I Love U L.A., But U've Chosen Darkness

A few months ago, something big happened in my lil Alt life.
Something bsides liquidating my future retirement fund.
This big event was Moving 2 L.A.

Hence, the name of this blog. [L.A. Nouveau translates 2 the New Los Angeles, in case u were still unaware, slowpoke bogens]
Hence, the ideas that r expressed in this posting site.
Hence, the way I currently live my lil life...

- Like raging at epic concerts in the L.A.area.
- Like taking pixx of nature/the skyline/the mts.
- Like trying 2 get a tan at thebeach.
- Like soaking up the sun.

Which is why I get quite angsty/upset/grumpy/grungy when its Cloudy.


The picture above is an exmpl of what LosAngeles isnt nd shouldnt b like.

Maybe its ok 4 Chicago 2 b completely Cloudy.
Maybe its ok 4 NorCal/SanFran 2 b completely Cloudy. Mostly bcuz its just not as nice as SoCal. Couldnt resist stirring up some drama with this lil antiNorCal commnt.
Maybe its ok 4 Manchester, UK 2 b completely Cloudy.
Maybe its ok 4 Syracuse, NY 2 b completely Cloudy.

But its rly not ok 4 L.A. 2 b completely Cloud-covered.
As Mr. G once said in his self-titled musical production, "It's just not right."

Cuz it brings us Angelenos down.
It makes w'all unable 2 do the L.A.-like things that we usually like 2 do.
Just makes us feel angsty nd pissy.
Want 2 call upon the 1979 song/album by the.Electric.Light.Orchestra. 2 relay my message 2 the Clouds that currently hang over the city of LosAngeles: "Dont Bring Me Down".


h8 2 sound like a spoiled brat.
h8 2 nag since most of u's all have 2 deal with cloudyness a lot.
But srsly.
U dont go 2 Rome nd expect 2 eat shitty food.
U dont travel 2 MexicoCity nd expect 2 not have ur lungs severely affected.
U dont move 2 Chechnya nd expect 2 not b kidnapped.
Nd u dont relocate 2 LosAngeles nd expect 2 deal with Overcast Cloud-filled days like 2day.

This whole lack-of-abundant-sunshine thing makes me think of an AltBand with a truly epic name that i only recently found.
Altho theyve been around 4 the last few yrs, theyre starting 2 get a lil more exposure in the mp3Blogosphere.
The name of the IndieQuartet MusicalGrouping is I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness.
So enjoy this lil song of theirs, wonderfully titled "Your Worst is the Best".


I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness - "Your Worst is the Best"

I h8 u bitchtastic Darkness,
José

Musical Technology Bringing Us "Down Down"

Sometimes, technology brings us 2gether.

Its how Im able 2 ViddyChat with my besties when Im feeling restless on a Sat nite but dont want 2 leave my house.

Its how I send my grrlfrnd flowers on random occasions by connecting 2 the 1800Flowers.com iPodTouch app I bought 4 $9.99.

Its how I can hack in2 my moms bank account via my BlackBerry iStorm when I need extra funds.

Its how I share my angst feelings on ppl's fb walls while lipsync-ing my fave angst songs.

[via FaceBook]

But sometimes, technology ruins evrything.
Like talent.
Thnx 2 audio-tuning, it doesnt rly take much effort 4 "singers/rappers" 2 make mainstream-loved tracks these days.

Keep hearing that ovrprocessed 80's-cover song by the AfricanAmerican Musician FloRida lately bcuz the CDPlayer/iPodMini Connector is broken so I have 2 listen 2 the radio.
Miss the old "U Spin Me Round Like A Rcrd Baby" song. Dont rly miss u Dead.or.Alive.
But cant believe this original hit dancetrack was turned in2 such a graphic sexualrefrnce in the Florida song as he sings 2 his lover, "U spin my head right round right round when you perform fellatio."

Already thought that 2000's Rap was a lil bit of a Musical cop-out bcuz u dont rly need 2 sing, u can just speak in a hip way nd have good beats.
But now u dont even have 2 rap 2 create what mainstream music deems as "Fresh Tracks".
H8 u LilWayne nd ur gross digitalized voice thing.
Miss u when u used 2 rap nd not AudioTuneSing, Kanye.

