Where in the World [of non-L.A.] is José?

A long long time ago, the alt/hpstr/transsexual/hermo blog L.A. Nouveau presented 2 u's all a lil meme called "Where in the World [of L.A.] is José?"

The purpose of this meme was 2 help u connect 2 some interesting/cool/whatevr places around the Los Angeles, California-area.

Unfortunately, while there were many travels via José 2 many diffrnt areas of L.A., there was only 1 post on the topic ever.

(It was on Malibu. It can be read by clicking the following link: http://lanouveau.blogspot.com/2009/01/where-in-wrld-of-la-is-jose-bu.html *there r real live pics here of the L.A. Nouveau interns!!!*)

The logo looked something like this:

Just wanted 2 remind u of what this meme was like.

Nd I bring it up 4 good reason.

Bcuz since its SummerTime, L.A. Nouveau is "doing something crazy".

Something its never ever done b4 in its entire sporadic 8-months of existence.

José is leaving L.A.

(Gasps, shrills, moans, MariahCarey-highpitched-vocalShrieks, etc.)

Dont wrry, Ill b returning 2 L.A. eventually. This is only temporary 4 the Summer.

So instead of isolating myself in L.A., Im exploring the WRLD.

Nd along the way want 2 update u's all on the many Hipster Happenings beyond Los Angeles County, CA.

So get ready frnds/girlfrnds/boyfrnds/moms/dads(happyalmostfathersday, btdubbz)/NewlyGrads nd beyond, 4 a whole new L.A. Nouveau experience about Finding Hipster-ness/Blipster-ness all over the world.

I bring u:

JOSÉ meets WORLD.

- This is the first L.A. Nouveau meme that will actually b followed thru on / the first that there will actually b multiple postings on / the first that will b continually updated thruout the SummerMonths (As my frnds Friendly Fires/Au Revoir Simone once sang, "I promise, Im on it"). -

So get ready 4 some high quality commentaries + photos of the alt/blipster/hipster happenings found internationally from José's summer voyages around the wrld.

Wanna know what wonderful place on earth is first up?

Well I have news...

Im not telling.

Until 2morrow.

So check back 2 find out nd get ready 2 start living vicariously thru L.A. Nouveau.

Bitching is so INT'L,

José

The French: Supplying Us With Much

Aside from AZN's, hipsters, nd the Blogosphere, 1 of the more popular talking points of this blog has always been The.French.

In all past discussions of these mysterious/silly/cunty-but-loveable ppl, theyve been addressed bcuz of their amazing nd often superior music.

Nd with artists/singers/DJs/electrosluts like Uffie, Justice, Yelle, nd M83 just 2 name a very select few, its understandable y Im so often discussing the going-ons of the French music scene.

But there r so many othr things about the.French that we hardly ever address.

Such as their food.
Croissants = YumCity.
Nd a Baguette.with.Ham+Cheese is so "in" these days around lunchtimes.

(Thnx 2 FoodPornDaily 4 this wondrful pic of a potentially Paris-inspired sandwich)

Nd how about French fashion?
Paris has always been way ahead of the USofA in terms of its apparel/wears.




(both pixx courtesy of the many Lookbook postings of French ppl)

Just want some1 2 travel to Paris on my behalf 2 bring me back lots of vintage/chic apparel that I can wear in an effort 2 prove to my frnds/co-workers that Im more fashion-forward than them.
Assuming that this will lead them 2 in turn further question my sexuality.
Hoping that this wont effect the 3.on.3 BasketballTournament Im currently taking place in with a bunch of Bros who work a few cubicles down from mine.

But at the end of the day, no matter what else Paris/France/the.European.Union has 2 offer, its stellar music is what makes me continue writing about it.

So I continue 2day with a Parisian newcomer called Make the Girl Dance.
Theyve been tearing up blogs evrywhere 4 the last 2 weeks or so with a highly provacative/"SexyCanI" music viddy nd a SuperCatchy KindaCunty AbsolutelyBombtastic song called "Baby Baby Baby".

Here r some of the more memorable lyrics of the lil song translated in2 our more native tongue...

I want your Mom’s Black Amex. I want your Dad's car.

