Enlisting 4 the Good of My Lil Nation

We're at a pivotal time in our lil nation's history.
There's a lot of bullsht going on right now.
Like that Mom who killed her kids recently.
Seems like theres always some altMom killing her kids at diffrnt times in history.
Remember that 1 lady who drowned her lil ones in the bathtubby? Sad times.

But back 2 our govy's/our nation's problems.
- We're trying 2 recover our blackout-queen shitshow drunk-mess-of-an-Economy.
Nd that's clearly taking a lil bit of work. Thnks Obama 4 investing ur time nd our big dollars 2 fix this shit. Hope ur plan works out.
- We're trying 2 get all the lil ppl good healthcare.
Bcuz a lot of our jobs/workplaces/coal mines refuse 2 give us the HealthCare that we need 2 go 2 the Doctor/OBGYN/Sperm-donating aka Cyrobank Facility.
- We're trying 2 save the Planet from an epic meltdown.doomsday.shitfest.ajfshjdgfs.
Which is gonna take the most work of all bcuz of all the damage that u/I/Exxon has done in the last hundreds of yrs.

Basically, there's already a lot on Obama nd frnds' plates.
A lot of which he talked about at his State.of.the.Union speech last night.
If u didnt watch it/CNN.com+facebook=Mrr it, im sure u can find some clips on the youtubes or something.
Nd he did a pretty good job, kept it pretty positive, made me feel a lil better than I did b4.


But 1 big thing that is clearly being a lil less talked about right now is that we're still trying 2 fight those pesky Terrorists in other nations beyond our borders.

There's still a lot of ppl that have screwed us over who are "at large".

Nd I'm not much of a revengeful person, but its an understandable goal of my lil nation in order 4 it 2 protect itself.

Which is why I, José, have decided 2 take bold action nd Help Support My Nation by
Joining the Army.

Just want 2 b "enlisted" nd hazed until I can't stand on my own 2 feet anymore.
Just want 2 "feel" 4 my country nd its efforts.
Just want 2 get crazy drunk with my army frnds evry night in Fallujah/Kabul/AndrewsAirForceBase.

Want 2 b one of those "Army Stud Hotties" who is featured on the UnitedStates' Government-Official XXX-Army-Boyz-Hot-Sluts Calendar evry year.
Want 2 conveniently place a threatening-looking gun near my reproductive organs as I pose with my bulging biceps 4 all the Ladies of the Wrld.

Want 2 someday b the "poster child" 4 the U.S. Army nd be featured in their super-scholarly commercials that always play while my lil cousins are watching Spongebob Squarepants.

Wondering what messages I can promote [aka I will be forced] 2 express 2 my great Nation via being featured in a made-for-MovieTheater-previews commercial 4 the U.S. Army.
- Would Moms+Dads b inspired by my heroism, nd thus would pressure their kiddies 2 enlist?
- Would tweens b intrigued by my heavy weaponry nd want 2 try it out for themselves?
- Would lil preschoolers b scared of the violence I'd be enduring on film nd would b scarred 4 life enough 2 never join the army?
- Would older folks b confused by the futuristic technology I'd b promoting nd thus feel more disconnected 2 their Nation's militaristic efforts?

Thinking now that I should sleep on this decision, as I guess it sort of requires me 2 potentially sacrifice my life/safety 4 my country.

Hoping 2 bring Peace instead of Bitch Wars,
José

Places 2 Flee 2, 2 Make Life A Lil Easier

Lately I've been trying 2 cum up with solutions on How 2 Better Improve My Current Life.
Bcuz there are so many diffrnt stressors currently thawing away at ur/my life.

Thanx 2 exams/papers/reports/deadlines/taxes/foreclosure warnings/losing my malpractice insurance/etc., life is just not an easy thing 2 do right now.

Nd because there r so many things currently affecting us all, a lot of the ppl I know have resorted 2 doing pretty reckless things in order 2 escape from their current states of stress.
- 1 frnd of mine recently spent an entire 24 hrs in the top floor of the library without evr taking a break 4 food, water, the bathroom, etc.
- Anothr human I know decided 2 OverDose on Adderall the night b4 their big exam in order 2 "focus better". Still not sure how this turned out, the human hasnt been able 2 speak since then.
- A bunch of bros that live in my apartment recently decided 2 "fk the economy" nd their morals nd unloaded all of their cash in Vegas. Rumor has it that they'll b moving out next week bcuz they cant afford the rent anymore.
- Accordingly, my bff's mom just started doing Shrooms 4 the first time.

But srsly. I dont want 2 OverDose on Drugs nd die. Ok maybe a lil bit.
But overall, I've been looking 2 find a real solution 2 Improve my Life.

So far I've tried a few things here nd there:
- I tried writing a novel based on my real life. But then I realized that the plot was too graphic 4 mainstream audiences nd the character development was horrendous.
- I tried bcuming addicted 2 painkillers. But Vicaden got rly expensive/my next-door neighbor stopped making my favorite homemade Advil-Morphene-Penecillin mash-up drug cocktails.
- I had my girlfrnd's mom plan my funeral. We got in a fight over the flower arrangement nd the fact that I promised an illicit lover of mine that she could b the go-go dancer at my funeral.

But sadly, none of these things rly helped 2 improve my life. In fact, in most cases, it just made my life a lil worse.

Howevr, I have good news.
I've finally figured out the 1 thing I need 2 do 2 Improve my Everyday Life:
Run Away.