Not only does it not take much talent 2 make a "Hit Song", it doesnt take much 2 perform 1 anymore either.
Exmpl: The following dreaded performance:


Cant beleive we've cum 2 a day where ppl can put on a concert via solely their iPhones.

Wonder if ppl will just settle 4 this in the future or if this will b the straw.that.breaks.the.hipster's.back nd ppl will take 2 the streets demanding that concerts cant b performed via iPhones.
I want 2 b certain that the next concert I go 2, there will b no iPhone-performance section of it.

Thank u Loney, Dear nd Andrew Bird 4 not doing anything even remotely like this at the amazing concert u's both performed last month here in LA.
Truly appreciate Andrew Bird's musical genius nd his integration of technology via recording himself during the concert nd then playing back his recording in order 2 play more over it.
I deem this A Good integration of technology vs. A Bad "2kNine.iPhone.Concert.Series" integration of technology.

Bitchin 2 bring iPhone Concert Reform,
José

The Best of the Last NinetyNine BlogPosts

Very special BlogPost ahead.
Like, this is a big one.
This is not a drill.

Its L.A. NOUVEAU's
OneHundredth BlogPost.
This officially marks the 100th Posting that will b published via Google's the Blogger + the writer/artist/entertainer José.

Cant believe its already been 100 BlogPosts.
Wasnt always sure Id make it 2 see this day.
Sometimes felt like just 'giving up' the dream.
Oftn asked myself if it was worth the effort 2 keep going when viewership would plummet.
But thru Thick&Thin, we made it. I made it. U's all made it.
2 see the day when L.A. Nouveau would b a 100+BlogPosts Blog.



So in an effort 2 honor the fact that there have been NinetyNine diffrnt/diverse/multicultural/AfricanAmerican BlogPosts written b4 this 1,
Want 2 chronologically reminisce with u about ur fave BlogPosts in L.A. Nouveau history.

Ive consulted some of the Wrld's best blog readers 2 cum up with a list of their favrite posts, including many of the AllStars that u know nd love who have been previously mentioned in L.A. Nouveau, such as SKeimig, Ally, HelenKellr, Brody nd more.

Here's some of the results 4 the ppls Fave Blog Posts of the last NinetyNine...

- The Circle Scarf: God Says Ur Welcome - A deep exploration of the Wrld's best fashion invention in histry: The Circle Scarf. 2 know José is 2 know my love 4 the AmericanApparel CircleScarf. Nd 2 express my love for the CircleScarf, I had 2 incorporate a lil bit of BlogArt.

- How 2 B More "Out There Grindin" nd Other Pieces of Advice - After discussing diffrnt places on the InterWeb 2 find good Advice, 1 critical WebbySite was examined: WikiHow. Nd conveninently, the WikiHow 2 of the Day was "How To Grind", making 4 a great discussion about just how 2 get down on the dancefloor. Plus, gave some notable commentary on the shitshowy yr that was 1942. h8 u 1942.

- Report: Teens Channel Their Teen Angst Into Txt Msgs - Warning, this link will send u 2 all BlogPosts that are Labeled as 'Sufjan' just bcuz the actual link 2 the post isnt working. Way 2 Suck Blogger/GoogleInc. But after a lot of review, most of the lil scholars seem 2 agree that this is 1 of their fave posts. Rly opens up about what it means 2 feel Teen Angst. Nd the best part about it is its authenticity... its a REAL TXT MSG I intercepted along the way.

- Ur Nouveau Travel Agency has Arrived - Aftr realizing that we might just b in a lil Economic Downfall, I figured it would b helpful around the holiday season 2 share with u's all some of José's travel recommendations of diffrnt places 2 go in the UnitedStates 2 help out the Economy nd not invest ur dollars in othr wannabe nations. A few ppl even shared their Holiday Travel Stories aftrwards. Wish more ppl would commnt.

- Ally+Bro: A New Internet Meme - While it was pretty recent, this post might just b the defining BlogPost of our blogosphere-based generation, where InternetMemes like LOLcats nd RickRolling dominate poplar culture. A collection of photos of 1 of L.A. Nouveau's most trusted interns. Under the pseudonym Ally in order 2 protect her real identity, she eloquently poses with an incredible collection of diffrnt types of Bros. This collection is a once-in-a-lifetime viewing experience.

