HELP! Hipster FormalWear Does Not Exist!

There’s a lot that’s happened in the last few decades.
We’ve invented a lot of shit.
A lot has been created.

In case ur wondering, “like what?”, the interweb is a pretty good exmpl.
Anothr is EZPass/SunPass/QuikTollz/electronic toll paying systems.
Nd we can’t 4get the iPhone/iPod/iTunes/iLife/iDeath. Thnx Apple.
Yet while so much has been invented nd created, there’s still one HUGE monster-monstrrr-huge thing that has really yet 2 b discovered/made/established.
Nd my life without it is rly problematic.
What’s this missing key 2 success?

It’s Hipster FormalWear.

Especially 4 men.

It doesnt rly exist.
Like, at all.

It does 2 a slight degree 4 women.
Cuz u can still wear ur dresses/slutapparel/sweetkicks/bullsht stuff.
But men have nothing. At all.
Like, even the classic hipster sweatrs cant b pulled off as FormalWear.
Even the tightjeans/solidcolor pants cant suffice as FancyPpl Clothes.

Bcuz Hipster Apparel is innately nonFormal.
Bcuz the whole idea behind the bohemian/brohemian hipster is recycled clothes/AmericanApparel/PLAID (fking love u plaid)/acid washed evrything.
Its clashing, bashing, thrashing, and straight up mashing whatever can cum 2gether 2 embody the lower-middle class urban-dweller look.


Nd while hipster apparel is the best shit ever, there is such a massive void in the realm of fancyclothes/FormalWear. Now I know that by wearing FormalWear, ur sort of being anti-hipster i suppose.
But sometimes, even hipsters/blipsters/azns have 2 dress up.

Sometimes we go 2 fancy parties too.
Sometimes we need 2 impress CuntyMom BusinessMen.
Sometimes we have 2 attend weddings/BarMitzvuhhhs/funerals (shoutout inserted here 4 the Pyrff Girl who will b the party dancer at my funeral, love/miss u).
Nd sometimes, its just nice 2 look Fancy.

But whenever I have 2 dress up 4 this kind of stuff, I hate having 2 cumpletely reject my style in evry way. I hate looking like a dressed up DoucheBro.
I hate looking so prim nd proper that ppl have no idea that my lifestyle is pretty much hipster.

But yet there’s no way 2 get around this, bcuz FormalWear is just innately not hipster.
So this is my plea 2 all the scientists/medics/researchers/pharmacists/southbitches/fashiondesigners out there:
Make Men’s Hipster FormalWear. Idk how 2 do it, but u’s r smart ppl.

So please figure it out. Just wanna go 2 my workplace’s 2k9 Holiday Party nd still feel hipster in what i’m wearing.
Just wanna b allowed in2 fancyppl restaurants, yet still get looks about why i'm a lil diffrnt than evry1 else.
Just wanna b myself nd still wear FormalWears.

The Bitch Said Yeah, The Bitch Said Yeah™,
José