I want to go out with your mates. I will wear my cutest panties.

I want a hot sex session. You can look but you can’t touch.

I want to be Justice's top friend, I want Gaspard's hand on my thigh.

I want to be the only person in photos. And I want to model for Yves Saint Laurent.

I don't want any cake. I just want Coke.

I don't want Kate, I want Ethan Hawke.

I want ice cubes in my glass. I want to smoke dope with your grandma.

Nothings available 4 purchase yet in the US, but Im sure thats coming soon.

So 4 now, try 2 get some1 u know 2 go over 2 France nd purchase some of their music 4 u. Nd maybe theyll bring u back some EuroChic/Would.b.Gay.in.the.USA clothes that ull secretly fall in love with.

But until then, enjoy the music 4 free.
Watch the pretty.much.full.frontal music viddy here:

Make The Girl Dance "Baby Baby Baby" ( official video )

Nd here's the mp3 PLUS a bonus mp3 of a pretty great remix of the song by another French electronic duo called No Kiss With Gloss (this is a link 2 their myspace, u's all)


Make the Girl Dance - Baby Baby Baby (mp3)


Make the Girl Dance - Baby Baby Baby (No Kids With Gloss Remix) (mp3)


Je veux 2 bitch all nite,
José

A Guido's Role in the East Coast MTV Universe

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, back in the 19k's, a TeleVision Channel called Music TeleVision, or mtv as ppl liked 2 abbrev it, used 2 ditch their TimesSquare NewYorkCity studio evry summer nd would instead operate from what they liked 2 call
the MTV SummerBeachHouse.

This interesting seasonal meme was a favorite of many teens/tweens/20somthings growing up in the late 19ks nd early 2ks.

The annual summer special started in 1997 here in L.A., but then switched it up in 1998 to a very very vry different locale. They took the SummerBeach series away from the westcoast, bringing it far far beyond the classy beaches, palm trees, nd real surfers, instead moving on 2 the 1 nd only... Seaside Heights, NJ.


(scott gries was the probably mobbed phototaker here)

(This is not a joke.)
If uve been fortunate enough 2 actually visit Sleazeside Heights, New Jersey, then ur probably aware that its the last kind of place u'd expect MTV 2 wanna show off. But they mustve rly liked something about it, cuz they went back 2 Seaside Heights 4 yrs later for "MTV's Shore Thing" in 2oo2.

So what exactly did MTV see in whats often regarded as the sleaziest + trashiest of all the Jersey shore beaches?

Here's what:
Guidos.




(photo cred 2 hcwdbags)

Many L.A. hipsters/blipsters r lucky enough 2 never have actually met or come across a real-life Guido.
But 4 those who have, I apologize on NewJersey/NewYork's behalf.

Now, national pride is never rly a bad thing... Unless u take it 2 a level where u bcome so ItalianAmerican-obsessed that u only quote The Godfather, where the amount of gel in ur hair kills 3 species of wildlife a day, nd where ur skin color is far more orange than an aged pumpkin.

Nd while many Guidos dont actually even live in the state of NewJersey, they follow the same migratory patterns every summer around the same time.

Like birds, they use their natural-guido-instincts 2 gather all 2gether in Staten Island/Brooklyn around Memorial Day Wknd, drive out of the NYC-area all packed in several convertibles nd hummers, nd finally make their way down 2 the NewJersey beaches of Belmar, Pt. Pleasant, nd above all, Seaside Heights.
Its a migration that researches have been intensely studying 4 yrs, hoping 2 gather some new information on what the future of Guido-beach-hopping nd the Guido-movement could bring.

Before we depart, want 2 share 2 critical WebSites with u that will hopefully strengthen ur understanding of guidos.

Enjoy the following:
HotChickswithDouchebags.com - A superclassy photo site where many guido-looking douchebags happen to b in photos with hot girls.

nd lastly... NJ-Guido.com! Oh yes, this is real.

2 all the Italian stallion bitches,
José

A-Quick-Post: Believe Achieve

L.A. Nouveau presents "A-Quick-Post": a new kind of post thats quicker, shorter, nd more 2-the-point on updating u's all about life in the Nouveauniverse.

