification now?
Will the whole sky fill up with blueishgreenishaqua clouds that will pour out happiness nd sunshine?
Will evryday b like another day in Coto de Caza?
** TEASER possible-future-"Where in the Wrld of L.A. is José"-location TEASER**
Just cant wait 2 not have 2 say PresidentElect Obama.
So brilliantly happy that its now just "President Obama".
Cum on get happy my bitches,
José
It's so hot... etc etc
But srsly.
Oh. My. God.
This day is finally here.
JanuaryTwentieth is Finally Here.
No, I'm not talking about the historically significant day when Sudanese govt imposed Islamic law nationwide, creating even worsening civil war btween the Muslim north and Christian south. Lolfest. ///
No, bitches.
I'm talking about InaugurationDay2kNine.
aka the L.A. Nouveau NewsCntr presents 2day as:
The Day Barack Obama is officially my Prez.
As of 2day, as of now, as of this moment in time,
Barack.Hussein.Obama is my country's President.
Nd I couldnt b more happy/excited/relieved/empowered/spiritual/choose.ur.own.incredible.emotional.feeling.
Nd now I just wanna b part of it all.
I'm excited 4 all my hard work at getting Barry elected to b finally paid off.
Want 2 celebrate by buying novelty items 2 commemorate this day.
Want 2 join in with evry1 else as we all stand b4 the NationalMall.
Want 2 beat the crowds nd get 2 the front of the Mall so I can see Barack up close.
Want 2 host an Inauguration AftrParty in my hotel room down the street from the Capitol Bldg.
Want 2 meet up with all the BeltwayBitches that I have met ovr the yrs 2 celebrate 2gether.
Want 2 take a train tour down the WestCoast like Obama did on the EastCoast so that evry1 can meet me/get 2 know me/get my autograph/understand my leadership qualities/b part of the spiritual moment that I will supply 2 them.
Srsly. I have the power 2 b the next spiritual awakening. Nd so u do.
BarackObama, U rly r inspiring.
Thnx 4 giving me hope that as a Human of nonBland ancestory, I can still succeed.
Hope u's will still read L.A. Nouveau aftr finding out that my ancestory isnt blander than a Chicken.Mayo.Cheese.Sandwich.onWhiteBread.
Also, a just as wondrful aspect of 2day: Dubya is ovr.
The bullshit last 8yrs is finally ovr.
The fear I have 4 that whole administration is now lifted.
The dumbest prezzy evr, except 4 maybe Millard Fillmore (what a lil skeeze), is finally DUNZO.
Trying 2 figure out how much time its gonna take 4 my life 2 get superbly bettr now that Bush is out of the WhiteHouse.
Will all my dreams quickly cum true?
Will I get that payraise that I've always wanted?
Will more ppl accept my political identification now?
Will the whole sky fill up with blueishgreenishaqua clouds that will pour out happiness nd sunshine?
Will evryday b like another day in Coto de Caza?
** TEASER possible-future-"Where in the Wrld of L.A. is José"-location TEASER**
Just cant wait 2 not have 2 say PresidentElect Obama.
So brilliantly happy that its now just "President Obama".
Cum on get happy my bitches,
José
1.19.2009
Can't Wait 2 Eat nd thus Achieve My Goals
Thinking of going on a hungerstrike.
But srsly.
Lots of noble ppl have done it b4.
Remembr Ghandi?
He did it.
A lot of times 2.
Went 4 three weeks once.
Love/miss u Mahatma.
Othrs did it 2.
- The Irish republicans did it back in the 1910s-20's.
- Gwynfor Evans did it.
Yeah, idk who that broski is either.
But WikiPedia said it, so its gotta b factual.
- Even Ja'mie King did it.
Cuz when ur anti-Hipster highschool Director of Student Life denies u permission 2 have a formal dance, what's a bettr response than 2 hold a Hunger Strike on the playground.
If u dont know what im refrencing / don't know Ja'mie King, let this b the greatest introduction 2 the greatest show ur CuntyBrain will ever see/experience.
Clip.from.SummerHeightsHigh.goes.here:
But srsly.
HungerStrikes are so in right now.
Thus, I'm thinking of doing 1.
Now I need 2 figure out 4 what purpose will my HungerStrike b.
Things I could go on a HungerStrike 4:
- Til I get money 2 pay rent.
- Til I get a job.
- Til I get some blow.
- Til I get free weed.
- Til I get a girlfrnd.
- Til I get a Liberal Govt.
- Til I get more rights about what I can do with my body.
- Til I get 2 go 2 anothr CobraSnake yardsale.
- Til I get 2 have my own yardsale.
- Til I get a new car.
- Til I get a 4-nights-a-week kind of deal like ND offrs.
Gettin excited 2 cum with a reason 2 HungerStrike.
What would u HungerStrike 4?
Share it with the class.
Even more excited 4 my HungerStriking 2 b effective so I can eat again.
Cuz eating = even more "in" right now.
SRSLY. IT FKING IS. BELIEVE ACHIEVE ALL U ANAREX/BULEMEX GRLS.
Can't bitch about this no more without ppl getting disorders,
José
But srsly.
Lots of noble ppl have done it b4.
Remembr Ghandi?
He did it.
A lot of times 2.
Went 4 three weeks once.
Love/miss u Mahatma.
Othrs did it 2.
- The Irish republicans did it back in the 1910s-20's.
- Gwynfor Evans did it.
Yeah, idk who that broski is either.
But WikiPedia said it, so its gotta b factual.
- Even Ja'mie King did it.
Cuz when ur anti-Hipster highschool Director of Student Life denies u permission 2 have a formal dance, what's a bettr response than 2 hold a Hunger Strike on the playground.
If u dont know what im refrencing / don't know Ja'mie King, let this b the greatest introduction 2 the greatest show ur CuntyBrain will ever see/experience.
Clip.from.SummerHeightsHigh.goes.here:
But srsly.
HungerStrikes are so in right now.
Thus, I'm thinking of doing 1.
Now I need 2 figure out 4 what purpose will my HungerStrike b.