That's right.
Running Away would improve my life so very much.
I wouldnt have 2 deal with the ppl who i h8 around me.
I wouldnt have 2 pay the rent evry month.
I wouldnt have 2 have ppl b aware of where I am at all times.
I would b more-or-less free.

Yes, I'd b poor. But i'd find some easy most-likely-illegal job somewhere.
Yes, I'd have no place 2 live. But there's a lot of nice basements all over the wrld.
Nd CouchSurfing is so "in" right now.

So now I'm trying 2 figure out where I want 2 Run Away to...
I've narrowed it down 2 a few places.
- Any of the beaches near L.A... Yeah, im sure it would b easier 2 track me down if I stayed nearby, but i rly do love SouthrnCalifornia nd would love 2 be near the beach. Nd it would make it a lot easier 2 bring all my lil personal belongings.


- Miami, Florida, USofA.
Ive been there b4. Nd I usually rly like it, altho I get quickly fed up with the extreme stereotypes that live there aka SketchCubans, FlamingGays, ElderlyJews.
But on the same lines as the L.A. beaches, I love the ocean, nd im sure I would meet some rly frndly ppl aka Models who would take me under their wing, feed me well, nd I could get in2 some pretty bangin parties with them.
xx More posts written about Miami located here: http://lanouveau.blogspot.com/search/label/Miami lolz xx


- Grozny, Chechnya: The capitol city of the best lil unrecognized-country in the wrld.
Home 2 TwoHundredThousand of the wrld's best lil impoverished hipsters, its a city that has a lot of potential. So what if there's a lot of terrorism, corruption, tensions with Russia, nd kidnappings? It's still a great place 2 raise a family, get a job, nd above all, run away 2.

I'm pretty sure around this time of yr, plus with the wrld economy in shambles, that there r some great vacation deals 2 Chechnya. But act soon while the country still remains!


Have any othr places u think I should/could Run Away 2?
Want 2 hear ur Ideas. Lolfestivus.

This bitch just wants 2 Run Away 4 the Day,
José

A Musical Ejaculation via Coachella

There is nothing as musically amazing as Coachella.
Bcuz srsly, Coachella just might be the most musically intuitive machine in history.

Every year, unlike any other MusicFestival, unlike any other RecordCompany, unlike any other HitPredictingBlog, Coachella always delivers the best bands/artists, period. Most of whom usually make it huge after their Coachella debuts.
But srsly, they always do it.
Evry year.
Without fail.

\\\ Want 2 take a stroll down CoachellaMemoryLane with u [starting with 2k4] 2 express how incredible the lineups rly are: \\\

at Coachella 2k4, Radiohead, Pixies nd Air were some of the big names, but it also featured lil-knowns like The Thrills nd The Killers way b4 either got famous.

at Coachella 2k5ive, Coldplay may have headlined the 2day event, but othr unknown artists such as M83, M.I.A., Diplo, Spoon, nd Tegan and Sara were all performers b4 their prime.

at Coachella 2kSixxx, the last 2day-only festival staked up some amazing acts who were somewhat known like Sigur Ros, The Shins nd The White Stripes, but also had an incredible line-up of on the rise artists like Sufjan Stevens, Sia, Imogen Heap, Rogue Wave, nd Andrew Bird. Can’t believe all of these artists were towards the bottom of the line-up.

at Coachella 2k7, they stepped up the game even more with Björk nd RHCP headlines, Manu Chao nd Interpol on the second tier, but on the very end of the lineup were, if u can believe it, Amy Winehouse, Girl Talk, Justice, Mika, Lupe Fiasco, Ratatat, nd CSS.

at Coachella 2ZroZro8, the best best best one yet / possibly of all time, Jack Johnson was the big man in Indio, along with Death Cab 4 Cutie, the Verve, nd Portishead. Back from 2k5ive, Tegan&Sara nd M.I.A. all made 2nd appearances, this time much further up in the line-up; Justice performed 4 their 2nd yr in a row too. But who were some of ppls far down in the line-up? Uffie, MGMT, The Bird and the Bee, Architecture in Helsinki, Cut Copy, Duffy, Black Kids, Deadmau5, and the list goes on and on and on.

Nd now, in just 2 months or so, Coachella 2kNine will b upon us.

The line-up is of course, incredible.

[Artist I'm most excited about are highlighted in the not-so-lil graphic above]

But its fair 2 say that at first glance, it looks a tiny bit sub-par from last yr's incredible-as-fk lineup.
But altho u/I/we may look at the list for Coachella 2kNine nd initially think its not necessarily as OMG-impressive as last yrs festival, I'm confident that by the time I look back on this list in 6months-2yrs from now, I’ll probably b shaking in my pants when i remember that these performers were actually there at Coachella 2kNine. Bcuz the ppl that perform at Coachella always wind up making it huge in the alt/indie scene within the months after.

Nd as an L.A. newbie, nothing excites me more than thinking about being a part of Coachella.
Just want 2 have the Best / Most Cliché Coachella Experience Ever.
- Want 2 pass out from dehydration.
- Want 2 get drugged while I'm camping out in the desert.
- Want 2 have my first mini-heart failure while listening 2 the Ting Tings.
- Want 2 have my identity stolen at a convenience store in lil downtown Indio.
- Want 2 musically 'fall in love' with 1 of the lessr-known artists that I muster enough courage 2 interview after their show.
- Want 2 fill up 4 memry cards worth of photographs that I took from the wknd on my Canon Rebel.
- Want 2 be offered "cheese" [aka a cocktail of Tylenol PM & Heroin] by Sir Paul McCartney.
- Want 2 run out of gas along I-10 b4 I even hit Palm Springs on the way home.
- Want 2 enjoy a 'religious experience' with hipsters that I randomly meet during the wknd.

