The Best Songs of the Yr R Here (via MusicNouveau)

The time of yr has finally cum.

No, Im not talking about XXXmas. Nor the Winter Solstice. Nor the "time 2 go see the inlaws again goddamit" time of yr.

Im talking about the time of yr 2 remember, 2 reflect, 2 enjoy the best of what 2kNine brought 2 us musically.

Im talking about ranking the top songs of the Yr.

Plz enjoy "The Best 50 Songs of 2kNine According 2 José" on MusicNouveau.

Many thnx nd happy holidays if ur still not too postmodern 2 celebrate them.

Peace + bitch,

José

Post 1 of a Pre-post to a Future Post called 1 YR L8R

Cuming soon 2 the L.A. Nouveau blog... a very special post borderline meme that will b titled
One Yr L8r: A Historical Look at the L.A. Nouveau Empire


This will b published throughout the 1 yr anniversary month of the L.A. Nouveau blog (which is October), a blog that started out as a simple way 2 vent about "modern society" bullshit.
A blog that went on 2 bcum an angsty analysis of "culturally relevant" (via HRO) topics.
A site that expanded in2 an entire "family"/"network"/choose.ur.own.Web2.0.description of blogs, tumblrs, sites, events, etc.

Nd while the blog itself has gone long ignored 4 the last several months, its ideas have only expanded further.

- Its expanded in2 a more "articulate" more "socially acceptable" more satirical Online Museum that is called Artifacts of Modernity, which can be viewed @ ArtofMod.com.

- Its wonderful musical postings have been all cumpiled in2 one central place called MusicNouveau (music being the things that r posted, nouveau being part of the name of the blog/”family network infrastructure”) which can b found @ MusicNouveau.tumblr.com.

- Its starvation 4 entertainment has been executed thru crazy events via L.A. Nouveau parties, 50% of which have resulted in some sort of legal/police intervention.

So as L.A. Nouveau continues 2 move fwrd in ways outside of the original blog, it feels like its good time 2 "look at our past" in order 2 "best understand the present" in order 2 "help us best succeed in the future".
Please join me on this magical journey thru teen angst, pseudo-hipsterdom, hyper-irony, meta-physical means 4 understanding the world around us.

So much has been said here/commented here/vented here/demonstrated here/symbolized here, nd while its been expressed in the cuntyest form evrr via lack of vowels nd disturbing bulletpoints nd etc., its overall quite a beautiful manifest of "human understanding" nd "sociological evolution".

ImportantNote: Sry if u ever felt "abandoned" by José via the lack of L.A. Nouveau blogposts. But if u couldnt tell already, the L.A. Nouveau spirit has far transcended this lil blog, nd I hope u've been able to experience that spirit thru other more "meaningful" avenues.

// The month of October will b an exciting time 4 the L.A. Nouveau family. //
Artifacts of Modernity has recently sparked interest from a rly cool online web business.
MusicNouveau has recently been reblogged quite a few times via tumblr.
Carles from Hipster Runoff now "follows" Artifacts of Modernity.
This season's first full-fledged L.A. Nouveau party is soon approaching.
Nd the blog will re-emerge as a place for historical analysis for at least the remainder of the month, nd who knows what will happen from there.

Thnx u's all 4 all ur support/h8/love, nd enjoy the memories that will flow throughout this lil Month of October.

Peace Love Bitch,
José

//
(looking fwrd 2 ur comments so plz leave something)

Back in the Game, Sortofs.

Intro: This is a BlogPost that begins by discussing my personal absence from the Blogosphere nd my decision 2 get back in the game a lil.

"2 Blog or not 2 blog" has been both Will Shakespeare nd my personal question of the last few weeks. With hardly any free moments in my lil ol life, L.A. Nouveau has hardly received much posting love of late. So much traveling has occurred (aka Get excited 4 some amazing destinations via the "José Meets World" meme), so many ppl met, so many landmarks defaced, etc.

But in the last few weeks, so much Music News has been pouring from out of evry lil hole and crack that I simply have no choice but 2 re-start up the L.A. Nouveau engines nd get this baby lubed cocked nd ready 2 fire once more. (U choose whether this was a SexualRefrnce or not)

This time, however, in order 2 bring u more up2date music findings, I have gone 2 the dark side via TUMBLR in order 2 supply u with the latest.

So, as of this very moment in time, I present 2 u all...

MusicNouveau. A place 4 José-approved Music. A place 2 quickly browse nd instantly download/listen 2 quality tunes. A place 4 losing urself in the music the moment you own it you better never let it go (sry bout that, started channeling Eminem there).

The link is this: MusicNouveau.tumblr.com

Nd here's a lil peek at whats cuming up in the next few days on MusicNouveau:

- Sufjan Stevens new album??? Zero 7's new genius creations. New song by Air. Imogen Heap has new shit 2. New band 2 watch 4: The Dodos. Nd more. Its all gonna b there.

This could b the greatest experiment of all time or the biggest flop of my career. Either way, u's all will b doing it with me.

Hope u bitchfully enjoy,

José

Where in the World [of non-L.A.] is José?

A long long time ago, the alt/hpstr/transsexual/hermo blog L.A. Nouveau presented 2 u's all a lil meme called "Where in the World [of L.A.] is José?"