Things I could go on a HungerStrike 4:
- Til I get money 2 pay rent.
- Til I get a job.
- Til I get some blow.
- Til I get free weed.
- Til I get a girlfrnd.
- Til I get a Liberal Govt.
- Til I get more rights about what I can do with my body.
- Til I get 2 go 2 anothr CobraSnake yardsale.
- Til I get 2 have my own yardsale.
- Til I get a new car.
- Til I get a 4-nights-a-week kind of deal like ND offrs.
Gettin excited 2 cum with a reason 2 HungerStrike.
What would u HungerStrike 4?
Share it with the class.
Even more excited 4 my HungerStriking 2 b effective so I can eat again.
Cuz eating = even more "in" right now.
SRSLY. IT FKING IS. BELIEVE ACHIEVE ALL U ANAREX/BULEMEX GRLS.
Can't bitch about this no more without ppl getting disorders,
José
Back 2 Bitch With U's 4evermore
If ur reading this, it means i'm not longer alive.
Jokesters. Lolfest. Kidding with u's.
But srsly.
Its good 2 b back.
Hopefully u's dont h8 me 4 not posting recently.
Just want 2 start expressing myself again via the interweb.
Thus lies the question: What has José been up 2 these last nearly hundred hrs that has kept him from L.A. Nouveau?
The answer, my frnds, my lovrs, my brothrs, is that i've been doing some soul-searching.
I've been traveling.
I've been planning.
I've been brainstorming.
Getting ready 4 some major breakthrus 2 rock ur/my/our wrlds.
- I'm hrs away from launching the first official "Where in the Wrld of L.A. is José?" post.
- I'm days away from hosting the first official L.A. Nouveau PartyRager.
- I'm weeks away from getting the first official BlogAdvrtyzers.
- I'm months away from cre8ing an L.A. Nouveau store, where u can buy L.A. Nouveau tees, socks, mugs, Uggs, hugs, ice trays, personalized soda cans, nd much more.
- I'm yrs away from a huge emotional awakening.
- Nd i've just remodeled and reopened the official L.A. Nouveau HeadQuarters.
Talk about an intense few days.
But All in All, im glad im back, im glad ur back, im glad we're all back 2gether on this crazy "rollercoaster ride of emotion".
Cuz i'm ready.
Ready if u are.
Ready 2 make L.A. Nouveau more about u. Want u 2 connect 2 this.
Ready 2 make L.A. Nouveau more "get"able. Need u's 2 comment more so I "get" what ur thinking.
Ready 2 make L.A. Nouveau more funny. Just want this shit 2 b HILARIOUS.
Ready 2 make u LOL.
Ready 2 make u cry.
Ready 2 make u feel good about urselves.
Ready 2 make u want 2 eat again.
Ready if u are.
Ready 2 give u a new hot track.
Found this band, called Air France, like super long ago.
Only had 1 song, it was called 'Beach Party'. It was fun.
Now they're starting 2 get big. Even tho I knew them when they were lil.
They came out with a full album in 2ZroZro8.
Nd now I'm posting a track 4 u's.
It's called "Collapsing At Your Doorstep".
Listen nd dwnload if u like it.
But remember, u gotta right-click the song name now in order 2 dwnload shit.
Thnx Govrnment restrictions.
Air France - Collapsing At Your Doorstep
Peace, ruv, nd excited 2 bitch with u's more,
José
Jokesters. Lolfest. Kidding with u's.
But srsly.
Its good 2 b back.
Hopefully u's dont h8 me 4 not posting recently.
Just want 2 start expressing myself again via the interweb.
Thus lies the question: What has José been up 2 these last nearly hundred hrs that has kept him from L.A. Nouveau?
The answer, my frnds, my lovrs, my brothrs, is that i've been doing some soul-searching.
I've been traveling.
I've been planning.
I've been brainstorming.
Getting ready 4 some major breakthrus 2 rock ur/my/our wrlds.
- I'm hrs away from launching the first official "Where in the Wrld of L.A. is José?" post.
- I'm days away from hosting the first official L.A. Nouveau PartyRager.
- I'm weeks away from getting the first official BlogAdvrtyzers.
- I'm months away from cre8ing an L.A. Nouveau store, where u can buy L.A. Nouveau tees, socks, mugs, Uggs, hugs, ice trays, personalized soda cans, nd much more.
- I'm yrs away from a huge emotional awakening.
- Nd i've just remodeled and reopened the official L.A. Nouveau HeadQuarters.
Talk about an intense few days.
But All in All, im glad im back, im glad ur back, im glad we're all back 2gether on this crazy "rollercoaster ride of emotion".
Cuz i'm ready.
Ready if u are.
Ready 2 make L.A. Nouveau more about u. Want u 2 connect 2 this.
Ready 2 make L.A. Nouveau more "get"able. Need u's 2 comment more so I "get" what ur thinking.
Ready 2 make L.A. Nouveau more funny. Just want this shit 2 b HILARIOUS.
Ready 2 make u LOL.
Ready 2 make u cry.
Ready 2 make u feel good about urselves.
Ready 2 make u want 2 eat again.
Ready if u are.
Ready 2 give u a new hot track.
Found this band, called Air France, like super long ago.
Only had 1 song, it was called 'Beach Party'. It was fun.
Now they're starting 2 get big. Even tho I knew them when they were lil.
They came out with a full album in 2ZroZro8.
Nd now I'm posting a track 4 u's.
It's called "Collapsing At Your Doorstep".
Listen nd dwnload if u like it.
But remember, u gotta right-click the song name now in order 2 dwnload shit.
Thnx Govrnment restrictions.
Air France - Collapsing At Your Doorstep
Peace, ruv, nd excited 2 bitch with u's more,
José
1.14.2009
Tips 4 Relaxation nd How 2 B Less Like Bitch A.
Lets start this intellectual mindFk post by playing a game.
Its called “Do U Know A Bitch Like this?”
The object of the game is 2 determine if u know any bitches like the 1 im about 2 describe. Let’s see how u do.
