A New Way 2 Add Spice 2 Ur Life

Looking 4 some excitement? Having a craving 4 some unexpected surprises 2 cum ur way? Well besides hitting up my frnd's roommate 4 some 3-way action with her cousin, I have another fantastical answer:
Travel.

Like, in the U.S.
Around the holidays.
In this crazy G0d-loving, Hummr-hugging, LilWayne-tugging, peen-rubbing country of ours, there is no time more exciting/tumultuous/nerve-wracking 2 fly than from Thnxgiving thru NewYrz, a time that WalMart/BestestBuy/Targèe/amzon.com likes 2 call the "holiday season". In case u werent aware b4. I'm starting 2 4get what ppl know and don't. Lo siento. (Thats spansh 4 sry, in case u were once again unaware... this shits like 4th grade all ovr again)

But anyways, let me tell u, there is excitement and surprises galore this time of yr.
Let me share with u a few of mine from the last 2 days of travel.

- I was surprised 2 find that apparently not all humans were taught to walk/move/get the fk out of the way. Did u know that? Has evry1 always known this bsides me?
R ppl divided into classes of walkers vs. non-walkers, nd I had no clue this whole time?
Will prejudice against walkers by non-walkers b the new racism of 0h-9?

- Flight attendants make great best frnds. Like, if u need a quick bestie fix, find the nuttiest crew membr of the bunch, make a lot of eye contact, ask 4 help a lot, tell him/her how much ur digging his/her little wings pin, nd get ready 4 the best several-hr frndship evr.
I love u/miss u Pearle. Thnx AirTrans. Who knew transferring in Atlanta could b so fun and rewarding? Thought it would just b an awk-fest.
Got worried that some Georgia-based haters wud b waiting 4 me at the terminal, ready 2 take my lyfe. Thnx 4 not harming me 2 much, ATL-former-H8rs.

- Security ppl can actually be nice.
I know. Weird as fk.
But it happened.
This morning.
She smiled at me, said she liked my name, made a joke 2 the lady in front of me about pulling her aside cuz she was skeptical of her identity but immediately said "JK!" LOLzers.


Well doesn't he look frndly? Way 2 work ur magic with the kids, son.

So I'm still trying 2 figure out if i was ok with this whole TSA-being-nice-2-me ordeal.
I mean, friendliness is always cool. But it was like, whoa, since when r u friendly?
Nd why? Whats the hidden agenda here?
R u trying 2 get me 2 fess up 2 some illegal shit that im bringing on board?
Is this the Govmnt/Fedsies new way of figuring out who the bad guys r on my plane?

Now that i think about it, should i even b allowed to "BlogOnBoard"?
Is it legal 4 me 2 be blogging up in the sky?
Am I allowed 2 express angst/hipster rage/my problemz while im in the plane?
Getting super nervous.
Now i'm scared shitless, kids.

Aborting this post b4 its 2 late.

But srsly,
Holiday travels.
Fill me in about urs.
How was that 3-day stay in Minneapolis? Heard they have some nice Marriotts ther.
How was ur road trip 2 Bosnia? Miss it there... plz fill me in.
Por favor. (In spnsh that means please... love this whole 4th grade memries thing)
Commnt this shit.

Stay betchtastically fly in the sky,
José