- Its Not Easy Being Alive nd Born From 1979-85 - An apologetic look at a large demographic in our society who at first would seem 2 'have it all', but in reality has it pretty rough. This group of humans Im discussing is 20somethings. Plus, this BlogPost contains the now famous quote
"Just trying 2 save myself from the most Jager Yoga period of my life". Cant beat that.

Have any othr L.A. Nouveau BlogPosts of the last NinetyNine that u particularly loved? Share them via Commenting. But srsly. Theres a shitton more blog posts nd Im sure at least 1 of them struck u in some way.
So inform me nd ur fellow readers so we can all b "in this 2gether".
Or share ur thoughts via theFacebook on the Discussion section of the newly-redesigned L.A. Nouveau page. xx Direct link here: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=110138205400&topic=8500 OMfG xx

Wonder what the next 100 BlogPosts will look like.
Wonder if the InterWeb will still b a free place 4 me 2 communicate with u's all by the time L.A. Nouveau is at its 1,000thBlogPost.
Wonder if u's all will still b alive nd well 2 read the 2,350thBlogPost.
Wonder which 1 of u's all will try 2 assassinate me in order 2 take over this blog someday.
Wonder if any1 is even out there...


Hoping 2 get a 'Sign' that life still exists.

Hoping 2 Celebrate this Great Moment in L.A. Nouveau history by partying with u's all 2morrow night at the L.A. Nouveau HeadQuarters.
Hoping u's all will stick around for the next 100/200/500/InfiniteAmount of BlogPosts.

Thnx 4 being part of this greatness.
Thnx 4 helping us make history.
Final tribute 2 the 100thBlogPost:
100. 100. 100. 100. 100.



Love u bitches, but srsly,
José

Sry CyberBullies, Im Just Not Offended

Dont know about u, but not much offend me these days.
Used 2 b a lot more Offend-able.
Back in the days of LowSelfEsteem/Hypochondria/Menopause, used 2 b kinda sensitive 2 the harshness of the wrld.
Used 2 feel a lil hated on.
Used 2 feel kinda targeted.
Used 2 feel uncomfortable when ppl would do/talk about morally offensive things.

Remembering now back when I got rly upset when ppl thought it was funny when MichaelJackson dangled his babyrobot ovr the hotel balcony. Used 2 say things like,
"Thats a child right there!" or "U should care 4 its life" or "Look at the pain in Jacko's eyes" etc.
Now I look at the paparazzipics nd cant help but laugh, thinking of how much fun it mustve been 4 that lil Baby 2 get all that Media attention nd for Jacko 2 get all that publicity.
In the end it rly was a good call... plus the Baby didnt die or anything, so, guess thats a plus.


So nowadays I dont rly get offended by much.
Maybe its cuz ive been exposed 2 so much that im no longer freaked out enough by anything.
Maybe if I didnt watch my fave SoapOpera star get mauled to death by a crowd of protestors when I was 12yrsold in Long Beach, CA, I'd b more easily offend-able.
Maybe if I didnt write an angsty hipster blog, I would care more when I offend othr ppl. [Still think that there r oppresive things about GreekLife at colleges that remind me of Nazism, sry Kansel]

Feel like our lil society is splitting in2 a dichotomy btween 2 diffrent types of ppl:
Ppl who nevr get offended, nd usually find Offensive things funny. &
Ppl who get offended over evrything, nd have a higher moral standard.

I am the 1st exmpl.
As are most of my closest frnds.
Like the 1 who jokes around with me about the funny man's accent at the end of HotelRwanda.
Like the 1 who gave a speech at my MiddleSchool graduation about how her personal hero in life is Terri Schiavo.
Like the 1 who threw out all her underwear cuz she was sick of wearing them a few summrs ago.
Like the 1 who did modeling nd took cute pixx of herself being crucified 4 a new "Just Say No 2 Meth" campaign.