Good luck.
Bitch A:...
Wakes up at 9:30 in the A-M.
Skips taking a shower bcuz showers r so 2ZroZro8.
Slips on the same pair of jeans that Bitch A has been wearing 4 sixdays.
Runs 2 grab coffee.
Has class at 10.
Gets out at 11:55.
Runs 2 work which Bitch A is supposed 2 start at 12.
Has an Elitist Important Meetng with Bitch A’s Boss at 12:30.
The boss shows up late, meetng goes til 2.
Runs out of the bldg 2 grab more coffee aftr the meeting.
Has a presentation 2 give at 2:30.
Does a WardrobeChange at 3:30 to go 2 Bitch A’s sports team captain job.
1 of the kids accidentally kicks Bitch A in the face during practice.
Bleeds 4 approx 20 min, leaves practice.
Gets home by 6:30, blasts “I Feel So Untouched Right Now” while heating up leftovers from 2 nights prior.
Crams 4 an exam until 8.
Goes out 4 drinks with 2 new frnds, 1 whose gendr is not necessarily clear.
Gets buzzed by 10 P-m, gets drunk by 10:15 P-m, gets home by 10:30 P-m 2 study more 4 Bitch A’s nextDay exam.
Makes a fresh pot of StarbucksSuperMochaMohave coffee.
Reads stimulating blogs b4 bed.
Goes 2 sleep around 1am.
So... Do U Know A Bitch Like this?
R there ppl in ur life who share some similarities to Bitch A?
R u the person who this sounds like?
If u know some1 or are some1 who is similar 2 Bitch A, then congratulations, cuz that person/u r overScheduled.
Which brings me 2 2day’s main point about what suxxx.
So here’s what suxxx.
Being overScheduled.
Its daunting.
Its frustrating.
Its cunty.
Its stressful.
2 put it in the wrds of the most platonic human being evr, it's a "Damn Shame".
Nd 2 b honest, no 1 likes overScheduled ppl.
Cuz they usually r 2 stressed, 2 erratic, 2 pissedoff 2 deal with othr ppl's problems,
Nd r basically the biggest CuntyMoms ever.
Nd I know its been 4ever since ive officially declared this, but I am hereby declaring Bitch A-type ppl as the biggest CuntyMoms of the Week.
So whats there 2 do 2 change this cuntyness, u ask?
Feel like there's no way out of ur overScheduled overWorked underSexed life?
Here's some Advice from the L.A. Nouveau AdviceColumn >>
- Drink more coffee//redbulls//Sparks. Keeps u going longer.
- Watch 30 Rock. Cuz if u associate with this lifestyle, then u will associate well with Liz Lemon.
- Take a WkndGetAway. More info on this is available in a post circa-Nov 0h-8.
- Meet me at Foxwoods.
- Go 2 the Beach nd chill out/surf out/make out with some surferBroskis.
- Write a musical theater production about a stereotyped Group of ppl who tend 2 piss u off as a way 2 channel ur angst/"Emotions."
- Choose.ur.own.Coping.Method
Would love 2 hear some of u's coping methods / ways u relax / ways u reduce ur own Cuntyness. Sharing is caring yall. U could b helping ur fellow reader/blogger/hipster/bitch A.
Remember the "Give It Away" theme 4 2kNine.
Get out of ur betchteeming life,
José
Its called “Do U Know A Bitch Like this?”
The object of the game is 2 determine if u know any bitches like the 1 im about 2 describe. Let’s see how u do.
Good luck.
Bitch A:...
Wakes up at 9:30 in the A-M.
Skips taking a shower bcuz showers r so 2ZroZro8.
Slips on the same pair of jeans that Bitch A has been wearing 4 sixdays.
Runs 2 grab coffee.
Has class at 10.
Gets out at 11:55.
Runs 2 work which Bitch A is supposed 2 start at 12.
Has an Elitist Important Meetng with Bitch A’s Boss at 12:30.
The boss shows up late, meetng goes til 2.
Runs out of the bldg 2 grab more coffee aftr the meeting.
Has a presentation 2 give at 2:30.
Does a WardrobeChange at 3:30 to go 2 Bitch A’s sports team captain job.
1 of the kids accidentally kicks Bitch A in the face during practice.
Bleeds 4 approx 20 min, leaves practice.
Gets home by 6:30, blasts “I Feel So Untouched Right Now” while heating up leftovers from 2 nights prior.
Crams 4 an exam until 8.
Goes out 4 drinks with 2 new frnds, 1 whose gendr is not necessarily clear.
Gets buzzed by 10 P-m, gets drunk by 10:15 P-m, gets home by 10:30 P-m 2 study more 4 Bitch A’s nextDay exam.
Makes a fresh pot of StarbucksSuperMochaMohave coffee.
Reads stimulating blogs b4 bed.
Goes 2 sleep around 1am.
So... Do U Know A Bitch Like this?
R there ppl in ur life who share some similarities to Bitch A?
R u the person who this sounds like?
If u know some1 or are some1 who is similar 2 Bitch A, then congratulations, cuz that person/u r overScheduled.
Which brings me 2 2day’s main point about what suxxx.
So here’s what suxxx.
Being overScheduled.
Its daunting.
Its frustrating.
Its cunty.
Its stressful.
2 put it in the wrds of the most platonic human being evr, it's a "Damn Shame".
Nd 2 b honest, no 1 likes overScheduled ppl.
Cuz they usually r 2 stressed, 2 erratic, 2 pissedoff 2 deal with othr ppl's problems,
Nd r basically the biggest CuntyMoms ever.
Nd I know its been 4ever since ive officially declared this, but I am hereby declaring Bitch A-type ppl as the biggest CuntyMoms of the Week.
So whats there 2 do 2 change this cuntyness, u ask?
Feel like there's no way out of ur overScheduled overWorked underSexed life?
Here's some Advice from the L.A. Nouveau AdviceColumn >>
- Drink more coffee//redbulls//Sparks. Keeps u going longer.
- Watch 30 Rock. Cuz if u associate with this lifestyle, then u will associate well with Liz Lemon.