Want 2 hear from u's all who r going to Coachella/wish u were going 2 Coachella.
What are ur Coachella goals 4 this yr?
What do u hope 2 achieve during these 3 holy days of goodness?
What indie/rock/alt band do u plan on falling head-ovr-heals 4 once the wknd is over?

Hoping 2 get 2 know the Norwegian singer Ida Maria better [performing friday]... maybe someday she'll b on another 1 of my Scandinavian-music-loves post.

Nd I admit it, Ida Maria is 1 of those artists that I'd never heard of b4 looking at the Coachella 2kNine line-up. Nd even now, I still feel like I dont rly "know" her yet.
Hoping that I get 2 know her better at Coachella.



Hoping that Coachella brings me closer 2 upcoming artists like Ida Maria nd more.
Hoping that Coachella brings me further away from the HighSkoolMusical3 soundtrakk.

xx Bonus Ida Maria mp3 track... listen nd help me 2 decide if u/I like this chick or love this chick xx

Ida Maria - I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked

Just Wanna B Bitchin' at Coachella right Na,
José

Remixes, Getting Down, and More Technological Feats

L.A. Nouveau proudly presents: an inside look at what cool stuff technology is bringing 2 our lil lives via the Interweb/Computer Stations.

As previously discussed, sometimes I kinda h8 the Internet.
Just feel like it can easily bcum a nuisance in my life, that it creates a lot of wasted time nd bad habits.
But sometimes, it brings me closer 2 some amazing things... 3 of which I will highlight below:

1. It brings me closer 2 my fave TV shows.
Bcuz I no longer own a TV/have money 2 pay 4 my TiVo OnDemand with built-in DVDburner nd non-optional MegaHBOSubscription Sex4FreeXtraBundledPackage SuperStarz Pack.

So watching my fave TV shows online is the only real option.
Thank u Hulu 4 letting me catch up on the 30Rock episodes that I would otherwise miss.
Thank u Illegal-Websites-in-Japanese that allow me 2 see all of the seasons I've missed of the critically acclaimed tvseries The Bad Girls Club.

Thank u also 2 a lil program 4 ur/my laptop called Mojo, which lets u "steal" music, movies, nd tv shows from anybody in ur lil InternetNetwork who also has Mojo.
Now I'm running out of filespace on my Macbook but successfully have all 5 seasons of Entourage.

2. It brings me closer 2 Movies that I would never get 2 otherwise see.
Since I had 2 sell my used 1992 Chevy Lumina 2 pay 4 pills/prostitutes/poker, I cant rly get 2 the Theaters anymore.
Plus, most of the films I want 2 see aren't even in the Theaters near where I live.
Still waiting 4 the Slumdog Millionaire 2 be shown at the local movietheater.
Wish that the local movietheater-goers didnt boycott all films about gays... Thus, still waiting 2 see Milk + BrokebackMts. + TropicThunder.

Nd some gr8 movies just dont cum 2 most Theaters anymore.
Exmpl: a lil movie called "The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down": A movie made 4 Boys+Girls about 'getting down' aka having sex/taking drugs/throwing parties/etc. in Hollywood, California. The info in this film however can b applied 2 nearly any other Hipster location.
Trailer 4 the movie is herezies:


After viewing this epic film, I'm wondering how exactly I 'get down' in my own life, nd what exactly constitutes 'getting down'?
- Is 'getting down' the proper way 2 describe my risky behaviors with tween grrls who r merely gettin' restless on a saturday night?
- Does 'getting down' include my excessive habit of doing blow off of my Blackberry Storm?
- Will i still b 'getting down' if i opt 2 spend the night reading Walt Whitman via candlelight in my bedroom while listening 2 Kenny G?
- Does 'getting down' require me 2 be at a Club/DanceParty-venue or can I just 'get down' in the shower? \\\

Hoping 4 a Sequel to The Boys and Girls' Guide to Getting Down where they answer all my questions.


Nd finally, a third thing that the Interweb brings me closer 2...
3. Rmxs of my fave lil songs.
There r so many songs out there.
Nd b4 the explosion of DJs/GarageBand/iTunesPro, it was rare 2 find different versions of the same song.
Nowadays, evry1 is making remixes 2 evry song possible.
Nd with WebSites like HypeMachine nd elbo.ws (pronounced like the lil body part, elbows) nd frnd-of-L.A. Nouveau website JustHear!t, it has bcum superbly easy 2 find rmxs of ur fave songs all over the place.

Want 2 take this precious opportunity 2 act like a real mp3Blogger nd share some of my fave rmxs at the moment with u's all.

First up, Uffie.
Still a lil peeved with Carles 4 talking shit about this secret love of urs/mine/ours.
Nd since i'm usually 2 focused on my lil fave song "Pop the Glock", I wanted 2 bring u this harder, more intense take on "Ready To Uff".

Uffie - Ready to Uff (Hoshina Anniversary Remix)

Next, Britney.
Its been awhile since Britney has gotten her time on L.A. Nouveau, nd since she's about 2 kick off her tour, figured I'd show her a lil love and show this epic remix some blogplay.
Nd besides just 2 show her love, this remix is probably my fave rmx out there right now. Love the synthy chorus. Yes ma'am.

Britney Spears - Circus (Linus Loves Remix)

Here's anothr: Kid Cudi.
The Hipster scene's first lil hipster / blipster rapper, Kid Cudi is tearing up the UnitedKingdom as we speak nd is starting 2 make a dent in the scene here in the somewhat-united States too.

