SRSLY. Never have I been so insulted//wanted2VOM by an "AWARD SHOW"
So an ad 4 this apparent Awardz Show came up on 1 of my top fave blogs. Nd I clicked it sort of as a joke, u know, just 2 see what i should b in store 4.
First pops up some video with QueenLatifah (the shitshow host of the awardzcermony) talking about how change has cum 2 america as a blue sky background nd symbolic music plays.
So my first thought: Legit... Latifah is gettin all political on us with some Obama talk.
But then the background cuts, the music halts, nd she bursts out nd says: "U know I'm talkin bout the PPLZ CHOICE, right?!" as she smiles nd is all proud of herself 4 turning an Obama-reference in2 an advertizmnt 4 the PPLZ CHOICE AWRD.
Bitch.
So then it gave me the option 2 vote. Nd I obviously opted 2 exercise my right.
But I wasn't aware that my right2vote would b used in the most absurd absene diluted way ive ever heard of for an Award Show.
First it asked me 2 vote 4 my Fave New TV Comedy.
Here r the options it gave me:
First of all, i'm pretty sure neither I nor any othr American has ever seen any of these shows.
The only 1 ive even evr heard of was Kath&Kim, cuz it was advertyzed on a bus once.
So I voted 4 that 1 bcuz of their bettr advertyzing.
Nd I hoped that the next category wud have some bettr voting options.
This is what I got instead:
Favrite USER-GENERATED VIDEO?! WTF>>DOES>>THAT>>EVN>>MEAN>>
First of all, Barack Roll? Rly? A BarackObama meets RickRoll'd aka this shit is so old//donzo//lame its not even funny.
Then, who the fk is Fred? Never even heard of that shit.
Then, the StarWars ACapella bullshit. That dude isn't even the one rly singing. Mrrrr.
Then, WTF is WASSUP 2008?!? I dont think NE1 has evr seen that shit.
And "Where the Hell Is Matt? 2008" more like WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BULLSHIT AWARDZ SHOW?! 2008
"FAVE ONLINE SENSATION" ?!
What on earth does that mean?
Like, HRO?
Like, last.fm?
Except all of these r videos?
Paris Hilton's McCain cumback vid was fine nd all, but how the fk is it an "Online Sensation"?
Nd what constitutes an online sensation?
Nd HOW is A WEEZER MUSIC VIDDY the same as an ONLINE SENSATION?!?
h8 u/h8 u//H8 YOU PPLZ CHOICE AWRDZ.
So peeved I could vomit.
But then guess what?
IT GOT WURSE.
YUPSTERS.
I can hear it now: "And the award 4 the canceled TV show that most deservd a 2nd chance goes 2...."
But srsly. Does any1 know any of these TV shows that they list above?
Ive honestly nevr even heard of any of them.
If I had 2 guess what they were about, here's what I'd say:
Do Not Disturb - a thriller show about a motel owner who is a secret serial killer
Easy Money - It's like WhoWants2BaMillionaire meets Deal Or No Deal except the ppl arent dumb and when they're up to $20,000, they take the money. As my frnds at Staples might say,
"That was easy".
The Ex List - a rly distraught former-douchebag feels that in order 2 better his life, he has 2 go back nd revisit all of his exGF's/BF's nd apologize. gr8 adventures ensue. lolzers.
My Own Worst Enemy - a dark comedy/dramedy about going back 2 high school.
Valentine - i'm not even gonna give a synopsis 4 a show with such a dumb//shitty//wannabe artsy title.
These awardz make me h8 evrything.
I used 2 love awardz. Still do love some. But now I just feel hurt. Nd I feel like w'all r hurting them too.
These lyrics r how I feel towards awardsshows right now.
At first it started with the eyes
I'm like uh uh no way your sister can't know
And so the tension slowly builds
You got them
Then you kissed my cheek my knees get weak
My heart just skipped a beat so I just froze
Then you touched me there I knew you would
And girl you touched me good I'm like oh oh
Know what know what know what you know what
I'm sorry sorry sorry sorry
It hurts me it hurts you it hurts me what we do
But so good so good so good so good
N.E.R.D. - You Know What
Miss/Need U Oscars.
H8 u Grammys//KidsChoiceAwards//PPLZ CHOICE BULLSHIT.
I'm srsly Betchless,
José
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