- Take a WkndGetAway. More info on this is available in a post circa-Nov 0h-8.
- Meet me at Foxwoods.
- Go 2 the Beach nd chill out/surf out/make out with some surferBroskis.
- Write a musical theater production about a stereotyped Group of ppl who tend 2 piss u off as a way 2 channel ur angst/"Emotions."
- Choose.ur.own.Coping.Method
Would love 2 hear some of u's coping methods / ways u relax / ways u reduce ur own Cuntyness. Sharing is caring yall. U could b helping ur fellow reader/blogger/hipster/bitch A.
Remember the "Give It Away" theme 4 2kNine.
Get out of ur betchteeming life,
José
1.13.2009
The Circle Scarf: God Says Ur Welcome.
A few blogdays ago, I wrote about technology.
Nd how some researches need 2 invent Hipster FormalWears.
Nd while I nagged a lot about how important it is 4 ppl to invent this shit already, I did miss something that I rly shouldve given some credit 2.
Cuz there is an invention made 4 hipsters and all humans alike that rly deserves a lot of credit.
So much credit that it is officially being dclared, right here, right now, as the Best.Product.Ever. by L.A. Nouveau.
Nd the best.Product.ever is...
The
Circle.Scarf
byAmericanApparel.
Ive never seen a more hip/legit/hipster/beautiful/ridiculous/universal clothing product in my entire AltLife.
Let me showcase 2 u its beauty//wondr//legit-ness thru BlogArt:
As u just read, 5 out of the 5 last pictures said "Yes" in response 2 the potential question, "Is the Circle.Scarf the best invention evr?"
How can u not love this piece of amazingly comfortable fabric?
Its stretchy. Its comfy. It feels like heaven. Its beautiful.
AA has done it again.
(Referring 2 AmericanApparel here, not AlcoholicsAnonymous.
U know, like AmAp. AmerAppar. Mer'kanParel. SoHo FoSho. The HipsterGo2 Grocery.)
Nd beyond the mere aesthetic beauty of the Circle.Scarf, its functionality is superior.
U can wear it in 13+ (if ur creative u can cum up with more) ways.
U can wear it as a:
a. Basic.Scarf
b. Shawl
c. HoodedScarf
d. MiniSkirt
e. Headwrappr
f. Choose.ur.own.style
g. even more...
U can srsly do almost anything with this shit.
So my new question is: Y the fk arent u wearing 1?
Cuz y wouldnt u want to?
Who wouldnt want 2 b seen wearing the coolest//freshest//dopest//hollerist//we'regonnacrashapartyist accessory evr?
Y wouldn't u want 2 wrap urself in the most comfortable fabric evr?
But at the same time, I dont want the.Circle.Scarf 2 get too poplar.
Cuz then ill feel mainstreamed nd abused.
Dont want more of that.
But buy 1 4 urself even if u make it go mainstream cuz ur a legit hipster // CuntyMom who needs a wardrobe boost // badass bitch // rated X // ur gifted // aint gotta sell sex.
So Goodbye, u normal-scarf-wearing Hermo.
Nd Hello 2 u, future.Circle.Scarf-wearing cool guy.
Just want 2 write the compound word out 1 more time:
the ////
Circle.Scarf
My-spaced photo-taking bitches "can get it",
José
Nd how some researches need 2 invent Hipster FormalWears.
Nd while I nagged a lot about how important it is 4 ppl to invent this shit already, I did miss something that I rly shouldve given some credit 2.
Cuz there is an invention made 4 hipsters and all humans alike that rly deserves a lot of credit.
So much credit that it is officially being dclared, right here, right now, as the Best.Product.Ever. by L.A. Nouveau.
Nd the best.Product.ever is...
The
Circle.Scarf
byAmericanApparel.
Ive never seen a more hip/legit/hipster/beautiful/ridiculous/universal clothing product in my entire AltLife.
Let me showcase 2 u its beauty//wondr//legit-ness thru BlogArt:
As u just read, 5 out of the 5 last pictures said "Yes" in response 2 the potential question, "Is the Circle.Scarf the best invention evr?"
How can u not love this piece of amazingly comfortable fabric?
Its stretchy. Its comfy. It feels like heaven. Its beautiful.
AA has done it again.
(Referring 2 AmericanApparel here, not AlcoholicsAnonymous.
U know, like AmAp. AmerAppar. Mer'kanParel. SoHo FoSho. The HipsterGo2 Grocery.)
Nd beyond the mere aesthetic beauty of the Circle.Scarf, its functionality is superior.
U can wear it in 13+ (if ur creative u can cum up with more) ways.
U can wear it as a:
a. Basic.Scarf
b. Shawl
c. HoodedScarf
d. MiniSkirt
e. Headwrappr
f. Choose.ur.own.style
g. even more...
U can srsly do almost anything with this shit.
So my new question is: Y the fk arent u wearing 1?
Cuz y wouldnt u want to?
Who wouldnt want 2 b seen wearing the coolest//freshest//dopest//hollerist//we'regonnacrashapartyist accessory evr?
Y wouldn't u want 2 wrap urself in the most comfortable fabric evr?
But at the same time, I dont want the.Circle.Scarf 2 get too poplar.
Cuz then ill feel mainstreamed nd abused.
Dont want more of that.
But buy 1 4 urself even if u make it go mainstream cuz ur a legit hipster // CuntyMom who needs a wardrobe boost // badass bitch // rated X // ur gifted // aint gotta sell sex.
So Goodbye, u normal-scarf-wearing Hermo.
Nd Hello 2 u, future.Circle.Scarf-wearing cool guy.
Just want 2 write the compound word out 1 more time:
the ////
Circle.Scarf
My-spaced photo-taking bitches "can get it",
José
I Still Is Here, I Still Is Loving U LA
It’s back.
Aftr a shocking nd unparalleled 2day hiatus, L.A. Nouveau has returned, sources say.
But srsly.
I got a problem.
Nd im a lil scared.
No joke.
Im scared that im losing my roots.