Like the 1s who at age 13 introduced me 2 the musical wonder that is Peaches.
A crazy bitch grrrl whose real name is Merrill Beth Nisker, who's bff's with Feist, whose music is as edgy nd offensive as anything my frnds would do.
U may have heard her most notorious song "Fuck The Pain Away" b4.
This may have been the song my frnds nd I danced 2 in the hallways in eighthGrade.
So let me share with u now some more shittastic tunes from her.
This is a lil jam called "Boys Wanna Be Her". The title should tell u enough. U know Id want 2.


[photo cred via Rollo&Grady]

Peaches - Boys Wanna Be Her

Getting down 2 the Bitch sounds of Offensiveness,
José

Get Creative With Your Intake/Alcoholism

Warning: Not trying 2 promote the "binge drinking culture" with this upcuming post. But, like, whatevr.

Now that thats out of the way, it seems like a good time in the yr 2 discuss the cleverly created pastime of 'consumption entertainment activities', aka 'drinking games'.
It is, after all, officially the bizarre lil month of March, a month full of holidays/experiences like St.PatricksDay where ur lil Irish frnds get 2 b all "proud" of their hungerstriken heritage so u can drink a lot.
The month of March is also usually home 2 SpringBreak, a common ritual that finds many collegeStudents using excessive amounts of booze/drugs/sex 2 have a good time in some warm sunny locale.

Nd while there r plenty of ways 2 drink nd places 2 do so, sometimes they bcum cliché nd frustrating when utilized 2 much.
- Like at a club.
U gotta love the club scene, but always having 2 throw down lots of cashmoney 4 cheapo lil drinks can get rly annoying.

- Like at a FratParty/BasementParty.
While these two party scenes r cumpletely diffrent, they r similar in some regards, like their overall sketchiness, the increased potential for unwanted sexual activities, the high possibility 4 hard drugs, nd in regards 2 drinking, where its all very excessive nd usually containing alcohol that ur not rly sure of.
Cuz even if its in a bottle u recognize, chances r that its been refilled with some kind of crap OsoNegro-style shit that will probably make u vom later, anothr key similarity between FratParties nd BasementParties [via the frequent vomiting of partyguests after they leave].

- Like with ur parents. Cuz nothing says "Our family is doing just fine" like taking shots of Jack Daniels. Especially when this is in conjunction with a death or an elderly some1's birthday.
But some would find it surprising 2 hear that this can bcum problematic after a while.
[Miss u N.D.]

So sometimes when all of these places/events/experiences get kind of tiring 2 always b partaking in drinking at, the best thing 2 do is gather up a few good frnds nd partake in 1 of those good ol drinking games.

Nd the best part is: There r so many diffrent Drinking Games 2 choose from.

- There's the Card-related Drinking Games.
Like the ones my college self loves 2 play.
Love u Kings.
Want 2 start playing Go Fish! as a drinking game more with my frnds/family.

- There's the Media-Interactions Drinking Games.
Which in itself there r many kinds of DrinkingGames too.

1 Exmpl: Playing a movie drinking game.
Nearly any movie will work. 1 my frnds recently did was a Drinking Game 4 "American Beauty".
Went a lil something like this:
Drink evry time...
1. Any1 does drugs.
2. Lester obsesses over Angela.
3. Ricky is seen videotaping anythng.
4. Lester argues with any1.
5. Lester is shown exercising.
6. Angela calls Ricky weird/freak/anything along those lines.



Anothr Media-Interaction Drinking Game exmpl: Watching a speech/the news.
If u decide 2 wake up 1 morning, flip on CNN nd take a shot of ur fave hard booze evry time they mention the Economy. Its a surefire way 2 4get the rest of ur day nd evrything that will unfold.

Thnx TinaFey 4 making this NewsInteraction DrinkingGame so popular via ur SarahPalin impressions. aka Taking a swag 4 evry use of the word "maverick".

Suggesting that u start making a Drinking Game out of ur reading of L.A. Nouveau.
Here r the rules:
Take a shot evry time u see the word "hipster", "Uffie", "mp3", "LosAngeles", or "Nouveau".
From here, get ready 2 enjoy a great hardly-remembered nite.

- Lastly, cant 4get the NothingButHornyPpl Drinking Games.
The exact games range in nature, nd r often the most creative nd metaphorical of the Drinking Games.
But the basic idea behind them is always the same: when ppl want 2 do sexual things, putting them on an entertaining path 2 do so via alcohol always creates 4 a memorable experience.