The purpose of this meme was 2 help u connect 2 some interesting/cool/whatevr places around the Los Angeles, California-area.

Unfortunately, while there were many travels via José 2 many diffrnt areas of L.A., there was only 1 post on the topic ever.

(It was on Malibu. It can be read by clicking the following link: http://lanouveau.blogspot.com/2009/01/where-in-wrld-of-la-is-jose-bu.html *there r real live pics here of the L.A. Nouveau interns!!!*)

The logo looked something like this:

Just wanted 2 remind u of what this meme was like.

Nd I bring it up 4 good reason.

Bcuz since its SummerTime, L.A. Nouveau is "doing something crazy".

Something its never ever done b4 in its entire sporadic 8-months of existence.

José is leaving L.A.

(Gasps, shrills, moans, MariahCarey-highpitched-vocalShrieks, etc.)

Dont wrry, Ill b returning 2 L.A. eventually. This is only temporary 4 the Summer.

So instead of isolating myself in L.A., Im exploring the WRLD.

Nd along the way want 2 update u's all on the many Hipster Happenings beyond Los Angeles County, CA.

So get ready frnds/girlfrnds/boyfrnds/moms/dads(happyalmostfathersday, btdubbz)/NewlyGrads nd beyond, 4 a whole new L.A. Nouveau experience about Finding Hipster-ness/Blipster-ness all over the world.

I bring u:

JOSÉ meets WORLD.

- This is the first L.A. Nouveau meme that will actually b followed thru on / the first that there will actually b multiple postings on / the first that will b continually updated thruout the SummerMonths (As my frnds Friendly Fires/Au Revoir Simone once sang, "I promise, Im on it"). -

So get ready 4 some high quality commentaries + photos of the alt/blipster/hipster happenings found internationally from José's summer voyages around the wrld.

Wanna know what wonderful place on earth is first up?

Well I have news...

Im not telling.

Until 2morrow.

So check back 2 find out nd get ready 2 start living vicariously thru L.A. Nouveau.

Bitching is so INT'L,

José

The French: Supplying Us With Much

Aside from AZN's, hipsters, nd the Blogosphere, 1 of the more popular talking points of this blog has always been The.French.

In all past discussions of these mysterious/silly/cunty-but-loveable ppl, theyve been addressed bcuz of their amazing nd often superior music.

Nd with artists/singers/DJs/electrosluts like Uffie, Justice, Yelle, nd M83 just 2 name a very select few, its understandable y Im so often discussing the going-ons of the French music scene.

But there r so many othr things about the.French that we hardly ever address.

Such as their food.
Croissants = YumCity.
Nd a Baguette.with.Ham+Cheese is so "in" these days around lunchtimes.

(Thnx 2 FoodPornDaily 4 this wondrful pic of a potentially Paris-inspired sandwich)

Nd how about French fashion?
Paris has always been way ahead of the USofA in terms of its apparel/wears.




(both pixx courtesy of the many Lookbook postings of French ppl)

Just want some1 2 travel to Paris on my behalf 2 bring me back lots of vintage/chic apparel that I can wear in an effort 2 prove to my frnds/co-workers that Im more fashion-forward than them.
Assuming that this will lead them 2 in turn further question my sexuality.
Hoping that this wont effect the 3.on.3 BasketballTournament Im currently taking place in with a bunch of Bros who work a few cubicles down from mine.

But at the end of the day, no matter what else Paris/France/the.European.Union has 2 offer, its stellar music is what makes me continue writing about it.

So I continue 2day with a Parisian newcomer called Make the Girl Dance.
Theyve been tearing up blogs evrywhere 4 the last 2 weeks or so with a highly provacative/"SexyCanI" music viddy nd a SuperCatchy KindaCunty AbsolutelyBombtastic song called "Baby Baby Baby".

Here r some of the more memorable lyrics of the lil song translated in2 our more native tongue...

I want your Mom’s Black Amex. I want your Dad's car.

I want to go out with your mates. I will wear my cutest panties.

I want a hot sex session. You can look but you can’t touch.

I want to be Justice's top friend, I want Gaspard's hand on my thigh.

I want to be the only person in photos. And I want to model for Yves Saint Laurent.

I don't want any cake. I just want Coke.

I don't want Kate, I want Ethan Hawke.

I want ice cubes in my glass. I want to smoke dope with your grandma.

Nothings available 4 purchase yet in the US, but Im sure thats coming soon.

So 4 now, try 2 get some1 u know 2 go over 2 France nd purchase some of their music 4 u. Nd maybe theyll bring u back some EuroChic/Would.b.Gay.in.the.USA clothes that ull secretly fall in love with.

But until then, enjoy the music 4 free.
Watch the pretty.much.full.frontal music viddy here:

Make The Girl Dance "Baby Baby Baby" ( official video )

Nd here's the mp3 PLUS a bonus mp3 of a pretty great remix of the song by another French electronic duo called No Kiss With Gloss (this is a link 2 their myspace, u's all)


Make the Girl Dance - Baby Baby Baby (mp3)


Make the Girl Dance - Baby Baby Baby (No Kids With Gloss Remix) (mp3)


Je veux 2 bitch all nite,
José

A Guido's Role in the East Coast MTV Universe

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A-Quick-Post: Believe Achieve

L.A. Nouveau presents "A-Quick-Post": a new kind of post thats quicker, shorter, nd more 2-the-point on updating u's all about life in the Nouveauniverse.