Dont get me wrong, its nice 2 take some time away from L.A.
But am I neglecting where I cum from?
Am I drifting too far away from the CityofAngels?
I just want u’s 2 all know how dedicated i am 2 the sprawling mess that is LosAngeles.
Just cuz I’m traveling othr places doesn’t mean Ive stopped calling LA my Nouveau home.
I (always have/currently do/will 4 a little while longer) Love L.A.
I dont want u 2 think im some Canada-fleeing CobraSnake-like fella who leaves L.A. 2 his trusted interns. (But 4 the rcrd, his interns r very trusting/the best; got no beef with u CobraSnake, just love/miss u).
Im never gonna stop dreaming about the AmericanApparel WarehouseSales.
Im never gonna stop thinking about chilling with broski frnds at Santa Monica.
Im never gonna stop wondering about whethr my frnds’ homes in the mountains will still b there next yr. (Thnx a lot Wildfires/Mudslides/Earthquakes).
Im never gonna stop denying that “Crash”(theMovie)-like situations actually go down in my hood.
Im never gonna stop believing that we r all equal/all wealthy/all poor/all ignorant/all humans.
Im never gonna stop chasing the L.A. dream.
Maybe I shud b more real.
Someday I will stop doing most of the things i just listed above.
But the fact is that 4 now, I remain true 2 Los Angeles, California.
Nd I plan 2 express my LAalliance more in 2kNine.
Starting with the new L.A. Nouveau featurette that evry1 is hyp'd about...
Let me remind u about
"Where in the Wrld in LA is José?"=A Way 4 the mainstream audience 2 Connect 2 the City of LA better.
Cuming soon 2 an L.A. Nouveau-enabled interwebBrowser near u.
Until then, enjoy some of the hiphop/OffTheMainstreamTrack rap that cums right outta this great//crazy//wtf city that is LA.
Sry if its 2 mainstream/AfrikaanAmerikaan/electronicless 4 u, but its raw sounds so try 2 appreciate some the goodness of it. The song is by legitrapstar Murs with the hiphop producer 9th Wonder.
[click the names 2 see their My-spaces, rightclick the song name 2 dwnload]
Murs & 9th Wonder - L.A.
I'm Frum L.A., Bitch,
José
Aftr a shocking nd unparalleled 2day hiatus, L.A. Nouveau has returned, sources say.
But srsly.
I got a problem.
Nd im a lil scared.
No joke.
Im scared that im losing my roots.
Dont get me wrong, its nice 2 take some time away from L.A.
But am I neglecting where I cum from?
Am I drifting too far away from the CityofAngels?
I just want u’s 2 all know how dedicated i am 2 the sprawling mess that is LosAngeles.
Just cuz I’m traveling othr places doesn’t mean Ive stopped calling LA my Nouveau home.
I (always have/currently do/will 4 a little while longer) Love L.A.
I dont want u 2 think im some Canada-fleeing CobraSnake-like fella who leaves L.A. 2 his trusted interns. (But 4 the rcrd, his interns r very trusting/the best; got no beef with u CobraSnake, just love/miss u).
Im never gonna stop dreaming about the AmericanApparel WarehouseSales.
Im never gonna stop thinking about chilling with broski frnds at Santa Monica.
Im never gonna stop wondering about whethr my frnds’ homes in the mountains will still b there next yr. (Thnx a lot Wildfires/Mudslides/Earthquakes).
Im never gonna stop denying that “Crash”(theMovie)-like situations actually go down in my hood.
Im never gonna stop believing that we r all equal/all wealthy/all poor/all ignorant/all humans.
Im never gonna stop chasing the L.A. dream.
Maybe I shud b more real.
Someday I will stop doing most of the things i just listed above.
But the fact is that 4 now, I remain true 2 Los Angeles, California.
Nd I plan 2 express my LAalliance more in 2kNine.
Starting with the new L.A. Nouveau featurette that evry1 is hyp'd about...
Let me remind u about
"Where in the Wrld in LA is José?"=A Way 4 the mainstream audience 2 Connect 2 the City of LA better.
Cuming soon 2 an L.A. Nouveau-enabled interwebBrowser near u.
Until then, enjoy some of the hiphop/OffTheMainstreamTrack rap that cums right outta this great//crazy//wtf city that is LA.
Sry if its 2 mainstream/AfrikaanAmerikaan/electronicless 4 u, but its raw sounds so try 2 appreciate some the goodness of it. The song is by legitrapstar Murs with the hiphop producer 9th Wonder.
[click the names 2 see their My-spaces, rightclick the song name 2 dwnload]
Murs & 9th Wonder - L.A.
I'm Frum L.A., Bitch,
José
1.10.2009
The 1 Thing in Mainstream Media That Still "Gets" Me
Ever find something in ur life that just "gets" u?
U know, u feel like it knows what ur thinking, it understands ur sense of humor, it picks up on what u need nd what ur looking for...
In this Mainstream=crap society w'all live in, i feel like its bcuming harder nd harder 2 find things that "get" me.
MainsteamMedia h8s hipsters.
But srsly.
MainstreamMedia doesnt "get" ppl like me anymore.
Exmpl: Movies.
MainstreamMovies don't evr "get" me NEmore.
WillFerrell used 2 get me back on SatNiteLive, but doesnt "get" me now. Shame.
Anothr exmpl of mainstream things that don't "get" me NEmore: music.
Still confused y that dude was asking me who he was...
But srsly.
Now I have 2 spend all my time mp3Blogging/hypemachine searching in order 2 find music that "gets" me.
But at least there's 1 thing left in the somewhat mainstream wrld that still "gets" me.
Flight. of. the. Conchords.
Flight of the Conchords just "gets" me.
Bret nd Jemaine totally understand my sense of humor.
They know how i feel nd they know what i need in order 2 find comedic relief.
They're so Alt, yet so mainstream.
So underground, yet so HB-Oh.
Here's some more scattered reasons y they r the best in the form of... u guessd it, BlogArt.
Love/dont miss u now that secondseason of ur tv show is back.