Here r some thoughts/tidbits/ideas:

- Swine Flu jokes r officially "less funny" than jokes about Clay Aiken's outed sexuality, MexiCNN reports. -

- Amrican Idul: is any1 still watching? Dont know any1 that still watches. Heard a rumor that my parents might still watch it. Im trying 2 get 2 the bottom of this fallacy. Miss u Sanjaya. -

- Im trying 2 brainstorm some creative things that I can do with all of the face masks I bought 2 weeks ago when all my frnds said I would die from the Swine if I didnt. Could make some nifty bday presents. I heard theyre still worth a lot in China, Toronto, nd other SARS-affected cities. Maybe next time I go on tour with my Indie/PunkRokk/Hipster/Hampster band, we'll perform wearing face masks. Nd then can throw them out 2 all our fans at the end of the show. Perfect. -

- Wondring how HilaryDuff is doing these days. Havent seen her in a while/am a lil nervous 4 her wellbeing. -

- FoxNews' indienews channel FxNws reports that 78% of ppl still think that Terri Schiavo is totally do-able. Brett Michaels has more on that story -

- Finally, (FINALLY!), life is particularly stressful at the moment 4 many of the college kids out there dealing with finals, moving back home 4 the summer, getting sucked down corporate loopholes in order 2 find "meaningful jobs", etc. I wish all of u's good luck at this daunting time of yr.

As my good frnds at Cansei de Ser Sexy, commonly referred to as CSS, would say:

"Believe Achieve".

Enjoy the José-fave musical number below:

CSS - Believe Achieve (artist name is a link 2 their myspace. just trying 2 promote the bands 2 u's.)

"I wanna b just like u Bitch," - CSS

José

So Tell Me, Have U Seen Her?: A Meme Is Born

L.A. Nouveau presents a new Meme 2 add 2 its already enormous collection of hardly viral Memes.

Let me introduce u the Newest thang now.

Presenting: Have U seen this AZN???

There r a lot of AZN's (asians, 4 those of u who are still hipster-illiterate) in this lil country of ours.

Actually, they make up only about 5% of the USofA.

But they make up a shitload of areas like California, LosAngeles, nd IvyLeague schools.

Bcuz of their overwhelming presence in many places like L.A., an overbearing issue has arisen: how 2 tell them apart.

4 whatever reason, it can often b very hard 2 distinguish 1 AZN from the next.

But maybe if we focus more attention on distinguishing specific AZN ppl, it will bcum easier 2 tell em all apart.
Nd by telling them apart, we can better understand the things they do, what motivates them, what prompts their unknown azn actions, etc.

Nd thus, I bring u:

Have U seen this AZN???

2days AZN:

So... Have U seen this AZN???

She was last seen totally screwing up ppl's school projects by not being able 2 formulate her words correctly nd thus wasting all of the time the othr presenters had 2 speak during.

Shes also been known 2 refute other ppl's ideas by using big words that dont come out correctly bcuz of her lacking English skills.

Additionally, she recently travelled 2 HongKong where she felt generally more accepted in2 society bcuz of her AZNness nd her Westernized-meets-Chechnya sense of style.

In the future, she plans 2 remain generally subdued by AmericanSociety despite her high-level B.S./B.A. in economics/InternationalRelations.

She also enjoys eating Dumplings, nd other AZNnation food/drink-things/brightly-colored-nuclearly-radiated-rice-produced items.

So Have U seen this AZN??? Share where/when/what this AZN was doing when U saw it.

(Even if this isnt necessarily the AZN u saw, Im sure u've recently seen 1 like this, so please share ur sensitive story regardless)

Leave a comment. Share a tale.
Nd remember 2 email jose@LAnouveau.com if u come across a noteworthy AZN that ur wondering if ppl have seen recently.

Looking for more AZN bitches 2 blog about,
José ≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠

There's Only 3 Kinds of Thank U's Out There

This usually isnt the "designated time of yr" 2 say Thank U for stuff.

Generally mainstream society tells us that we should start being cognizant of the things we should start 2 b thankful 4 right as Halloween ends nd as we are propelled in2 the consumer "HolidaySeason" til we reach an eventful climax @ ThanksgivingDinner where evry1 is obliged 2 share their most meaningful "I M Thankful 4" 's until evry1 just feels bad 4 how much they have.

