U Have the Power 2 "Win A Free Vacation"

I am in need of a vacation.
But not just any vacation.
I need a vacation from the InterWeb.

I/u’s/we all need a lil Vacation from the InterWeb.

I know it sounds scary.
Cuz srsly. What the fk r we doing if we’re not using the InterWeb?
Nd i know the fears that r running thru ur mind as I suggest this vacation.

- How am i gonna poke my bffls? I CANT LOSE THIS POKE WAR LOLZ

- How will i read about whats going on in the wrld? but by “whats going on in the wrld” i mean like where LinsdayLohan and SammyRonson were this wknd. NEED 2 KEEP TRACK OF MY FAVEY CELEBEYS LOLZ

- How will i maintain a stable relationship with my boyfrnd while he’s on patrol in Chechnya? I CANT LAST A DAY W/OUT SKYPE-BERSEX HEHE

- How will i check my stocks so i know when 2 pull out? I REFUSE 2 ADMIT THAT ITS A LIL 2 LATE 2 TAKE MY MONEYS OUT OF LEHMAN BROS LOLZ

- How am i gonna know what HipsterRunoff is bitching about? What if he cums out of the closet while I’m offline? NEED HRO’s BULLSHIT IN MY LYFE OR ELSE I WILL DECUMPOSE LOLZERS

I get ur fears. Srsly.
But i feel like im 2 controlled by the InterWeb.
I feel like ive fallen subject 2 the evils of the InterWeb.
I'm pretty sure my frnd Jesus Christ warned me about succumbing 2 the InterWeb once.
Just feel like if I cant rely/do.my.life/function without the InterWeb, then what does that say about me?

I want 2 b independent.
I want 2 b free.
I want 2 b my own Species.

I want 2 have the power 2 b free from the InterWeb.
Nd so should u.



I want 2 not b constantly worried what new ViralVideo is getting millionz of plays on the YouTube.
I want 2 not live in fear that my frnds nd familymembers r all dead bcuz they havent updated their fb status in a lil while.
I want 2 not feel like i shouldnt go 2 the gym bcuz i might get a rly important life-changing wall post in the next 30 min.
I want 2 not have 2 pray evry night that my creditcard info isnt stolen by that SwearItsFree pornsite that I "accidentally" signed up 4 a few mnths ago.

I want 2 b free from the InterWeb if i choose 2 b.
Thus, I will clrly b checking my blogstats all day, uploading new fb pixxx of my frnds at the beach/at a bar/at a new club opening/jumping off a roof, nd blogging once again l8r today.

Cant escape the bitchiness of the IntrWebbb,
José