Kid Cudi - Day N' Nite (Minus Remix)

Finally, Lady Gaga.
Feel like I should try 2 appease the Gays more on L.A. Nouveau.
Thus, ur welcum gaycommunity 4 bringing u some Lady Gaga rmxs. But srsly, this Pet Shop Boys remix is pretty bangin', nd makes this otherwise just "eh eh" song rly legit 2 listen 2.

Lady Gaga - Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) (Pet Shop Boys Remix)

Hope all these mp3s/movie-enlightenment suffices 4 not blogging in far 2 many days 4 u bitches,
José

Is Art What We Are? via The Garden State Movie

So last night I fell asleep watching 1 of my fave lil Hipster / alt / indie movies of all time.
No, it wasnt Space Jam, but thats a rly good guess.
Love/miss u MikeyJordan/BugsBunny/Looney Tunes. h8 u Space Aliens aka MonStars who try 2 screw over the lil Looney Tunes characters.

But back 2 the indie movie I actually watched last night.
It was ZachBraff's Garden State.


Garden State is a film about
a. Going "home".
b. Falling in love with an AltGrrrl.
c. What north/central New Jersey, USA is rly like.
d. How incredible indie music rly is.
e. Life=An Infinite Abyss.
f. TheShins.
g. Choose.ur.own.Meaningful.Interpretation
h. The Art in Evryday Life.

**Best answer = H.
U probably shouldve guessed that from my lil hint I gave in the GardenState Graphic above.
But the others answer options are sufficient 2 if thats rly how u feel.
Answer c. is also a rly good answer if ur from the North/Central New Jersey area of the UnitedStates.
Miss u Metuchen. Get a life, Rahway.

But yes, the Best Answer for this PopQuiz Question would be H. The Art in Evryday Life.

Garden State = A film exploration of the Art in our evryday lives.
This art exploration = why I/u/so many lil ppl probably love Garden State.


Wondering if its possible 2 capture the Artistic aspects of ur evryday life without filming the whole thing.
Thinking that filming ur entire existence would actually reverse the ability 2 find Art in ur life, nd would instead turn it in2 a Trashy RealityTV-based SoapOpera sensation where the beauty of ur life would be lost to the banal drama nd problem-ridden climaxes.

So how do we find the Artistic aspects of our lives?
I want 2 be able 2 acknowledge when I'm looking/doing something that could be generally recognized as Art.
Would most of the Alt/Mainstream/Other.subgroup population think that the T-shirt I'm wearing 2day = Art?
Do my Black/White-striped TOMS Shoes suffice as a piece of Art?
Is the Hipster PostModern photo display of Humans That I Love on my bedroom wall an artMuseum-worthy expression of Art?
Will our global society deem the Light-up Onesie that I used 2 wear 2 bed as a piece of historic Art?
Is my life/existance merely Art 4 the Masses?

Nd if my life/existance isn't Art, should I strive 4 it 2 be recognized as Art?
Want 2 be able to lean against a Bathroom Wall nd have my shirt match the Wallpaper just like ZachBraff nd these lil friends of mine below.

(image via weburbanist, thnx BlogFriend)

However, I dont want 2 be simply a Meme.
I dont want 2 be merely an exampl of a decade/century/other.unknown.time.period
Just want my style/genre/flow 2 be "appreciated" as a form of Artistic expression.

Just want L.A. Nouveau 2 embody a Los Angeles Hipster form of Art.

Thinking that we should take as many lessons from Garden State as we can.
I have found a direct link between L.A. Nouveau's theme of 2kNine aka "Give It Away" 2 the Imogen Heap movie-spawning hit "Let Go" via Frou Frou.
so let go, let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, yeah let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown.
Think we should try 2 "Give it Away" nd "Let Go" more in our lives 2 achieve the most we can out of this Life.
xx bonus mp3 of a related song from GardenState by the mainstream/alt Defies.all.categories.Band Coldplay that offers more good LifeAdvice by telling us "Don't Panic" cuz "we live in a beautiful wrld" xx

Coldplay - Don't Panic

Want 2 keep making Art 4 u lovely bitches,
José

More Forward Thinking Fashion, Presented by American Apparel

On a smoggy blue day in L.A., a hipster/brother/lover named José sits nd contemplates the future of what the humans around him will look like.
Wondering if speaking in the 3rd person is a better way 2 address the "public".
Wondering if speaking in the 3rd person will prove extremely damaging 2 my twisted ego.

But back 2 José's contemplation.
When I think of trends 4 the 2day nd 2morrow, I usually think of the hipster haven called American Apparel.
Nd as I seductively wear my CircleScarf evrywhere I go, I wonder if in a few yrs all the lil people that pass me by will b wearing some CircleScarf-inspired clothingwear.
Nd now that the new TieDie CircleScarf is out, I wonder if the original CircleScarf economy will take a direct hit.
Love u my fave lil Black&White TieDie CircleScarf.


h8 u/think ur ugly, Blue&Whitee Tiedie bullshit circleScarfy.

As we look beyond just the CircleScarf nd on 2 other fashion trends, I wonder if AmericanApparel's forwardthinking clothing garments will bcum the new standards.

Will evry1 catch on 2 the Thigh-High Socks motif?


Will ppl more actively use AmericanApparel's handy lil folduppable Emergency Bag when times of bad-needing crisis occur?


