I h8 it, I love it, I miss it.

My frnd Carles over at Hipster Runoff recently composed a brilliant post where he realized that he only has 3 real emotions nd can only feel 3 different ways about something:

He can h8 some1/somethng.
He can luv some1/somethng.
He can miss some1/somethng.

(courtesy of HRO, obv)

nd while he h8ed on, luv’d, and miss’d some great thngs that i agree/disagree/didnt give a shit about, the best categorization he gave to somethng/some1 was to the following...
"JUSTICE. h8/luv/miss u"

nd now i’d like to share somethng that i too h8, luv, miss.
drumroll pleaze:

fb. (this is the last time evr i will explain that fb stands 4 facebook, nxt time ur on ur own)

on one hand, i h8 fb more than anything.

i hate the shitty fbchat, i hate the rising cost of fbgifts, i hate the fbAds telling me where i can meet the hottest BBWs, i hate all my awk fbFrnds who i think i went to highschool with but cant even remember anymore

but mostly i hate the way i dont hate fb, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
ok thats a lie, i hate it a little
but i also luv fb.
i love getting brilliant bumper stickers from drunk ppl, i love looking thru the last 5 yrs of my life thnks to fbPics/Tag’dPics, i love fbPoking those special some1s in my life, i love knowng that the girl i used to date in middleschool is now bi bcuz she changed her ‘interested in’ to include both men nd women

nd yet, with all the h8 and luv, i mostly just miss fb.
i miss when i wuz 1 of 5 ppl in my highschool network cuz evryone was still on UrSpace, i miss when nuze feed just came out causing massive riots wrldwide, i miss when fb was super trippy and said “4get missiles, im switching 2 nukes” at the bottom of evry page

so in reality, i h8/luv/miss fb.
but what i do h8/h8/h8 is the way some ppl use fb and the things that they write/do/post on fb.

ex. fbNotes. Rly? Get a blog or somethng. Don’t ever do this. Evr. I’m trying to think of any exceptions where its ok to write notes. Nd i can’t think of any. At all.

nd now, the EXAMPL OF THE DAY: fbStatuses. sometimes they’re great... they let u know what ur frnd/mom/grandma is up to... they r sometimes hipster humorous... they r sometimes kind... they r sometimes really really angsty... and that’s all fine.
but sometimes, they’re DUMB AS FK.

FOR EXAMPL:


so here’s my question:

WHAT THE FK DOES THAT MEAN?
R u serious right now? What r u even trying to say here?

- R u trying to tell us that u r a lesbian and would rather just have guy frnds?
- R u trying to tell us that u r gonna marry all the girls in that picture with u?
- R u trying to tell us that u r teaming up with my sophomore yr bio teacher to take down all men evrywhere?
- R u trying to tell us that u r straight up on crystalmeth?

So apparently this is a quote from a LesboTVprogrammy. However, it makes no difference. It's still the cuntiest thing ive seen in quite some time.
Nd one more question: What the fk is up with the HeartGraphicBullsht thing at the end of this already cunty-as-fk quote? Riddle me that.

So congratulations, fbGirl with the pixelated name,
U r being crowned, right here, right now (This is HISTORY in the makng ppl!), as L.A. Nouveau's first-ever official CuntyMom of the Week!

Remembr this day in a bitchtastic way,
José