These feelings of Thnx r expected 2 continue throughout the rest of the December month until u r completely surrounded by gifts/gift-giving nd thus the only thing 2 b thankful 4 is that ur getting that new Wii2.0 4 Xmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Choose.ur.own.LooselyAffiliated with Religion.December-based.holiday

It thus seems like midApril is just not even remotely a designated time 2 "b thankful". But at a time where excellent Summer Jams r beginning 2 leak via mp3 Blogs, the weather is getting warmer 4 those of us not lucky enough 2 live in LosAngeles, California, school nd other related academic endeavors r coming 2 an end, nd the MusicFestival Season has just kicked off with the best music festy in the country (Coachella), theres a surprising amount 2 b thankful 4.

Nd so I want 2 personally share a story of Thanx on this random April day that may or may not be the 23rd day of the Month.

While there r lots of things Im happy 2 b thankful 4,

There's only 3 things I want 2 specifically call upon. (similarly 2 the # of kinds of fish)

Nd here they are:

1. Crystalmeth. Thank u Meth 4 being the gateway drug of choice 4 so many hipsters/gays/Latvians around the world.

Thank u 4 supplying some hilarious moments in the lives of many of my frnds.

Thank u 4 being the 1 drug thats still funny 2 joke about, bcuz lord knows that coke jokes are so last yr.

2. AustinPryfogle. Thank u NorCarolina-based grrrl named AustinPryfogle 4 being courageous, strong, and above all, absolutely amazing at life.

Thank u 4 giving us so many wonderful stories 2 share at the dinner table.

Thank u 4 not letting fear dictate ur life, nd instead, letting ur own spirit guide u.

Nd thank u 4 getting me involved in the legal system.

Nd finally,

3. Black Moth Super Rainbow. Thank u 4 FINALLY leaking a few tracks from ur upcoming album 'Eating Us'. Since that late-January day when the Sampler track was first released, I knew this album would b amazing, but was horrified nd dismayed 2 realize that I wouldnt get to hear any of it until months in advanced. But now, the time has cum 4 a few tracks 2 be leaked over the internet.

Thank u 4 not getting all leak-prevention-crazy like some artists do.

Thank u 4 making albums that Im actually going 2 buy, nd not just on iTunes, but on Vinyl, bcuz thats how epic this album will be.

Thank u 4 being MorganArons-esque "Originals" by making completely original-sounding music that fills my head with wonders nd excitement nd intrigue. (Read more L.A. Nouveau posting about Being an Original via MorganArons here: http://lanouveau.blogspot.com/2009/01/hipsters-intense-discussion-on.html)

So if ur willing 2 hear a leaked track from the new album, enjoy 1 here.

This is the lead single, called "Born On A Day the Sun Didn't Rise".

Its a bit more intense than ur average trip-balls Black Moth song, but its undeniably 1 of their best songs yet.

Enjoy it here:

Black Moth Super Rainbow - Born On A Day the Sun Didn't Rise

Bitching with Thnx,

José ≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠

P.S that above was a brandnew end-of-the-post distinguisher.

Dear 2morrow, I Love U. Bcuz of Coachella.

Once upon a time, nd by that I mean on the 23 of February, a blog post on L.A. Nouveau was written discussing an amazing event that was going 2 occur in the far reaching future.

No, I didnt blog about the worldwide re-emergence of Zoroastrianism in the 2030s.

The blog post topic was Coachella.

Read the former post here: http://lanouveau.blogspot.com/2009/02/musical-ejaculation-via-coachella.html

At the time, Coachella, the wrld-renowned music festival that takes place evry year in the California desert, was months away.

But now, we've finally reached the day where I can proudly say

Coachella. Is. 2MORROW.

Holy. Shit.

What.the.Fk.

Mom.

Cant believe the time has finally come 4 me 2 experience my first Coachella evr.