But most of all, when looking towards the future of fashion/the future of clothingwears, I remain terribly excited/wonderfully terrified 4 the day when Men everywhere bcum liberal enough with exposing their bodies that they ultimately wear this beautiful shirt of wonders:


Yes Sirs/Ma'ams/Moms/Dads/AZNs/PublicMasses, I expose u 2 the Men's BellyButton TummyExposing CutOff Tee.

Now all I want 2 do is wear this...
- On the sexiest beach evr.
- To a night on the town with my boyfrnd/girlfrnd.
- At a job interview 4 the Alumni Relations VP at Bogen State University.
- Evry time I fly anywhere 4evr more.
- When I visit my local zoo so I feel more connected 2 the unclothed animals.
- Choose.ur.own.dynamic.location.

Fashion Forwardness.= Yet Anothr Insightless Topic that L.A. Nouveau addresses.
Yet anothr meme/featurette by the Any1-can-contribute blog, L.A. Nouveau.
Part of the Interweb's Blogosphere.
A division of iMemes Inc., with promotional consideration provided by A Day Without Gays: the Musical and the H. Keller Foundation, supporting blogs, blind ppl, nd will-writers evrywhere.

xx Other L.A. Nouveau posts that discuss the CircleScarf / AmericanApparel that u would definitely b interested in if u liked the nature of this post xx:
http://lanouveau.blogspot.com/2009/01/circle-scarf-god-says-ur-welcome.html

Hoping 4 some more bitchtastic sponsorship,
José

NouveauMusic Takes U On A Trip 2 Scandinavia!

Sometimes, good music surprisingly cums from America.

Most times, good music understandably cums from France/Paris.

But right now, I've fallen back in love with some of the music of Scandinavia.
Sometimes bcuz of the EnglishSpeaking UnitedStates/UK/Aussie-centric wrld that we live in, it bcums easy 2 forget about the large contribution 2 our music&culture that cums from Scandinavia.


Historically, uve obviously got ABBA from Sweden.
Love/h8/miss u ABBA. Srsly, "Knowing Me Knowing U" is 1 of my lyfe's greatest anthems.

Still undecided on how I feel about Sweden.
Visited once; it was the middle of wintr, it was rly rly cold, nd I was there with the biggest collection of CuntyMoms evr. h8 u TeenTourGroups.


Wondring if i should revisit Sweden again.
Wonder if any1 remembrs me in Stockholm.
Hoping that some of the kids I met from Uppsala let me crash in their dorms if i visit.
Thinking about taking a semester abroad at Uppsala University. Heard that the Bro who invited KaZaA nd Skype went 2 Uppsala U.
Hoping that they have a lot of lil Swedish hipsters there.

But lets move 2 the present.
From that country i visited that 1 time aka Sweden, uve got the incredible José González whose Nick Drake cover alongside The Books was recently blogged here.

From a beautiful nd debatably Scandinavian nation call'd Iceland cums the incredible Sigur Rós, probably the most famous group 2 evr cum from Iceland.
If u dont know Sigur Rós, then ur legitimately missing out on 1 of Earth's greatest musical acts.
Basically, IncredibleInstrumentals+ElectronicSounds+InsanelyHallowingVocals = Sigur Rós.

Their most notable song, nd 1 of their most beautiful, "Hoppipolla", is currently being featured in a new trailer 4 the upcuming IMAXmovie 'Earth' based on the TVseries 'Planet Earth'.
Movie.Trailer.is.Here:


Bcuz L.A. Nouveau Loves U, here's the full song 4 ur listening pleasure:

Sigur Rós - Hoppipolla

1 More Scandinavian wonder 4 u's all, originating from Norway, is Röyksopp, a rly legit electronic duo that has been around since the late 90's.
The ElectroDuo Bros made their biggest dent in 2005 with their lil album 'Melody A.M.' nd will most likely expand their awesomeness this yr with their upcoming album 'Junior'.

Love this AlbumCover.
When I someday have an AltElectronic solo band, I want my first album's AlbumArt 2 look something like this.

Nd when I someday have this AltElectronic solo band, which I plan on naming The EmphyseMamas, I want 2 create a song that's as legit/electroFun/Happy! as the first single from 'Junior': "Happy Up Here".

I ask u now 2 please enjoy "Happy Up Here" by Röyksopp.

Röyksopp - Happy Up Here

Hoping u bitches enjoyed this lil Cultural excursion 2 Scandinavia,
José

Ally+Bro: A New Internet Meme

Humans cum in all shapes nd sizes.
W'all look diffrnt, w'all have diffrnt interests, w'all have diffrnt styles.
Its what separates us from goldfish, or flies, or AZNS... can nevr tell the individuals in those species apart from 1 anothr.

Want 2 take a look at the diffrnt types of ppl thru a new internet meme/party pixx featurette i'm introducing 2day called...
Ally+Bro: 1 Girl, Many diffrnt Bros.

Background info:
The othr night at 1 of L.A. Nouveau's fave lil party spots in L.A., I was surprised 2 find a lot of diffrnt kinds of bros.
I knew there'd b bros at this party spot, cuz there always r. But the level of just how many diffrnt bros there were made 4 a great Party Pixx-taking opportunity.

I thus had 1 of the L.A. Nouveau interns, who will go by the pseudonym Ally 2 protect her true identity, take a picture with each of the diffrnt types of Bros that we encountered.
In total there were nearly 40 diffrnt bros captured, but bcuz theres only so much space in the interweb that I can waste with this meme, I will display a random sampling of the Bros 4 u 2 enjoy.