Here's some music//mp3 love in case u dont have their song aka if ur missing out.
Or even if u have it u can just listen to it while browsing L.A. Nouveau. Gr8 concept, ye?
Flight of the Conchords - Ladies of the World
(gotta rightclick this shit nd hit save file... sry u's all).
Just wanna do something special 4 all the bitches of the wrld,
José
U know, u feel like it knows what ur thinking, it understands ur sense of humor, it picks up on what u need nd what ur looking for...
In this Mainstream=crap society w'all live in, i feel like its bcuming harder nd harder 2 find things that "get" me.
MainsteamMedia h8s hipsters.
But srsly.
MainstreamMedia doesnt "get" ppl like me anymore.
Exmpl: Movies.
MainstreamMovies don't evr "get" me NEmore.
WillFerrell used 2 get me back on SatNiteLive, but doesnt "get" me now. Shame.
Anothr exmpl of mainstream things that don't "get" me NEmore: music.
Still confused y that dude was asking me who he was...
But srsly.
Now I have 2 spend all my time mp3Blogging/hypemachine searching in order 2 find music that "gets" me.
But at least there's 1 thing left in the somewhat mainstream wrld that still "gets" me.
Flight. of. the. Conchords.
Flight of the Conchords just "gets" me.
Bret nd Jemaine totally understand my sense of humor.
They know how i feel nd they know what i need in order 2 find comedic relief.
They're so Alt, yet so mainstream.
So underground, yet so HB-Oh.
Here's some more scattered reasons y they r the best in the form of... u guessd it, BlogArt.
Love/dont miss u now that secondseason of ur tv show is back.
Here's some music//mp3 love in case u dont have their song aka if ur missing out.
Or even if u have it u can just listen to it while browsing L.A. Nouveau. Gr8 concept, ye?
Flight of the Conchords - Ladies of the World
(gotta rightclick this shit nd hit save file... sry u's all).
Just wanna do something special 4 all the bitches of the wrld,
José
1.09.2009
Sacrificing Humans 4 Food Just Got Weirder/More Viral
I can't help but love/h8 fb.
I'd b lying if I said it didn't make my social existence easier.
I know what events r going on. I know who was at who's shindig. I know who broke up with who. I know when former-prepsters decide 2 bcum hipster. Etc.
Nd while I use it a lot less now than I may have used 2, I still feel like it has a huge place in my interweb-related life.
But something ive been struggling with 4 the last few days is how many frnds i have.
I think I have 2 many frnds.
I know I have 2 many frnds.
I look on my nuzefeed nd wind up seeing ppl that I dont even know/remember.
I begin asking myself all these questions about their relation 2 me.
"Did i go 2 highschool with them back in the day?"
"Were they in one of my 250 person-sized lectures in college?"
"Did they work at the same job as me at some point?"
"R they a frnd of a frnd who wanted 2 check me out?"
"R they even a real person or did my sketch Indian frnd make them up?"
With these questions nd more, I decided that I should probably take a few hrs 2 go thru my frnds nd delete the ones that I rly don't know/don't care about.
But then I felt funny about it.
Is that morally acceptable?
What if they want 2 reconnect with me in the future?
Am I limiting myself from finding a possible frnd/ally/hookup?
But then this morning, as I debated the question further, I happened 2 stumble upon the weirdest//greatest//saddest fb app that has evr cum 2 surface.
Nd in an effort 2 best discuss it, I WELCUM U 2 ANOTHR EDITION OF the L.A. NOUVEAU NEWSCNTR.
So back 2 this story we're following here at the NewsCntr HeadQuartrs.
The weirdest//greatest//saddest fb app that has evr cum 2 surface.
What is it, u might ask?
I present 2 u: WHOPPER SACRIFICE.
A FB app made by the BurgerKing dining establishment.
In an effort 2 go viral/b cool/"connect" 2 us interweb lovers on a deeper lvl, BurgerKing has created this latest dysfunctional InterwebMeme in the form of a fb app.
The idea is that the fastfood obesityteeming burgerjoint will send u a coupon 4 a FREE WHOPPER... if u "sacrifice" aka delete 10 of ur fb frnds.
But the catch is that the ppl who u "sacrifice" can b made aware that u deleted them cuz the names of the ppl u delete show up in ur/their fb feed.
U can probly delete it, but idk 4 sure.
U can check out the app nd how it works urself. Must I do evrything 4 u ppl?
I s'pose this gimmick thus calls upon the age old question:
Whats more important, ur frnds or free food?
But srsly.
While at first this sounds like the dumbest thing evr, I was planning 2 delete some peeps anyway. Should I just delete 10 so i can get a free burger?
Is it worth having 10 totally random strangers who I dont even rly know find out that I deleted them so I can score a coupon that im never gonna use anyway?
Guess I could give the free burger coupon 2 a frnd as a present.
On the othr hand, drawing attention 2 ppl that I hardly know on fb will be totally awk.
Like, biggest awkfest evr.
Should I instead choose ppl that I know rly well so its not as awk nd then just frndRequest them again latr?
Will this b more acceptable//more funny//the more "in" thing 2 do?
This app has created so many questions/so much confusion 4 me nd my fb dilemma.
What would u's do? Help me out here.
Would any of u's care if some1 unfrnded u just 2 get a free whopper?
Would u do this 2 any of ur close frnds, would u do this 2 random ppl, would u do this at all?
In conclusion, I dont even eat meat.
Lolzers.
FB never ceases 2 bitch me out,
José
I'd b lying if I said it didn't make my social existence easier.
I know what events r going on. I know who was at who's shindig. I know who broke up with who. I know when former-prepsters decide 2 bcum hipster. Etc.
Nd while I use it a lot less now than I may have used 2, I still feel like it has a huge place in my interweb-related life.
But something ive been struggling with 4 the last few days is how many frnds i have.
I think I have 2 many frnds.
I know I have 2 many frnds.
I look on my nuzefeed nd wind up seeing ppl that I dont even know/remember.
I begin asking myself all these questions about their relation 2 me.