Here r some thoughts/tidbits/ideas:

- Swine Flu jokes r officially "less funny" than jokes about Clay Aiken's outed sexuality, MexiCNN reports. -

- Amrican Idul: is any1 still watching? Dont know any1 that still watches. Heard a rumor that my parents might still watch it. Im trying 2 get 2 the bottom of this fallacy. Miss u Sanjaya. -

- Im trying 2 brainstorm some creative things that I can do with all of the face masks I bought 2 weeks ago when all my frnds said I would die from the Swine if I didnt. Could make some nifty bday presents. I heard theyre still worth a lot in China, Toronto, nd other SARS-affected cities. Maybe next time I go on tour with my Indie/PunkRokk/Hipster/Hampster band, we'll perform wearing face masks. Nd then can throw them out 2 all our fans at the end of the show. Perfect. -

- Wondring how HilaryDuff is doing these days. Havent seen her in a while/am a lil nervous 4 her wellbeing. -

- FoxNews' indienews channel FxNws reports that 78% of ppl still think that Terri Schiavo is totally do-able. Brett Michaels has more on that story -

- Finally, (FINALLY!), life is particularly stressful at the moment 4 many of the college kids out there dealing with finals, moving back home 4 the summer, getting sucked down corporate loopholes in order 2 find "meaningful jobs", etc. I wish all of u's good luck at this daunting time of yr.

As my good frnds at Cansei de Ser Sexy, commonly referred to as CSS, would say:

"Believe Achieve".

Enjoy the José-fave musical number below:

CSS - Believe Achieve (artist name is a link 2 their myspace. just trying 2 promote the bands 2 u's.)

"I wanna b just like u Bitch," - CSS

José

So Tell Me, Have U Seen Her?: A Meme Is Born

L.A. Nouveau presents a new Meme 2 add 2 its already enormous collection of hardly viral Memes.

Let me introduce u the Newest thang now.

Presenting: Have U seen this AZN???

There r a lot of AZN's (asians, 4 those of u who are still hipster-illiterate) in this lil country of ours.

Actually, they make up only about 5% of the USofA.

But they make up a shitload of areas like California, LosAngeles, nd IvyLeague schools.

Bcuz of their overwhelming presence in many places like L.A., an overbearing issue has arisen: how 2 tell them apart.

4 whatever reason, it can often b very hard 2 distinguish 1 AZN from the next.

But maybe if we focus more attention on distinguishing specific AZN ppl, it will bcum easier 2 tell em all apart.
Nd by telling them apart, we can better understand the things they do, what motivates them, what prompts their unknown azn actions, etc.

Nd thus, I bring u:

Have U seen this AZN???

2days AZN:

So... Have U seen this AZN???

She was last seen totally screwing up ppl's school projects by not being able 2 formulate her words correctly nd thus wasting all of the time the othr presenters had 2 speak during.

Shes also been known 2 refute other ppl's ideas by using big words that dont come out correctly bcuz of her lacking English skills.

Additionally, she recently travelled 2 HongKong where she felt generally more accepted in2 society bcuz of her AZNness nd her Westernized-meets-Chechnya sense of style.

In the future, she plans 2 remain generally subdued by AmericanSociety despite her high-level B.S./B.A. in economics/InternationalRelations.

She also enjoys eating Dumplings, nd other AZNnation food/drink-things/brightly-colored-nuclearly-radiated-rice-produced items.

So Have U seen this AZN??? Share where/when/what this AZN was doing when U saw it.

(Even if this isnt necessarily the AZN u saw, Im sure u've recently seen 1 like this, so please share ur sensitive story regardless)

Leave a comment. Share a tale.
Nd remember 2 email jose@LAnouveau.com if u come across a noteworthy AZN that ur wondering if ppl have seen recently.

Looking for more AZN bitches 2 blog about,
José ≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠

There's Only 3 Kinds of Thank U's Out There

This usually isnt the "designated time of yr" 2 say Thank U for stuff.

Generally mainstream society tells us that we should start being cognizant of the things we should start 2 b thankful 4 right as Halloween ends nd as we are propelled in2 the consumer "HolidaySeason" til we reach an eventful climax @ ThanksgivingDinner where evry1 is obliged 2 share their most meaningful "I M Thankful 4" 's until evry1 just feels bad 4 how much they have.

These feelings of Thnx r expected 2 continue throughout the rest of the December month until u r completely surrounded by gifts/gift-giving nd thus the only thing 2 b thankful 4 is that ur getting that new Wii2.0 4 Xmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Choose.ur.own.LooselyAffiliated with Religion.December-based.holiday

It thus seems like midApril is just not even remotely a designated time 2 "b thankful". But at a time where excellent Summer Jams r beginning 2 leak via mp3 Blogs, the weather is getting warmer 4 those of us not lucky enough 2 live in LosAngeles, California, school nd other related academic endeavors r coming 2 an end, nd the MusicFestival Season has just kicked off with the best music festy in the country (Coachella), theres a surprising amount 2 b thankful 4.

Nd so I want 2 personally share a story of Thanx on this random April day that may or may not be the 23rd day of the Month.