Want 2 share with u an excerpt from the last blog post written about Coachella:

"...as an L.A. newbie, nothing excites me more than thinking about being a part of Coachella.
Just want 2 have the Best / Most Cliché Coachella Experience Ever.
- Want 2 pass out from dehydration.
- Want 2 get drugged while I'm camping out in the desert.
- Want 2 have my first mini-heart failure while listening 2 the Ting Tings.
- Want 2 have my identity stolen at a convenience store in lil downtown Indio.
- Want 2 musically 'fall in love' with 1 of the lessr-known artists that I muster enough courage 2 interview after their show.
- Want 2 fill up 4 memry cards worth of photographs that I took from the wknd on my Canon Rebel.
- Want 2 be offered "cheese" [aka a cocktail of Tylenol PM & Heroin] by Sir Paul McCartney.
- Want 2 run out of gas along I-10 b4 I even hit Palm Springs on the way home.
- Want 2 enjoy a 'religious experience' with hipsters that I randomly meet during the wknd."

More thoughts of mine regarding Coachella that have developed since this last blogpost:

- Sad nd shocked that my former friend Amy dropped out of the lineup. Shes usually so professional.

- Glad that the no-longer-preggy M.I.A. will b there instead. Miss her. Saw her last June in some random east coast city. Couldnt tell she was pregnant back then. Im pretty sure she was rly stoned. I wonder if she still smokes as much weed now that she has a lil AltBaby.

- Intrigued that 1 of the main sponsors 4 Coachella is Heineken Music. Didnt know that Heineken Beer Co had a music dept. Someday I wish 2 b the first artists signed by Heineken Beer Records. Pretty sure Ill have 2 b drinking a Heineken in evry music vid/promotional shoot/at evry concert on stage. Dont rly like Heineken, so maybe I wont do this. I think id rather b signed to Crystalmeth Records. Id b totally happy 2 promote that juicy goodness.

- Hoping that Steve Aoki nd the whole Dim Mak crew doesnt h8 me when Im hanging out at his pool party on Saturday. He didnt rly seem to warm up to me that much last time we met at that CobraSnake yard sale.

Share ur Coachella Eve thoughts with the whole lil L.A. Nouveau community.

Leave a comment about ur fave Coachella artist/least fave/what artist u plan on dying of dehydration during.

Bitch b at Coachella 2morrow,

José

Its Good 2 Have Frnds, or Friends of Friends

Here's something thats really "in" right now that u might find interesting: frnds.
Frnds/friends r so "in" at the moment.
After the massive decline of the importance of frnds thanks 2 the end of the similary named television series back in 2004, most ppl believed that frnds were on the way out 4 good.
But thanks 2 many factors including but not limited 2 the Economy, BarryObama, nd the hit series 2 Catch a Predator, the importance of having friends seems 2 once again b on the rise.

Cuz with all the problems/fighting/religgy.extremism.via.revolutions out there in the World, making friends seems 2 b one of the only solutions besides the inherent Iraq-Iran-Saudi-Israeli-Chechnya War of 2014.

Nd while there r so many ppl out there who totally suck, there r also a lot of others who we could all benefit from befriending.
Maybe not BestFriending, or even RlyGoodFriending, but at least friending.
Maybe just say Hello 2 them when u pass them on the way 2 work, nd then "Friend" them on facebook, follow them on Twitter, comment with them on L.A. Nouveau, nd get ready 2 enjoy having another person in ur life who u can technically call a frnd.

Nd with all this SocialNetworking nd increase of friends, more nd more ppl r doing things with their frnds.
Like music projects, such as a cool 1 called "Friends of Friends" or FoF.
Its a record label where 2 or more artists can come 2gether 2 create an EP 2 split the revenue nd walk down a path of rainbows nd synthesizers 2gether 4ever.

The most recent FoF edition brings 2gether L.A. Nouveau-fave-electronic "experimental music producer" Daedelus and an another L.A.-based electrodude named Jogger.
So here 4 u 2day is 1 of the hotter of the tracks off this joint EP.
This ones by Daedelus, its called "L.A. Nocturn".
Nd its got a rly awesome music vid produced by a Friend of L.A. Nouveau, nd features a young socialite whos also a Friend of the blog.
Check this shit out belowskies:



The Bitch just might B Back,
José