So with that lil intro, I bring u the new Internet Meme/great BlogArt/Party Pixx-featurette that is Ally+Bro.


__

__

__

__

__

This has been anothr edition of
L.A. Nouveau PartyPixx: Helping u 2 feel like u were 'sort of' at that party instead of sitting in ur room reading this nd othr Blogs.


Lolzers.

Cant wait 4 the nxt party 2 create a new bitchy internet meme,
José

Help, Ive Fallen/Aged nd I Cant Get Up

Something happened 2 me 2day.
I realized something weird/strange/kinda bad/a lil unfortunate:
Im starting 2 feel rly old.

Im starting 2 feel like im part of the "old" ppl in the wrld.
Im starting 2 understand what ppl mean when they use the term "generational gap".

I feel like im getting 2 this point in life where there's no turning back, where things r beginning to bcum "set in stone".
Its this mysterious point that any1 who is 23/31/42/53/64 yrs old plus or minus can relate 2.

Its that point where u realize that ur age bracket is no longer the age demographic that mainstream media is trying 2 target anymore.
When u realize that all the commercials on tv arent rly meant 4 u, even tho ur watching them.
When u realize that ur at a concert nd ur standing in a sea of ppl younger than u.
When u realize that most of the latest newz being blogged about in the blogosphere r things uve never even heard about b4.
When u realize that u can no longer walk in2 a BestBuy without feeling rly overwhelemed nd depressed.
When u realize how scared u r 4 the next generation nd how overexposed they seem 2 b in comparison 2 us "older ppl".

But srsly...
There seems 2 b a lot more out there 2day thats techincally targeted 4 kids that I fear will prove rly dangerous 4 lil kiddies as they continue to "grow up".
Exmpl: This shit below.


TeleVision programmes like this just cant b good 4 kids.
This is something that should only b exposed 2 my frnds and I when we're on hallucinogenics.
Scared 4 the day when YoungAdultz look back on their childhood nd remember YoGabbaGabba as a show they watched when they were rly lil.


Just want 2 go back 2 a time when the stuff geared toward kids didnt cause me 2 have acid trip flashbacks.

Just want 2 go back 2 a time when a parent's biggest worry was that their kid would want 2 get Slimed.


Just want 2 go back 2 a time when the most intense sexual themes on tv were carefully concealed within the Brady Bunch, expressed thru Greg's acts of coersion, like getting middleschool girls 2 dance 4 him.


Miss u SimplerTimes.

Thankful that YouTube can bring us all back 2 those SimplerTimes b4 I/u/u's all got 2 "old" 4 society 2 apply 2 u anymore.
Wondring if there's any hope 2 bring the kids of 2day back 2 the SimplerTimes of our past.
Hoping that Obama will do something about this.
xx hint: the solution might involve sensorship lolz xx

Trying 2 listen 2 more music that represents SimplerTimes.

Such as this wonderful cover of a timeless, SimplerTimes classic Nick Drake.

This cover of "Cello Song" is by The Books + José González, which is 1 of the best duos ive ever heard of.  So chill-out, so indie, so beautifully soothing.

Plz do urself a favor nd enjoy:

The Books & José González - Cello Song (Nick Drake cover)

A lil scared of the lil Bitches of 2day,
José

Stand Up 4 Ur Emotions, 4 Uffie, 4 CoExistance

The following post is about our feelings. Not just mine/not just urs/not just u's all's.
Our feelings. All 2gether now. As my frnd N.D. would quote from 30Rock: "Emotions..."
So... lets talk about our "emotions".

Sometimes we're happy.
Like when we find out that the boss we h8 is being deported back 2 the Philippines, or when we find out there's an amazing buy 1 get 1 free sale on Vermouth at ur local Food4Less.

Sometimes we're sad.
Like when we realize that we're going nowhere fast in this silly lil un-Alt life we're living, or when we figure out that our best frnd put up an ad on Craigslist 4 a new bestie.

Sometimes, we're frustrated.
Like when we save that 20-page report on the predicted economic woes of the 2040's until the night b4 its due, or when we learn that the person we're hoping 2 hook up with 2morrow night refuses 2 kiss until marriage.

Sometimes, we're exctied.
Like when we find out that CSS is cuming back 2 town 4 anothr show with Natalie Portman's Shaved Head, or when we realize that our secret lovr from home is coming out 2 california 4 SpringBreak 2kNine.

Sometimes, we're scared.
Like when we discover that we're being followed on the streets by a creepy guy singing Strawberry Fields 4Ever, or when we watch 2 many End.Of.The.Wrld/2012 specials on TheLearningChannel/DiscovryChannel/LackOfHistryChannel.

Sometimes, we're drunk.
Like when we forget 2 moderate ourselves nd not take booze from buckets at that Black&White-RobertRodriguez-Directed Film-themed party at a designated GLBT apartmnt complex, or when we buy five bottles of Vermouth 2 share with our frnds but wind up enjoying it all 4 ourselves.

Nd sometimes, we're angry.
Like when we find out that Sparks, evry1's favey alcoholic+energy drink, was being pulled off the market bcuz of stupid lawsuits about health risks, or when we borrowd our frnd's camera one time nd then it got stolen at a football game but then we paid 4 her 2 get a new 1 anywayz.
OR... when Hipsterrunoff bashes our fave trashy AltCelebs.
Like what happened 2day.
When aftr a week of somewhat ignoring Carles (sry dudeski), I decided 2 go back on HRO just 2 see what he was up 2, u know.