While there r lots of things Im happy 2 b thankful 4,

There's only 3 things I want 2 specifically call upon. (similarly 2 the # of kinds of fish)

Nd here they are:

1. Crystalmeth. Thank u Meth 4 being the gateway drug of choice 4 so many hipsters/gays/Latvians around the world.

Thank u 4 supplying some hilarious moments in the lives of many of my frnds.

Thank u 4 being the 1 drug thats still funny 2 joke about, bcuz lord knows that coke jokes are so last yr.

2. AustinPryfogle. Thank u NorCarolina-based grrrl named AustinPryfogle 4 being courageous, strong, and above all, absolutely amazing at life.

Thank u 4 giving us so many wonderful stories 2 share at the dinner table.

Thank u 4 not letting fear dictate ur life, nd instead, letting ur own spirit guide u.

Nd thank u 4 getting me involved in the legal system.

Nd finally,

3. Black Moth Super Rainbow. Thank u 4 FINALLY leaking a few tracks from ur upcoming album 'Eating Us'. Since that late-January day when the Sampler track was first released, I knew this album would b amazing, but was horrified nd dismayed 2 realize that I wouldnt get to hear any of it until months in advanced. But now, the time has cum 4 a few tracks 2 be leaked over the internet.

Thank u 4 not getting all leak-prevention-crazy like some artists do.

Thank u 4 making albums that Im actually going 2 buy, nd not just on iTunes, but on Vinyl, bcuz thats how epic this album will be.

Thank u 4 being MorganArons-esque "Originals" by making completely original-sounding music that fills my head with wonders nd excitement nd intrigue. (Read more L.A. Nouveau posting about Being an Original via MorganArons here: http://lanouveau.blogspot.com/2009/01/hipsters-intense-discussion-on.html)

So if ur willing 2 hear a leaked track from the new album, enjoy 1 here.

This is the lead single, called "Born On A Day the Sun Didn't Rise".

Its a bit more intense than ur average trip-balls Black Moth song, but its undeniably 1 of their best songs yet.

Enjoy it here:

Black Moth Super Rainbow - Born On A Day the Sun Didn't Rise

Bitching with Thnx,

José ≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠≠

P.S that above was a brandnew end-of-the-post distinguisher.

Dear 2morrow, I Love U. Bcuz of Coachella.

Once upon a time, nd by that I mean on the 23 of February, a blog post on L.A. Nouveau was written discussing an amazing event that was going 2 occur in the far reaching future.

No, I didnt blog about the worldwide re-emergence of Zoroastrianism in the 2030s.

The blog post topic was Coachella.

Read the former post here: http://lanouveau.blogspot.com/2009/02/musical-ejaculation-via-coachella.html

At the time, Coachella, the wrld-renowned music festival that takes place evry year in the California desert, was months away.

But now, we've finally reached the day where I can proudly say

Coachella. Is. 2MORROW.

Holy. Shit.

What.the.Fk.

Mom.

Cant believe the time has finally come 4 me 2 experience my first Coachella evr.

Want 2 share with u an excerpt from the last blog post written about Coachella:

"...as an L.A. newbie, nothing excites me more than thinking about being a part of Coachella.
Just want 2 have the Best / Most Cliché Coachella Experience Ever.
- Want 2 pass out from dehydration.
- Want 2 get drugged while I'm camping out in the desert.
- Want 2 have my first mini-heart failure while listening 2 the Ting Tings.
- Want 2 have my identity stolen at a convenience store in lil downtown Indio.
- Want 2 musically 'fall in love' with 1 of the lessr-known artists that I muster enough courage 2 interview after their show.
- Want 2 fill up 4 memry cards worth of photographs that I took from the wknd on my Canon Rebel.
- Want 2 be offered "cheese" [aka a cocktail of Tylenol PM & Heroin] by Sir Paul McCartney.
- Want 2 run out of gas along I-10 b4 I even hit Palm Springs on the way home.
- Want 2 enjoy a 'religious experience' with hipsters that I randomly meet during the wknd."

More thoughts of mine regarding Coachella that have developed since this last blogpost:

- Sad nd shocked that my former friend Amy dropped out of the lineup. Shes usually so professional.

- Glad that the no-longer-preggy M.I.A. will b there instead. Miss her. Saw her last June in some random east coast city. Couldnt tell she was pregnant back then. Im pretty sure she was rly stoned. I wonder if she still smokes as much weed now that she has a lil AltBaby.

- Intrigued that 1 of the main sponsors 4 Coachella is Heineken Music. Didnt know that Heineken Beer Co had a music dept. Someday I wish 2 b the first artists signed by Heineken Beer Records. Pretty sure Ill have 2 b drinking a Heineken in evry music vid/promotional shoot/at evry concert on stage. Dont rly like Heineken, so maybe I wont do this. I think id rather b signed to Crystalmeth Records. Id b totally happy 2 promote that juicy goodness.

- Hoping that Steve Aoki nd the whole Dim Mak crew doesnt h8 me when Im hanging out at his pool party on Saturday. He didnt rly seem to warm up to me that much last time we met at that CobraSnake yard sale.

Share ur Coachella Eve thoughts with the whole lil L.A. Nouveau community.

Leave a comment about ur fave Coachella artist/least fave/what artist u plan on dying of dehydration during.