"Did i go 2 highschool with them back in the day?"
"Were they in one of my 250 person-sized lectures in college?"
"Did they work at the same job as me at some point?"
"R they a frnd of a frnd who wanted 2 check me out?"
"R they even a real person or did my sketch Indian frnd make them up?"
With these questions nd more, I decided that I should probably take a few hrs 2 go thru my frnds nd delete the ones that I rly don't know/don't care about.
But then I felt funny about it.
Is that morally acceptable?
What if they want 2 reconnect with me in the future?
Am I limiting myself from finding a possible frnd/ally/hookup?
But then this morning, as I debated the question further, I happened 2 stumble upon the weirdest//greatest//saddest fb app that has evr cum 2 surface.
Nd in an effort 2 best discuss it, I WELCUM U 2 ANOTHR EDITION OF the L.A. NOUVEAU NEWSCNTR.
So back 2 this story we're following here at the NewsCntr HeadQuartrs.
The weirdest//greatest//saddest fb app that has evr cum 2 surface.
What is it, u might ask?
I present 2 u: WHOPPER SACRIFICE.
A FB app made by the BurgerKing dining establishment.
In an effort 2 go viral/b cool/"connect" 2 us interweb lovers on a deeper lvl, BurgerKing has created this latest dysfunctional InterwebMeme in the form of a fb app.
The idea is that the fastfood obesityteeming burgerjoint will send u a coupon 4 a FREE WHOPPER... if u "sacrifice" aka delete 10 of ur fb frnds.
But the catch is that the ppl who u "sacrifice" can b made aware that u deleted them cuz the names of the ppl u delete show up in ur/their fb feed.
U can probly delete it, but idk 4 sure.
U can check out the app nd how it works urself. Must I do evrything 4 u ppl?
I s'pose this gimmick thus calls upon the age old question:
Whats more important, ur frnds or free food?
But srsly.
While at first this sounds like the dumbest thing evr, I was planning 2 delete some peeps anyway. Should I just delete 10 so i can get a free burger?
Is it worth having 10 totally random strangers who I dont even rly know find out that I deleted them so I can score a coupon that im never gonna use anyway?
Guess I could give the free burger coupon 2 a frnd as a present.
On the othr hand, drawing attention 2 ppl that I hardly know on fb will be totally awk.
Like, biggest awkfest evr.
Should I instead choose ppl that I know rly well so its not as awk nd then just frndRequest them again latr?
Will this b more acceptable//more funny//the more "in" thing 2 do?
This app has created so many questions/so much confusion 4 me nd my fb dilemma.
What would u's do? Help me out here.
Would any of u's care if some1 unfrnded u just 2 get a free whopper?
Would u do this 2 any of ur close frnds, would u do this 2 random ppl, would u do this at all?
In conclusion, I dont even eat meat.
Lolzers.
FB never ceases 2 bitch me out,
José
1.08.2009
NouveauMusic: Tobacco - Tape Eater
In 2kNine, I will differentiate more btween my LifeCommentary posts nd my mp3//Music posts.
Bcuz as u's and the Hype Machine have all noticed I'm sure, almost evry time I post mp3's, I drop it in at the end of yet anothr one of my epic LifeCommentary posts.
Which by no means r going 2 end.
Cuz those r the true point of L.A. Nouveau.
It's the reason u r here.
It's the reason I sit here evryday cuming up with genius intellectual commentary about the wrld around me nd the new LA life that I'm living.
But dont lie, u also cum here 4 the killer music // mp3s. I know.
Nd I respect that, bcuz good music is harder 2 cum by these days.
So I do the dirty work 4 u.
Nd u get 2 listen nd enjoy.
So without trailing on about the wrld/society/culture/thearts/british soap operas/etc., let me specifically hit u up with some music.
2day I'm handing u a taste of Tobacco.
No, not the shit that will give u lung cancer.
The artist Tobacco.
aka Frontman 4 the super-tripppy super-psychedelic group Black Moth Super Rainbow.
In case u missed it, Tobacco was actually the 1st artist evr posted on L.A. Nouveau back in its 1st post evr. Crazy 2 think about the time thats passed since then.
NEWays, if ur in2 trippy/psychedelic/electronic music nd u like Black Moth Super Rainbow, ur sure 2 love Tobacco's debut album Fucked Up Friends.
Plus the albumartwork is superbly epic, not like u care or anything, but just in case.
Wish my frnds were more in2 experimenting so I could see them looking like this dude on the cover. N.D. I promise I wont take 2 many pictures/videos nd wont tell ur folks back home if ur interested in acid/LSD.
Here's an underrated more chilledout track called "Tape Eater".
Tobacco - "Tape Eater"
Mp3ly Bitching,
José
Bcuz as u's and the Hype Machine have all noticed I'm sure, almost evry time I post mp3's, I drop it in at the end of yet anothr one of my epic LifeCommentary posts.
Which by no means r going 2 end.
Cuz those r the true point of L.A. Nouveau.
It's the reason u r here.
It's the reason I sit here evryday cuming up with genius intellectual commentary about the wrld around me nd the new LA life that I'm living.
But dont lie, u also cum here 4 the killer music // mp3s. I know.
Nd I respect that, bcuz good music is harder 2 cum by these days.
So I do the dirty work 4 u.
Nd u get 2 listen nd enjoy.
So without trailing on about the wrld/society/culture/thearts/british soap operas/etc., let me specifically hit u up with some music.
2day I'm handing u a taste of Tobacco.
No, not the shit that will give u lung cancer.
The artist Tobacco.
aka Frontman 4 the super-tripppy super-psychedelic group Black Moth Super Rainbow.
In case u missed it, Tobacco was actually the 1st artist evr posted on L.A. Nouveau back in its 1st post evr. Crazy 2 think about the time thats passed since then.
NEWays, if ur in2 trippy/psychedelic/electronic music nd u like Black Moth Super Rainbow, ur sure 2 love Tobacco's debut album Fucked Up Friends.
Plus the albumartwork is superbly epic, not like u care or anything, but just in case.