So it should come as no surprise that I was initially rly happy 2 see a Post written about the 1 nd only UFFIE.
But aftr admiring the naked photo of her being graffiti'd on by her gayBoyfrnd, Carles, the self-acclaimed writer of the Hipster Runoff blog, contined with a bullshit rant about how he doesnt want 2 associate himself with Uffie/Justice/EdBangerRecords artists anymore because he is ready 2 "Grow Up" nd move on 2 more quality artists.
Read the BlogPost 4 urself by clicking here.

So u can imagine how this made me feel.
Nd thus, there was only 1 thing I could do: Comment nd provide a rebuttal.
Gonna share it with u's all here now:

"Dear Carles,
h8 u bcuz of this post.
Srsly.
U write:
'In 2k9, now that we are closer to bringing authentic art/artists to the mainstream, I will no longer honor memes like this.'
Mainstream doesnt = authntic.
Nd nor should it.
What separates me from the next mothrfker is that I have my authentic altLoves.

Nd srsly, the alt community is its own community just like the mainstream community.
We both have our legit artists [FleetFoxes + Coldplay]
We both have our dance electro shit [Cut Copy + Lady Gaga]
We both have our “deep” singr/songwritrs [Sigur Ros + Feist]
We both have our potential-CrossOver DJs [Steve Aoki + DJ AM]

Nd We both have our trashy loves [UFFIE + Britney Spears]

Its not about “growing up”
Its about accepting diffrnt types of ppl.
Its about having diffrnt groups within the alt music community.
Its about CoExistance yall.
Need u 2 stop being 2 good / 2 elitist, Carles."

Hope u agreed with that lil response.
Nd now, I'm asking u a favor.
It wont take much time/effort/energy, I promise.

But its time 2 take a stand. Its time 2 defend the trashy celebs that u love.


Its time 2 not let injustice go down on this bitch right here.

So... Im asking u 2 leave a reply comment after my comment on HRO.
All u have 2 write is "Agreed", or u can write something more.
But leave a reply 2 my Comment.
Here's a link 2 where I commented. Just hit reply aftr my comment.
Just want Carles 2 see how ppl r really feeling.

Thnx 4 taking the time 2 defend ur bitch lovers,
José

The Film Industry Causes Drug Abuse, Anorexia, Death nd More

Los Angeles makes me live in a very diverse community.
There's lots of diffrnt types of ppl.
There r AltBros, regularBros, skanks, BusinessBogens, lesbians, Sk8rMoms, GayDads, HollywoodHunks, fugly girls, nd Hipsters.

But 1 huge demographic that is rly huge around me is CinaNerds.
aka Cinema-lovers, nd by lovers I rly mean phenatics, nd by phenatics I rly mean ppl who r straight up mentally ill bcuz all they know/talk about/breathe/do is films.

Nd while these ppl r truly crazy, they have 2 make u wonder:
What is the effect of movies on my life?
Nd just as importantly, What does my fave movies say about me?

Bcuz as I continue 2 meet humans, visit their places of residency nd witness their film collection, I realize more nd more how much ppl's fave movies r often a reflection of the kind of person they r.

Bcuz I am José nd José = u nd me nd w'all, I refuse 2 use myself as an exmpl.

But let me give u some othr scholarly exmpls:
- Theres a total Broski who lives down the hall from me. Stole some alk from his room once. Sry dude. Anyways, as I was grabbing his bottle of Andre nd flask full of SouthrnComfort, I stumbledupon his DVD collection, which went something like this:
- Beerfest the Unrated vershion, Blades of Glooorry, TalledegaNights: The Story of the Bumblefuck NASCAR dude: a bioflick, Wild Hogs.
Yes, this was legit this kids movie collection.
Nd it should cum as no surprise that this Broski spends the majority of his day getting ripped/picking up skanks/playing beerpong.

Anothr exmpl:
- My couzin has this girlfrnd who, h8 to dis my couzin but, would b a lot prettier if her boobs werent just her ribcage, if her stomach existed, nd if her hair didnt constantly fall out.
But anyways, 1 day I went 2 help my couzin move all of her stuff to his new apartmnt. Nd aftr I came across all these pairs of jeans that she saves from when she was 7 yrs old nd sometimes wears when she goes out, I found her lil movie collection. Here's what I found:
- Super Size Me, Coyote Ugly, The Virgin Suicides, Drop Dead Gorgeous, GossipGirl SeasonOne DVD set
We can see here some1 totally fked up, sometimes wanting 2 die, nd someone whose BodyMassIndex is around an 11, on a good day.

So while these movie collections clrly relate 2 their owners, it makes me wondr:
R the movies i'm watching totally screwing up my lyfe??

Does the fact that im secretly a lil obsessed with The Virgin Suicides mean that im probably gonna hang myself in my basement/stick my head in an oven/O.d. on sleeping pills/die from CO2 poisoning?

Does my best frnd's love 4 the film "Mean Girls" mean that he's secretly a Mean Girl?
Nevr thought of him like that b4.

Does my mom's fave movie being "American Beauty" mean that theres a whole lot I rly should know about my family dynamics / my dad's evryday dealings?

4 all of the above hypothetical questions, the answr is mostly No.
Altho I did try 2 stick my head in a microwave once... just wanted 2 see what it would b like. I'm a lil curious sometimes, sry.

But all in all, I think that the movies u's all/I more.than.like/LOVE oftn reflect a lil something about us.
Its not necessarily something that we r, or that we want, but instead could b something we'all r scared of, wish 4, or just "get" us somehow.