Bitch b at Coachella 2morrow,

José

Its Good 2 Have Frnds, or Friends of Friends

Here's something thats really "in" right now that u might find interesting: frnds.
Frnds/friends r so "in" at the moment.
After the massive decline of the importance of frnds thanks 2 the end of the similary named television series back in 2004, most ppl believed that frnds were on the way out 4 good.
But thanks 2 many factors including but not limited 2 the Economy, BarryObama, nd the hit series 2 Catch a Predator, the importance of having friends seems 2 once again b on the rise.

Cuz with all the problems/fighting/religgy.extremism.via.revolutions out there in the World, making friends seems 2 b one of the only solutions besides the inherent Iraq-Iran-Saudi-Israeli-Chechnya War of 2014.

Nd while there r so many ppl out there who totally suck, there r also a lot of others who we could all benefit from befriending.
Maybe not BestFriending, or even RlyGoodFriending, but at least friending.
Maybe just say Hello 2 them when u pass them on the way 2 work, nd then "Friend" them on facebook, follow them on Twitter, comment with them on L.A. Nouveau, nd get ready 2 enjoy having another person in ur life who u can technically call a frnd.

Nd with all this SocialNetworking nd increase of friends, more nd more ppl r doing things with their frnds.
Like music projects, such as a cool 1 called "Friends of Friends" or FoF.
Its a record label where 2 or more artists can come 2gether 2 create an EP 2 split the revenue nd walk down a path of rainbows nd synthesizers 2gether 4ever.

The most recent FoF edition brings 2gether L.A. Nouveau-fave-electronic "experimental music producer" Daedelus and an another L.A.-based electrodude named Jogger.
So here 4 u 2day is 1 of the hotter of the tracks off this joint EP.
This ones by Daedelus, its called "L.A. Nocturn".
Nd its got a rly awesome music vid produced by a Friend of L.A. Nouveau, nd features a young socialite whos also a Friend of the blog.
Check this shit out belowskies:



The Bitch just might B Back,
José

Summer Music 4 2kNine is On Its Way - Post One

L.A. Nouveau the blog is back... sorta.
I know Im shocking a lot of u's that Im actually blogging again.

We all know the rumors u heard about how José moved on, about how L.A. Nouveau was bcuming a production company/party planning masterpiece instead of just a blog.
Nd 2 b honest, blogging wasnt something I was sure Id b doing again.

But with the way the Economy still is, with the way that global warming is, nd with the way that Mainstream Music is right now thanx 2 the FloRiders' fellatio anthems nd the SoldierBoy's "Sexual Desperation via Mobile Phone", I feel its only right 2 help u's out musically.

Especially as Summer 2kNine is creeping closer nd closer like a bad case of SARS in Beijing/TorontoCanada.
So in my puruits of finding the freshest new music, I plan 2 occasionally Post a lil something 2 prepare u 4 the Hipster/Blipster/ElectroCircuit Anthems of SUMMER 2kNINE.

FIRST.
The big one.
Grab ur shortsleeve flannel, ur thinned-out CircleScarf that u will wear as pants, nd whip out the TanningOils cuz this 1's gonna b around 4 the Summer.
Its by Canadian DJ / Electro artist TIGA, whose new album Ciao! cums out soon. (circa April 27 2kNine)
The song is called "Shoes". This song will leave u wanting more. Nd by the 50th time uve heard it, ull h8 it. But then ull take a lil break nd find it again b4 Labor Day nd b in love again.



Tiga - "Shoes"

Nd take a look at the bizarre/hilarious/wtfff/LadyGaga?v2.0 music viddy 4 this hot track:



Whats ur take on it?
Love it? h8 it? Vom'd during it? Cant see clearly aftr it? On ur way 2 the ER? Post a lil Comment.

Ill b posting another great Spring/Summr 2kNine track tmrw.
Srsly tho. If u dont believe me, cum on back 2morrow.
It normally may not be this frequent tho, so take this day 2 thank God/Jesus/YoungerReligiousBrother/Choose.ur.own.inspiration.figure 4 the return of some L.A. Nouveau goodness.

Bitch,
José

I Love U L.A., But U've Chosen Darkness

A few months ago, something big happened in my lil Alt life.
Something bsides liquidating my future retirement fund.
This big event was Moving 2 L.A.

Hence, the name of this blog. [L.A. Nouveau translates 2 the New Los Angeles, in case u were still unaware, slowpoke bogens]
Hence, the ideas that r expressed in this posting site.
Hence, the way I currently live my lil life...

- Like raging at epic concerts in the L.A.area.
- Like taking pixx of nature/the skyline/the mts.
- Like trying 2 get a tan at thebeach.
- Like soaking up the sun.

Which is why I get quite angsty/upset/grumpy/grungy when its Cloudy.


The picture above is an exmpl of what LosAngeles isnt nd shouldnt b like.

Maybe its ok 4 Chicago 2 b completely Cloudy.
Maybe its ok 4 NorCal/SanFran 2 b completely Cloudy. Mostly bcuz its just not as nice as SoCal. Couldnt resist stirring up some drama with this lil antiNorCal commnt.
Maybe its ok 4 Manchester, UK 2 b completely Cloudy.
Maybe its ok 4 Syracuse, NY 2 b completely Cloudy.

But its rly not ok 4 L.A. 2 b completely Cloud-covered.
As Mr. G once said in his self-titled musical production, "It's just not right."