Wish my frnds were more in2 experimenting so I could see them looking like this dude on the cover. N.D. I promise I wont take 2 many pictures/videos nd wont tell ur folks back home if ur interested in acid/LSD.
Here's an underrated more chilledout track called "Tape Eater".
Tobacco - "Tape Eater"
Mp3ly Bitching,
José
Pack Ur Bags nd Let the Problems Begin
I love going back nd forth from LA to NYC.
I h8 that I don’t get 2 do it more often.
Both r the best.
But in the most diffrnt ways ever.
LA is my new home. My new joint. My gr8 escape. My nouveau-ness.
But NYC will always b my love. My babygirl. My bff who Ill never 4get.
In othr words:
///My soul needs LA, but my heart needs NYC.///
Thinking about scientifically dividing myself into 2 diffrnt humans, 1 that has my soul, the othr that has my heart, so they can exist in the places that each respective part of me needs 2 live.
Bcuz while having access 2 both cities nd living around both is fantastic, the traveling backndforth is clearly a pain.
Nd there r plenty of things that contribute 2 this pain.
But 2day I’d like 2 discuss one component:
Packing.
That’s right.
4get the flights.
4get the airport security.
4get the terrorist threats.
4get the traffic bullshit.
4get the stupidity of travelers who have no idea what the fk they’re doing.
4 now, I’m just talking about Packing.
aka
- Sorting thru ur attic/basement/crawlspace 2 find all ur suitcases.
- Finally finding the right piece of luggage.
- Going thru ur drawers 2 decide whats worth bringing.
- Rummaging thru ur closets 2 find even more junk thats not in ur drawers.
- Deciding whethr ur rly going 2 wear that jacket in LA/those flipflops in NYC.
- Feeling attached 2 certain items even if they’re rly heavy.
- Overpacking/underpacking. Evrytime.
- 4getting shit at home but being 2 far away 2 double back.
- Having 2 empty shit from ur bag when u get 2 the airport cuz its 52lbs instead of 50.
- Cramming so much shit in ur CarryOn that ur shoulders break.
- Trying 2 avoid having 2 check bags bcuz of the long wait once u get 2 ur destination.
Packing=So Many Steps/Obstacles.
Nd now that I have junk in both locales it’s bcuming even worse.
I find myself wondring:
Do I have enuf fancy shirts in LA?
Shud I leave this many flannels back east?
Will I have enuf shaving gel out west 2 not need 2 pack more?
Shud I rly bring all this haircare crap home?
Packing=So Many Questions.
Also, the anxiety over what u packed bcums problematic too.
Like, will the airport security ppl think this torpedo-shaped hairdryer is a weapon?
Nd even more importantly, is my wardrobe gonna look super cracked out bcuz I 4got certain items in NY?
Am I gonna have 2 change my whole look bcuz I packed 2 many baggy jeans?
Will I have 2 take my life bcuz my poor judgements in packing led me 2 wind up with only the following outfit:
Nothing could b worse. Nd when I say worse, I secretly mean better.
Maybe I should take this twinksky's fashion advice.
Nd afterward I'll "accidentally" end my time here on earth.
Packing is
The worst//The best//Not a big deal//Choose.ur.own.response.
Bitchly roaming in the sky,
José
I h8 that I don’t get 2 do it more often.
Both r the best.
But in the most diffrnt ways ever.
LA is my new home. My new joint. My gr8 escape. My nouveau-ness.
But NYC will always b my love. My babygirl. My bff who Ill never 4get.
In othr words:
///My soul needs LA, but my heart needs NYC.///
Thinking about scientifically dividing myself into 2 diffrnt humans, 1 that has my soul, the othr that has my heart, so they can exist in the places that each respective part of me needs 2 live.
Bcuz while having access 2 both cities nd living around both is fantastic, the traveling backndforth is clearly a pain.
Nd there r plenty of things that contribute 2 this pain.
But 2day I’d like 2 discuss one component:
Packing.
That’s right.
4get the flights.
4get the airport security.
4get the terrorist threats.
4get the traffic bullshit.
4get the stupidity of travelers who have no idea what the fk they’re doing.
4 now, I’m just talking about Packing.
aka
- Sorting thru ur attic/basement/crawlspace 2 find all ur suitcases.
- Finally finding the right piece of luggage.
- Going thru ur drawers 2 decide whats worth bringing.
- Rummaging thru ur closets 2 find even more junk thats not in ur drawers.
- Deciding whethr ur rly going 2 wear that jacket in LA/those flipflops in NYC.
- Feeling attached 2 certain items even if they’re rly heavy.
- Overpacking/underpacking. Evrytime.
- 4getting shit at home but being 2 far away 2 double back.
- Having 2 empty shit from ur bag when u get 2 the airport cuz its 52lbs instead of 50.
- Cramming so much shit in ur CarryOn that ur shoulders break.
- Trying 2 avoid having 2 check bags bcuz of the long wait once u get 2 ur destination.
Packing=So Many Steps/Obstacles.
Nd now that I have junk in both locales it’s bcuming even worse.
I find myself wondring:
Do I have enuf fancy shirts in LA?
Shud I leave this many flannels back east?
Will I have enuf shaving gel out west 2 not need 2 pack more?
Shud I rly bring all this haircare crap home?
Packing=So Many Questions.
Also, the anxiety over what u packed bcums problematic too.
Like, will the airport security ppl think this torpedo-shaped hairdryer is a weapon?
Nd even more importantly, is my wardrobe gonna look super cracked out bcuz I 4got certain items in NY?
Am I gonna have 2 change my whole look bcuz I packed 2 many baggy jeans?
Will I have 2 take my life bcuz my poor judgements in packing led me 2 wind up with only the following outfit:
Nothing could b worse. Nd when I say worse, I secretly mean better.
Maybe I should take this twinksky's fashion advice.
Nd afterward I'll "accidentally" end my time here on earth.
Packing is
The worst//The best//Not a big deal//Choose.ur.own.response.
Bitchly roaming in the sky,
José
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