XX BONUS mp3 from "The Virgin Sucidies" soundtrack... LOVE the band Air who did the whole soundtrack XX


Air - Playground Love

Nevr want 2 b the kind of bitch that "gets" Beerfest,
José

Who Do U Think U R, Taking these Pixx nd Leaving It Up Here?

Time 4 a PartyRecap.
U know those parties where u 4 some weird/bizarre/unknown reason u cant remember much of anything that went down at the party as u try 2 remember it the nxt morning?
If uve evr blacked out/browned out/grayed out/died after a party, then u know how nice/scary it is 4 someone 2 relay 2 u what happened last night.

So let L.A. Nouveau b ur PartyRecapper/SoberSister.
Cuz i'm about 2 recap 4 u 1 of the funniest/greatest/fiercest/most-phototaken parties of the Yr.
Then again, its only LateJan-EarlyFeb, so declaring L.A. Nouveau's first official party as the Party-of-the-Yr is merely saying that its the best Party 2 cum in the last 31 days.
But still, of all the parties wrldwide that went down in the last 31 days, this party was definitely numberOne.

What was the party, exactly?
Let me introduce u 2 L.A. Nouveau's first official Party.
L.A. Nouveau presents:
My Dumplings - The Party.

U know the video.
It's been linked on this blog over half-a-dozen times.
Nd with so much passion, angst, unique characters, epic quotes, etc., it felt only right 2 make "My Dumplings" the theme of the blog's first official Party.

To explain the wonder/hilarity of this party in wrds could b somewhat difficult.
Instead I would like 2 show u.
Secretly looking 2 turn L.A. Nouveau in2 a Party Pixx site.
Just want 2 take Party Pixx evrywhere I go.
Just want 2 b more like theCobrasnake/LastNightsParty/etccc.

Just want u 2 cum 2 L.A. Nouveau 4 a quick catch up on the Hipster culture around u but then stay 4 a lil longer 2 look at all the Hipster pixx that I took at that Coke-convention party last wknd.
Just want 2 hire Max Martin 2 write the wrld's most catchy/poptastic/trashtastic song evr 2 bcum the official theme song of L.A. Nouveau's PartyPixx section.

But b4 I can get a theme song written, need 2 post some pixx.
So... Welcum 2 L.A. Nouveau's first-official-PartyPixx posting.


Photo-crazy bitches r wild,
José

Michael Phelps Is No Longer An Alien

Welcum back Moms+bros alike 2 the L.A. Nouveau NewsCntr: keeping u updated with the Wrld.

Found out some sleazy nuze this morning.
By now u may have seen the photo that is bumpin' nd grindin' All-Ovr-the-Interweb right now.
I'm talking about the photo of evry1's favey lil swimmer Michael Phelps.


N0, not this spotted: lilPhelps aka I.can.see.ur.peen photo.


NO, not this TRL-grrls want 2 touch ur BellyButton picture.
H8ed/miss u TotalRequestLive. Wondering what the No.1 music viddy wud have been 2day if TRL was still around... probably that My.Life.Wud.SUCK.Without.U song that evry1's been talking about / ive been blogging about.


NO ! NO ! NO !, i mean its cool that Phelpy-phelp is down with the AZNs, but srsly, none of these r the photo that i was referring 2.

Gonna explain the photo 2 u nd then it'll b posted at the end.
The photo, which hardly even looks that much like Mike , contains Michael Phelps... brace urselvs... hitting up a bong.
Like, of weed.

Nd the press is going nuts.
Some headlines I found 4 u's this morning:

- "Michael Phelps' Big Bong Theory"
- "Phelps Apologizes for Dopey Move"
- "Michael Phelps' Bong Incident: Are We To Blame?"
- "Phelps' Reputation Up In Smoke"
and my personal fave:
- "Michael Phelps' Pot Photo: When Kids' Heroes Fall"

So, I have a confession. Not gonna lie anymore.
I was nevr a big MichaelPhelpsFan.
Ive always had some respect 4 Phelps. I mean, he's a good kid nd all.
But I never rly liked him that much. Kinda borderline h8ed him. Just felt like he never "got" me.
I imagined that if we were 2 go on a lunch date evr, it probably wouldnt go well.

But thnx 2 the surfacing of this photo, I have 1 thing 2 say:
Phelps: Love u. No longer h8 u at all. Not even a lil.
Id like 2 conclude with a letter i just wrote 2 Michael Phelps.

Dear Mikey,
This is José. U know, the 1 from L.A. Nouveau.
I just wanted 2 Thank u. But srsly.
Thnx 4 being a Real Human.
Nd I wanted 2 say Im sry.
Sry that u have 2 hand out all these fake apologies 2 the NewsMediaFacist wrld.
I promise that if u ever cum 2 do an interview 4 the L.A. Nouveau NewsCenter that u would never have 2 give me any fake apologies.
Hope u can sleep easier 2nite.
Knowing that a hipster blogger now loves u.
Knowing that ppl now can relate better 2 u.
Knowing that I "get" u.
Glad 4 u that u have Weed in ur life 2 sometimes use on a once-in-a-while recreational basis.
Happy 4 u that u dont have 2 b in the closet about it anymore.
Hope 4 u that this doesnt stop u from getting high in the future.
Thnx again.

Swim On.
Fight On.
Beat the CuntyMoms aka MainstreamMedia.

With ruv, José


This.is.the.Photo.that.Ive.Been.Discussing.About

What wud u write 2 Michael Phelps?
Leave a comment of what u would write below nd maybe I'll send it on to him as a P.S. from my lil letter.

Tellin the Bitchslapped wrld off,
José