Cuz it brings us Angelenos down.
It makes w'all unable 2 do the L.A.-like things that we usually like 2 do.
Just makes us feel angsty nd pissy.
Want 2 call upon the 1979 song/album by the.Electric.Light.Orchestra. 2 relay my message 2 the Clouds that currently hang over the city of LosAngeles: "Dont Bring Me Down".


h8 2 sound like a spoiled brat.
h8 2 nag since most of u's all have 2 deal with cloudyness a lot.
But srsly.
U dont go 2 Rome nd expect 2 eat shitty food.
U dont travel 2 MexicoCity nd expect 2 not have ur lungs severely affected.
U dont move 2 Chechnya nd expect 2 not b kidnapped.
Nd u dont relocate 2 LosAngeles nd expect 2 deal with Overcast Cloud-filled days like 2day.

This whole lack-of-abundant-sunshine thing makes me think of an AltBand with a truly epic name that i only recently found.
Altho theyve been around 4 the last few yrs, theyre starting 2 get a lil more exposure in the mp3Blogosphere.
The name of the IndieQuartet MusicalGrouping is I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness.
So enjoy this lil song of theirs, wonderfully titled "Your Worst is the Best".


I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness - "Your Worst is the Best"

I h8 u bitchtastic Darkness,
José

Musical Technology Bringing Us "Down Down"

Sometimes, technology brings us 2gether.

Its how Im able 2 ViddyChat with my besties when Im feeling restless on a Sat nite but dont want 2 leave my house.

Its how I send my grrlfrnd flowers on random occasions by connecting 2 the 1800Flowers.com iPodTouch app I bought 4 $9.99.

Its how I can hack in2 my moms bank account via my BlackBerry iStorm when I need extra funds.

Its how I share my angst feelings on ppl's fb walls while lipsync-ing my fave angst songs.

[via FaceBook]

But sometimes, technology ruins evrything.
Like talent.
Thnx 2 audio-tuning, it doesnt rly take much effort 4 "singers/rappers" 2 make mainstream-loved tracks these days.

Keep hearing that ovrprocessed 80's-cover song by the AfricanAmerican Musician FloRida lately bcuz the CDPlayer/iPodMini Connector is broken so I have 2 listen 2 the radio.
Miss the old "U Spin Me Round Like A Rcrd Baby" song. Dont rly miss u Dead.or.Alive.
But cant believe this original hit dancetrack was turned in2 such a graphic sexualrefrnce in the Florida song as he sings 2 his lover, "U spin my head right round right round when you perform fellatio."

Already thought that 2000's Rap was a lil bit of a Musical cop-out bcuz u dont rly need 2 sing, u can just speak in a hip way nd have good beats.
But now u dont even have 2 rap 2 create what mainstream music deems as "Fresh Tracks".
H8 u LilWayne nd ur gross digitalized voice thing.
Miss u when u used 2 rap nd not AudioTuneSing, Kanye.

Not only does it not take much talent 2 make a "Hit Song", it doesnt take much 2 perform 1 anymore either.
Exmpl: The following dreaded performance:


Cant beleive we've cum 2 a day where ppl can put on a concert via solely their iPhones.

Wonder if ppl will just settle 4 this in the future or if this will b the straw.that.breaks.the.hipster's.back nd ppl will take 2 the streets demanding that concerts cant b performed via iPhones.
I want 2 b certain that the next concert I go 2, there will b no iPhone-performance section of it.

Thank u Loney, Dear nd Andrew Bird 4 not doing anything even remotely like this at the amazing concert u's both performed last month here in LA.
Truly appreciate Andrew Bird's musical genius nd his integration of technology via recording himself during the concert nd then playing back his recording in order 2 play more over it.
I deem this A Good integration of technology vs. A Bad "2kNine.iPhone.Concert.Series" integration of technology.

Bitchin 2 bring iPhone Concert Reform,
José

The Best of the Last NinetyNine BlogPosts

Very special BlogPost ahead.
Like, this is a big one.
This is not a drill.

Its L.A. NOUVEAU's
OneHundredth BlogPost.
This officially marks the 100th Posting that will b published via Google's the Blogger + the writer/artist/entertainer José.

Cant believe its already been 100 BlogPosts.
Wasnt always sure Id make it 2 see this day.
Sometimes felt like just 'giving up' the dream.
Oftn asked myself if it was worth the effort 2 keep going when viewership would plummet.
But thru Thick&Thin, we made it. I made it. U's all made it.
2 see the day when L.A. Nouveau would b a 100+BlogPosts Blog.



So in an effort 2 honor the fact that there have been NinetyNine diffrnt/diverse/multicultural/AfricanAmerican BlogPosts written b4 this 1,
Want 2 chronologically reminisce with u about ur fave BlogPosts in L.A. Nouveau history.

Ive consulted some of the Wrld's best blog readers 2 cum up with a list of their favrite posts, including many of the AllStars that u know nd love who have been previously mentioned in L.A. Nouveau, such as SKeimig, Ally, HelenKellr, Brody nd more.

Here's some of the results 4 the ppls Fave Blog Posts of the last NinetyNine...

- The Circle Scarf: God Says Ur Welcome - A deep exploration of the Wrld's best fashion invention in histry: The Circle Scarf. 2 know José is 2 know my love 4 the AmericanApparel CircleScarf. Nd 2 express my love for the CircleScarf, I had 2 incorporate a lil bit of BlogArt.