Want 2 hear about the NothingButHornyPpl Drinking Games that u like 2 play when ur in a group setting with ur peers.
Or any othr creative Drinking Games that u have found 2 b meaningful in ur life.
Want 2 create a Drinking Game Forum via This blog post.
So plz comment away.

Hoping bitches will implement the new L.A. Nouveau DrinkingGame,
José

A Green PowerShift via the NewsCenter

This is an L.A. Nouveau NewsCntr SPECIAL REPORT.
[Dramatic musical intro]


I begin this new chapter in the L.A. Nouveau life feeling Inspired/Scared/Determined.
While there r lots of diffrnt issues/ideas/parties/drugs I want 2 explore via L.A. Nouveau, i feel that as a lil citizen of this planet, it is my duty 2 speak on Earth's behalf nd discuss
The Environment // nd Climate Change.

Cuz even if ur 1 of those "I dont believe in science cuz scientist r liars" ppl who dont believe in human-impacted global warming [nd if u are 1 of these ppl, we should have a lil chat 1 of these days], who doesnt love the environment?
Who doesnt love beautiful pristine beaches?
Who doesnt love rainforests teeming with wildlife?
Who doesnt love having fresh air 2 breathe?

Want 2 share with u's a poem that a good frnd wrote about his/her environmentally-related fears:

2 Whom It May Concern
(I hope this won't be returned)
We have known each other 4 thousands of yrs
Now I come 2 u eyes filled with tears
Stinging from gases you put in my sky
Clogging my lungs as they come 2 lie.
Causing temperature changes, first cold then hot
by clear-cutting my trees; wheres the next spot?
This is getting me dizzy, now I'm starting 2 feel faint,
Drinking from rivers & lakes, with chemicals u did taint.
For so many years I thought we got along.
What happened? What did I do wrong?
Please, please get this on time
Your precious resources are my vital signs...


Whats so incredible/important about being more eco-frndly/pro-Environment is that it effects so many diffrent things.
Yes, there's the preservation of the planet.
Yes, there's 'saving the rainforests'.
But just as importantly,
- It affects our health. Cuz breathing toxins/acid rain/pollution will give us cancer, harm our bodies, maybe even make us eventually mutate, etc.
- It affects our economy. Cuz GREEN JOBS = the future.
Creating green jobs will boost our HotMess economy.
Investing money in2 sustainable solutions will save our resources nd will thus save us money in the future.
- It affects our role in the lil international community. Cuz othr countries will trust us more if we are aiding them 2 take on sustainability projects/help 2 give them the resources they need 2 be more sustainable.
Nd the reason many nations dont rly like the USofA is bcuz of how much we exploit their resources/dump cheap labor jobs in2 their countries, which creates huge messes nd othr problems.
Nd if we change these environmentally-harmful industries 2 b more sustainable, other nations will want 2 do business with us more. Which ultimately helps National Security too.

I know that this is some high-level-thinking-stuff-right-here.
But its time 2 start making some changes.

This past wknd, approx12thousand students got 2gether in our nations lil capitol 2 discuss Environmental justice nd sustainability in the future, nd marched 2 Barack Obama's white-colored House to voice their concerns, nd lobbied on Congress 2 tell their lil Senators/Representativemens/Representativeladieloves 2 do more 4 the environment.

Video/pic footage of kids marching to Barack's house here:


Nd after this Powershift conference nd more, I declare that the Environmental Revolution has begun.

Which is why as of 2day, 3.2.9, a new featurette has cum 2 L.A. Nouveau which will look 2 talk more about the Environment, more about EcoChic music/fashion/art, more about how w'all can b more sustainable, nd more about ur lil personal efforts 2 make this Planet a healthy place 4 all humans 2 live.


EcoNouveau is here. \\\
Literally translating 2 EcoNew, this seems like an appropriate title in reference 2 this new Green movement nd all the ways w'all can make New more sustainable living habits.

Want 2 hear from u's all about what ur doing 2 save the Planet.
Want 2 know what are ur concerns 4 the future.
Want 2 spread Environmental Love 2 all the bitches,
José