- How 2 B More "Out There Grindin" nd Other Pieces of Advice - After discussing diffrnt places on the InterWeb 2 find good Advice, 1 critical WebbySite was examined: WikiHow. Nd conveninently, the WikiHow 2 of the Day was "How To Grind", making 4 a great discussion about just how 2 get down on the dancefloor. Plus, gave some notable commentary on the shitshowy yr that was 1942. h8 u 1942.

- Report: Teens Channel Their Teen Angst Into Txt Msgs - Warning, this link will send u 2 all BlogPosts that are Labeled as 'Sufjan' just bcuz the actual link 2 the post isnt working. Way 2 Suck Blogger/GoogleInc. But after a lot of review, most of the lil scholars seem 2 agree that this is 1 of their fave posts. Rly opens up about what it means 2 feel Teen Angst. Nd the best part about it is its authenticity... its a REAL TXT MSG I intercepted along the way.

- Ur Nouveau Travel Agency has Arrived - Aftr realizing that we might just b in a lil Economic Downfall, I figured it would b helpful around the holiday season 2 share with u's all some of José's travel recommendations of diffrnt places 2 go in the UnitedStates 2 help out the Economy nd not invest ur dollars in othr wannabe nations. A few ppl even shared their Holiday Travel Stories aftrwards. Wish more ppl would commnt.

- Ally+Bro: A New Internet Meme - While it was pretty recent, this post might just b the defining BlogPost of our blogosphere-based generation, where InternetMemes like LOLcats nd RickRolling dominate poplar culture. A collection of photos of 1 of L.A. Nouveau's most trusted interns. Under the pseudonym Ally in order 2 protect her real identity, she eloquently poses with an incredible collection of diffrnt types of Bros. This collection is a once-in-a-lifetime viewing experience.

- Its Not Easy Being Alive nd Born From 1979-85 - An apologetic look at a large demographic in our society who at first would seem 2 'have it all', but in reality has it pretty rough. This group of humans Im discussing is 20somethings. Plus, this BlogPost contains the now famous quote
"Just trying 2 save myself from the most Jager Yoga period of my life". Cant beat that.

Have any othr L.A. Nouveau BlogPosts of the last NinetyNine that u particularly loved? Share them via Commenting. But srsly. Theres a shitton more blog posts nd Im sure at least 1 of them struck u in some way.
So inform me nd ur fellow readers so we can all b "in this 2gether".
Or share ur thoughts via theFacebook on the Discussion section of the newly-redesigned L.A. Nouveau page. xx Direct link here: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=110138205400&topic=8500 OMfG xx

Wonder what the next 100 BlogPosts will look like.
Wonder if the InterWeb will still b a free place 4 me 2 communicate with u's all by the time L.A. Nouveau is at its 1,000thBlogPost.
Wonder if u's all will still b alive nd well 2 read the 2,350thBlogPost.
Wonder which 1 of u's all will try 2 assassinate me in order 2 take over this blog someday.
Wonder if any1 is even out there...


Hoping 2 get a 'Sign' that life still exists.

Hoping 2 Celebrate this Great Moment in L.A. Nouveau history by partying with u's all 2morrow night at the L.A. Nouveau HeadQuarters.
Hoping u's all will stick around for the next 100/200/500/InfiniteAmount of BlogPosts.

Thnx 4 being part of this greatness.
Thnx 4 helping us make history.
Final tribute 2 the 100thBlogPost:
100. 100. 100. 100. 100.



Love u bitches, but srsly,
José

Sry CyberBullies, Im Just Not Offended

Dont know about u, but not much offend me these days.
Used 2 b a lot more Offend-able.
Back in the days of LowSelfEsteem/Hypochondria/Menopause, used 2 b kinda sensitive 2 the harshness of the wrld.
Used 2 feel a lil hated on.
Used 2 feel kinda targeted.
Used 2 feel uncomfortable when ppl would do/talk about morally offensive things.

Remembering now back when I got rly upset when ppl thought it was funny when MichaelJackson dangled his babyrobot ovr the hotel balcony. Used 2 say things like,
"Thats a child right there!" or "U should care 4 its life" or "Look at the pain in Jacko's eyes" etc.
Now I look at the paparazzipics nd cant help but laugh, thinking of how much fun it mustve been 4 that lil Baby 2 get all that Media attention nd for Jacko 2 get all that publicity.
In the end it rly was a good call... plus the Baby didnt die or anything, so, guess thats a plus.


So nowadays I dont rly get offended by much.
Maybe its cuz ive been exposed 2 so much that im no longer freaked out enough by anything.
Maybe if I didnt watch my fave SoapOpera star get mauled to death by a crowd of protestors when I was 12yrsold in Long Beach, CA, I'd b more easily offend-able.
Maybe if I didnt write an angsty hipster blog, I would care more when I offend othr ppl. [Still think that there r oppresive things about GreekLife at colleges that remind me of Nazism, sry Kansel]

Feel like our lil society is splitting in2 a dichotomy btween 2 diffrent types of ppl:
Ppl who nevr get offended, nd usually find Offensive things funny. &
Ppl who get offended over evrything, nd have a higher moral standard.

I am the 1st exmpl.
As are most of my closest frnds.
Like the 1 who jokes around with me about the funny man's accent at the end of HotelRwanda.
Like the 1 who gave a speech at my MiddleSchool graduation about how her personal hero in life is Terri Schiavo.
Like the 1 who threw out all her underwear cuz she was sick of wearing them a few summrs ago.
Like the 1 who did modeling nd took cute pixx of herself being crucified 4 a new "Just Say No 2 Meth" campaign.

Like the 1s who at age 13 introduced me 2 the musical wonder that is Peaches.
A crazy bitch grrrl whose real name is Merrill Beth Nisker, who's bff's with Feist, whose music is as edgy nd offensive as anything my frnds would do.
U may have heard her most notorious song "Fuck The Pain Away" b4.
This may have been the song my frnds nd I danced 2 in the hallways in eighthGrade.
So let me share with u now some more shittastic tunes from her.
This is a lil jam called "Boys Wanna Be Her". The title should tell u enough. U know Id want 2.


[photo cred via Rollo&Grady]

Peaches - Boys Wanna Be Her

Getting down 2 the Bitch sounds of Offensiveness,
José

Get Creative With Your Intake/Alcoholism

Warning: Not trying 2 promote the "binge drinking culture" with this upcuming post. But, like, whatevr.

Now that thats out of the way, it seems like a good time in the yr 2 discuss the cleverly created pastime of 'consumption entertainment activities', aka 'drinking games'.
It is, after all, officially the bizarre lil month of March, a month full of holidays/experiences like St.PatricksDay where ur lil Irish frnds get 2 b all "proud" of their hungerstriken heritage so u can drink a lot.
The month of March is also usually home 2 SpringBreak, a common ritual that finds many collegeStudents using excessive amounts of booze/drugs/sex 2 have a good time in some warm sunny locale.

Nd while there r plenty of ways 2 drink nd places 2 do so, sometimes they bcum cliché nd frustrating when utilized 2 much.
- Like at a club.
U gotta love the club scene, but always having 2 throw down lots of cashmoney 4 cheapo lil drinks can get rly annoying.

- Like at a FratParty/BasementParty.
While these two party scenes r cumpletely diffrent, they r similar in some regards, like their overall sketchiness, the increased potential for unwanted sexual activities, the high possibility 4 hard drugs, nd in regards 2 drinking, where its all very excessive nd usually containing alcohol that ur not rly sure of.
Cuz even if its in a bottle u recognize, chances r that its been refilled with some kind of crap OsoNegro-style shit that will probably make u vom later, anothr key similarity between FratParties nd BasementParties [via the frequent vomiting of partyguests after they leave].

- Like with ur parents. Cuz nothing says "Our family is doing just fine" like taking shots of Jack Daniels. Especially when this is in conjunction with a death or an elderly some1's birthday.
But some would find it surprising 2 hear that this can bcum problematic after a while.
[Miss u N.D.]

So sometimes when all of these places/events/experiences get kind of tiring 2 always b partaking in drinking at, the best thing 2 do is gather up a few good frnds nd partake in 1 of those good ol drinking games.

Nd the best part is: There r so many diffrent Drinking Games 2 choose from.

- There's the Card-related Drinking Games.
Like the ones my college self loves 2 play.
Love u Kings.
Want 2 start playing Go Fish! as a drinking game more with my frnds/family.

- There's the Media-Interactions Drinking Games.
Which in itself there r many kinds of DrinkingGames too.

1 Exmpl: Playing a movie drinking game.
Nearly any movie will work. 1 my frnds recently did was a Drinking Game 4 "American Beauty".
Went a lil something like this:
Drink evry time...
1. Any1 does drugs.
2. Lester obsesses over Angela.
3. Ricky is seen videotaping anythng.
4. Lester argues with any1.
5. Lester is shown exercising.
6. Angela calls Ricky weird/freak/anything along those lines.



Anothr Media-Interaction Drinking Game exmpl: Watching a speech/the news.
If u decide 2 wake up 1 morning, flip on CNN nd take a shot of ur fave hard booze evry time they mention the Economy. Its a surefire way 2 4get the rest of ur day nd evrything that will unfold.

Thnx TinaFey 4 making this NewsInteraction DrinkingGame so popular via ur SarahPalin impressions. aka Taking a swag 4 evry use of the word "maverick".

Suggesting that u start making a Drinking Game out of ur reading of L.A. Nouveau.
Here r the rules:
Take a shot evry time u see the word "hipster", "Uffie", "mp3", "LosAngeles", or "Nouveau".
From here, get ready 2 enjoy a great hardly-remembered nite.

- Lastly, cant 4get the NothingButHornyPpl Drinking Games.
The exact games range in nature, nd r often the most creative nd metaphorical of the Drinking Games.
But the basic idea behind them is always the same: when ppl want 2 do sexual things, putting them on an entertaining path 2 do so via alcohol always creates 4 a memorable experience.

Want 2 hear about the NothingButHornyPpl Drinking Games that u like 2 play when ur in a group setting with ur peers.
Or any othr creative Drinking Games that u have found 2 b meaningful in ur life.
Want 2 create a Drinking Game Forum via This blog post.
So plz comment away.

Hoping bitches will implement the new L.A. Nouveau DrinkingGame,
José